Qualities

I think there are a number of reasons. Society has become very selfish, we live in a microwave society (instant gratification), some people view others as easily replaceable with the mindset of, "what you won't do for me, someone else will", the emphasis on marriage and the family structure of a 2 parent home has slowly diminished. I could go on...lol

It's hard for me, cause I come from a traditional family as a whole, but more so, my parents have been married 55 years and my sister will be married 30 next month. It's like I see good, but almost like they're rare examples within my family and step out to something totally different in the outside world...lol

 

Damn you were a late in life baby weren't you. 55 years is amazing wow. My parents are celebratin their 30th this month but their marriage is less than stellar so I'm praying for different. In fact all the "working" relationships I know of usually involves the dude bringing home a huge six figure salary. Its like comfort equals love these days. I'm just realizing more and more I have to leave NY because I tried living like that and slowly kills your soul.
I seriously considering a smaller state like Delaware or New Hampshire or even Canada at this point. I know you guys hate hearing this but this spoiled entitled culture weighs on the spirit too much. It shouldn't be this hard, anway enough griping. Thanks for the talk IB

 

I'm actually the same age my mother had me, but yeah, I'm the baby. My mom and sister both got married very young. My sister has been with her man (husband) since she's 12. Also a very rare occurrence.

People love asking my parents what's their secret to their longevity. They want to know how to achieve that many years too.

Regardless of the issues, Happy Anniversary to your parents!

With the relationships I know that are healthy, it's not about income, I see there's a mutual respect and people know their roles and know their individual responsibilities and work at making it work.

I have the same theory about finding a suitable partner by moving out of state too. I don't know anymore. LA sure doesn't breed love here...lol

Thank you for the shared thoughts too, Andrae. It's nice to see you have open mind for finding someone.

 

I see no reason not to be open minded. If flava flav can find love why not us lol.

 

LMAO!!! amazing what laughter can do for stress. ty dawg:smt043:smt043

 

COSIGN
my parents have been married 41years. wasnt easy but its a beautiful thing!!!!!

 

LMAO!

I love hearing stories like this. God bless your parents...

It's definitely beautiful!

 

i'll go with these qualities assuming there is mutual physical attraction:

values family first
loyal
honest
high self-esteem
playful
positive
willing to work, if need be
traditional
limits nagging/complaining
enjoys traveling

can hold a conversation about more than what rhianna wore to the music awards

could probably think of more but i think you all get the picture:smt050

 

I agree wholeheartedly with your first paragraph. This accounts for many reasons why it's hard to find a quality person who wants to settle down.

I'll add another one: the grass is always greener mentality. I think online dating sites have caused a lot of problems, too. I think it's easy to get addicted to them with the whole "I'm sure there's someone even better out there" mentality.

My parents celebrated their 52 year anniversary this year. With my luck, maybe all of my marriages will add up to 52 years. LMAO!! I wish it wasn't like that, though.

 

Yeah, I think the internet does allow for easy access, but even if it's not online, somehow people still have that mentality regardless.

Congrats to your parents as well! Another one to add to the list....

LOL! Stop! I bet your next one will be the best one and the longest happiest one. All that you had to go through, will make this one worth it.

 

i think the mentality stems from numerous factors, however, one primary factor is how "getting a divorce" is viewed nowadays. back when, there was a certain amount of shame and other negative connatations associated with getting a divorce. my parents had many probs, however, according to moms, didnt dare think to go down the divorce road because of how it would impact and be viewed amongst the family. fortunately, they worked out their differences and are happy as HELL now. nowadays people seem to be less tolerable in general, and the ease of divorce is a quick fix as opposed to resolution. another contributing factor, especially in the US is the womens liberation movement. imho, its unintended consequences were that as women became more independent due to gains legally, and occupationally (to name a few), there was a paradigm shift in the way marriage and relationships at large were viewed. i imagine when women feel that they dont need a man, they are less inclined to work through issues that perhaps their mothers and grandmothers would have met head on:smt045

 

Shit if I meet someone I can settle down with fuck what else is out there that's why God invented porn. It all comes down to if you're ready or not and I'm ready to meet that woman.

I hope you stay open babygirl. You have so much to offer, don't waste it.

 

What a great success story!

Definitely agree with your whole post. Divorce as well as getting pregnant out of wedlock, you were shamed. I agree about the Womens Movement. I always say, if we could take some of the morals, values and ethics of yesteryear and mix it with the tolerance and open-mindedness of today (I'm talking about the people who actually are...lol), we'd be a great society.

 

true
id never stay in a loveless sexless marriage no matter how much kids me and my wife wwould have

 

My parents will celebrate their 49th anniversary this December. I have a brother and a sister that have been married to their spouses for 26 years this year, and I have another brother that has been married to his wife for 24 years so longevity runs in my family too.

I want what my parents have. Was their marriage perfect? No. Were there difficult times? Yes. However, they are committed to each other for the long haul, good or bad. I see how my dad still looks at my mom, and how sometimes when we are driving somewhere, that he reaches over, takes her hand and tells her that he loves her. He still whistles at her when she is all dressed up. I think that it is just so cute how much he still adores her after all these years. I see how my mom has become my dad's nurse through all the sickness. I see her weep when he's not there as she worries about his health, and a minute later when he enters the room, she becomes his rock telling him how we are going to beat this and that they are in this together. 100% devotion is the only way that I know how to describe it, and that's what I want. I won't settle for anything less.

Also, IB, I wanted to tell you congratulations on your mom and dad's good reports. I'm really happy for you and your family. I know that it has to be a major relief.

 

GG, I absolutely agree with you. I want nothing less than what my parents have.

Unfortunately, like the saying goes, they don't make 'em (men) like they used to. There seems to be less men every year willing to spend their lives with only one woman and committing to one person for the rest of their lives.

It's sad, really.

 

Hold on a minute Bookie. Why are you grouping all men like that, its such a gross over generalization. There are plenty of men on this board who don't think that way.
Maybe you need to widen your circle and you'll find what you're looking for.