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Qualities

Discussion in 'The Attraction Between White Women and Black Men' started by Unique4ever, Oct 30, 2010.

Page 4 of 9

Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

whikle said: ↑

I like this, and I agree wholeheartedly.

There are lots of qualities I admire and prefer in a man, but the ability to share openly without fear of being judged/ridiculed/taken the wrong way is easily my #1.

It takes a certain level of maturity which is hard to find, though..!
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It's wonderful when a man is mature & comforatble enough to be open & vulnerable without feeling that doing so makes him weak. I wish more men understood that the macho shit is NOT necessary to make him a man & that we can be trusted to love him, not judge him & always have his back. Society hasn't done men any favors by telling them that a real man should repress his emotions. Open communication would make things easier & bring couples closer.

Of course there are women that don't exactly encourage men to want to share their feelings. Nagging, complaining, trying to be his mother/treating him like a child, not being supportive, discussing our problems & what he tells us with other people (aka gossip), getting mad or frustrated with him for not thinking & responding like a woman would or for not reading our minds when we leave subtle hints instead of being direct. We gotta let a man be a man. It's best to encourage love & trust & a deep connection so they feel safe opening up to us.

Maturity, understanding & communication has to go both ways or it just won't work. It especially helps to let each other know he/she is appreciated.

Tamstrong, Nov 1, 2010

#61
whikle Well-Known Member

Tamstrong said: ↑

It's wonderful when a man is mature & comforatble enough to be open & vulnerable without feeling that doing so makes him weak. I wish more men understood that the macho shit is NOT necessary to make him a man & that we can be trusted to love him, not judge him & always have his back. Society hasn't done men any favors by telling them that a real man should repress his emotions. Open communication would make things easier & bring couples closer.

Of course there are women that don't exactly encourage men to want to share their feelings. Nagging, complaining, trying to be his mother/treating him like a child, not being supportive, discussing our problems & what he tells us with other people (aka gossip), getting mad or frustrated with him for not thinking & responding like a woman would or for not reading our minds when we leave subtle hints instead of being direct. We gotta let a man be a man. It's best to encourage love & trust & a deep connection so they feel safe opening up to us.

Maturity, understanding & communication has to go both ways or it just won't work. It especially helps to let each other know he/she is appreciated.
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:smt023

whikle, Nov 1, 2010

#62
Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

andrae09 said: ↑

Oh yeah. When it comes to love ones I usually have blinders on. I can only se the good, I think that's why I've had a lot shitty relationships in my early twenties. I would ignore the foul behavior and focus on the good even though the bad outweighed the good by a lot.
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Been there & done that too many times myself!

FRESH said: ↑

She has to be sexy: not that fake, superficial, and or trashy sexy. That sexy that you can't outright pin-point, you say "damn you're sexy, I don't why but you are."

She has to possess a dry sense of humor: All the humor now is dry & situational. I laugh at Seinfeld, Will Farrell, and at movies like the Hang Over, if she doesn't find this stuff funny, it's gonna be a problem.

She has to be easy going: I hat when everything is a thing. You know you don't always say or do the right thing in a relationship, address it & move on, don't dwell on it. Why should we fight about where we are going to eat, why I'm late, why I like the tissue to come from over the top of the roll and not under...

Just a few things.
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Lots of laughter & no drama sounds like a winning situation! :smt023

whikle said: ↑

:smt023
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Thanks Whiks!

Tamstrong, Nov 1, 2010

#63
whikle Well-Known Member

FRESH said: ↑

She has to be sexy: not that fake, superficial, and or trashy sexy. That sexy that you can't outright pin-point, you say "damn you're sexy, I don't why but you are."

She has to possess a dry sense of humor: All the humor now is dry & situational. I laugh at Seinfeld, Will Farrell, and at movies like the Hang Over, if she doesn't find this stuff funny, it's gonna be a problem.

She has to be easy going: I hat when everything is a thing. You know you don't always say or do the right thing in a relationship, address it & move on, don't dwell on it. Why should we fight about where we are going to eat, why I'm late, why I like the tissue to come from over the top of the roll and not under...

Just a few things.
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I think I just need a stock standard saved response to every post you make.. "Love the way you think!!" :smt039

whikle, Nov 1, 2010

#64
FRESH New Member

whikle said: ↑

I think I just need a stock standard saved response to every post you make.. "Love the way you think!!" :smt039
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Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I was thinking you had a beautiful mind. I didn't see you in chat the day before, of course I was doing the Halloween thing yesterday.

FRESH, Nov 1, 2010

#65
whikle Well-Known Member

FRESH said: ↑

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I was thinking you had a beautiful mind. I didn't see you in chat the day before, of course I was doing the Halloween thing yesterday.
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I was very conscious of missing our chat date!! We'll have to take a rain-check. Or I will hit you up on yahoo some time.

whikle, Nov 1, 2010

#66
Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

Tamstrong said: ↑

It's wonderful when a man is mature & comforatble enough to be open & vulnerable without feeling that doing so makes him weak. I wish more men understood that the macho shit is NOT necessary to make him a man & that we can be trusted to love him, not judge him & always have his back. Society hasn't done men any favors by telling them that a real man should repress his emotions. Open communication would make things easier & bring couples closer.

Of course there are women that don't exactly encourage men to want to share their feelings. Nagging, complaining, trying to be his mother/treating him like a child, not being supportive, discussing our problems & what he tells us with other people (aka gossip), getting mad or frustrated with him for not thinking & responding like a woman would or for not reading our minds when we leave subtle hints instead of being direct. We gotta let a man be a man. It's best to encourage love & trust & a deep connection so they feel safe opening up to us.

Maturity, understanding & communication has to go both ways or it just won't work. It especially helps to let each other know he/she is appreciated.
Click to expand...

I so agree! Of course, I dated a man recently who said he wanted open communication and said he was a good communicator and he was just the opposite. :smt011

Bookworm616, Nov 1, 2010

#67
Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

Bookworm616 said: ↑

I so agree! Of course, I dated a man recently who said he wanted open communication and said he was a good communicator and he was just the opposite. :smt011
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That sucks. Sounds like he just said what he thought sounded good & what he thought you'd wanna hear. Unfortunately that happens too often. My ex was not good at communication & that definitely played a part in why it wasn't working.

Tamstrong, Nov 1, 2010

#68
Unique4ever Well-Known Member

swirlman07 said: ↑

Since you started the thread maybe it would be nice to do what you want others to do, and tell us about the qualities you want in a man.
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Ok you are right.
So if I could assemble me the "perfect" man he would be:

honest
faithful
understanding
patient (needed badly with me!)
able to laugh about himself
reliable
passionate
open minded
smart
interested in life and learning new things
he should love animals and nature

Last edited: Nov 1, 2010

Unique4ever, Nov 1, 2010

#69
The Dark King Well-Known Member

Bookworm616 said: ↑

I so agree! Of course, I dated a man recently who said he wanted open communication and said he was a good communicator and he was just the opposite. :smt011
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I don't know where you women get your handbook lol.
If I had a nickel for everytime I heard a woman say she wants a nice guy and then went for the asshole/macho guy i'd be rich. Life never favors the meek and humble women are no different. Maybe what you guys are talking about comes with age.

The Dark King, Nov 1, 2010

#70
jayarmy New Member

Unique4ever said: ↑

Co-sign!
Im still looking for someone who understands my twisted/dark sense of humor though. The only person I know that maybe does is just a friend and will never be more, cause thats the only thing I really find attractive about him LOL
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So are you saying that you are looking for someone with that quality to have a serious relationship with and not just a friend?

jayarmy, Nov 1, 2010

#71
jayarmy New Member

andrae09 said: ↑

I don't know where you women get your handbook lol.
If I had a nickel for everytime I heard a woman say she wants a nice guy and then went for the asshole/macho guy i'd be rich. Life never favors the meek and humble women are no different. Maybe what you guys are talking about comes with age.
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You are so correct and guys like me who will treat them with kindness and respect get kicked to the curb. Why??? Because Im more technical than gangster. Of course they give me a play when they think about "net worth or potential". I just dont get it!!!

jayarmy, Nov 1, 2010

#72
Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

andrae09 said: ↑

I don't know where you women get your handbook lol.
If I had a nickel for everytime I heard a woman say she wants a nice guy and then went for the asshole/macho guy i'd be rich. Life never favors the meek and humble women are no different. Maybe what you guys are talking about comes with age.
Click to expand...

Andrae, I'm not sure why you quoted me. Maybe you assumed I stuck with the guy even though he wasn't a good communicator? I didn't. I've told this story countless times on this forum, I only found out he was a bad communicator when after 7 months of dating he decided to just never speak to me again. No warning, no reason, no nothing. That is why I said what I said.

jayarmy said: ↑

You are so correct and guys like me who will treat them with kindness and respect get kicked to the curb. Why??? Because Im more technical than gangster. Of course they give me a play when they think about "net worth or potential". I just dont get it!!!
Click to expand...

You know why you get kicked to the curb by women? It's because the women who kick you to the curb haven't matured enough to realize that a nice guy is someone to be appreciated and cherished. There's no other explanation.

Now let's not confuse me with those immature women who don't appreciate a nice guy. I will not continue dating a guy unless he's nice. As I've said in my post on the qualities I'm looking for in a man, I NEED a guy who treats me well AND treats my daughter well.

Now, stop with the every woman doesn't want a nice guy crap. It's getting old. :smt015

Bookworm616, Nov 1, 2010

#73
jayarmy2 New Member

Bookworm616 said: ↑

Andrae, I'm not sure why you quoted me. Maybe you assumed I stuck with the guy even though he wasn't a good communicator? I didn't. I've told this story countless times on this forum, I only found out he was a bad communicator when after 7 months of dating he decided to just never speak to me again. No warning, no reason, no nothing. That is why I said what I said.

You know why you get kicked to the curb by women? It's because the women who kick you to the curb haven't matured enough to realize that a nice guy is someone to be appreciated and cherished. There's no other explanation.

Now let's not confuse me with those immature women who don't appreciate a nice guy. I will not continue dating a guy unless he's nice. As I've said in my post on the qualities I'm looking for in a man, I NEED a guy who treats me well AND treats my daughter well.

Now, stop with the every woman doesn't want a nice guy crap. It's getting old. :smt015
Click to expand...

WOW!!! Its nice to hear that someone would actually appreciate me out there. Thank you for sharing!!! I really appreciate hearing your words.

jayarmy2, Nov 1, 2010

#74
jayarmy New Member

Bookworm616 said: ↑

Andrae, I'm not sure why you quoted me. Maybe you assumed I stuck with the guy even though he wasn't a good communicator? I didn't. I've told this story countless times on this forum, I only found out he was a bad communicator when after 7 months of dating he decided to just never speak to me again. No warning, no reason, no nothing. That is why I said what I said.

You know why you get kicked to the curb by women? It's because the women who kick you to the curb haven't matured enough to realize that a nice guy is someone to be appreciated and cherished. There's no other explanation.

Now let's not confuse me with those immature women who don't appreciate a nice guy. I will not continue dating a guy unless he's nice. As I've said in my post on the qualities I'm looking for in a man, I NEED a guy who treats me well AND treats my daughter well.

Now, stop with the every woman doesn't want a nice guy crap. It's getting old. :smt015
Click to expand...

WOW!!! Its nice to hear that someone would actually appreciate me out there. Thank you for sharing!!! I really appreciate hearing your words.

jayarmy, Nov 1, 2010

#75
The Dark King Well-Known Member

Bookworm616 said: ↑

Andrae, I'm not sure why you quoted me. Maybe you assumed I stuck with the guy even though he wasn't a good communicator? I didn't. I've told this story countless times on this forum, I only found out he was a bad communicator when after 7 months of dating he decided to just never speak to me again. No warning, no reason, no nothing. That is why I said what I said.

You know why you get kicked to the curb by women? It's because the women who kick you to the curb haven't matured enough to realize that a nice guy is someone to be appreciated and cherished. There's no other explanation.

Now let's not confuse me with those immature women who don't appreciate a nice guy. I will not continue dating a guy unless he's nice. As I've said in my post on the qualities I'm looking for in a man, I NEED a guy who treats me well AND treats my daughter well.

Now, stop with the every woman doesn't want a nice guy crap. It's getting old. :smt015
Click to expand...

Sorry baby girl thought I was replying to Tam. My bad, forgive me?

The Dark King, Nov 1, 2010

#76
Arwen New Member

FRESH said: ↑

She has to be sexy: not that fake, superficial, and or trashy sexy. That sexy that you can't outright pin-point, you say "damn you're sexy, I don't why but you are."

She has to possess a dry sense of humor: All the humor now is dry & situational. I laugh at Seinfeld, Will Farrell, and at movies like the Hang Over, if she doesn't find this stuff funny, it's gonna be a problem.

She has to be easy going: I hat when everything is a thing. You know you don't always say or do the right thing in a relationship, address it & move on, don't dwell on it. Why should we fight about where we are going to eat, why I'm late, why I like the tissue to come from over the top of the roll and not under...

Just a few things.
Click to expand...

That might be an issue in a relationship, LMAO.
It's fun you borught it up though.

Arwen, Nov 1, 2010

#77
wtarshi Well-Known Member

FRESH said: ↑

She has to be sexy: not that fake, superficial, and or trashy sexy. That sexy that you can't outright pin-point, you say "damn you're sexy, I don't why but you are."

She has to possess a dry sense of humor: All the humor now is dry & situational. I laugh at Seinfeld, Will Farrell, and at movies like the Hang Over, if she doesn't find this stuff funny, it's gonna be a problem.

She has to be easy going: I hat when everything is a thing. You know you don't always say or do the right thing in a relationship, address it & move on, don't dwell on it. Why should we fight about where we are going to eat, why I'm late, why I like the tissue to come from over the top of the roll and not under...

Just a few things.
Click to expand...

trashy sexy...well that rules me out

dry sense of humor...that could count me in

easy going...BINGO...!!!!

so where do we go from here...??? :smt047 oh and 21 days and counting :smt047:smt016:smt055

wtarshi, Nov 1, 2010

#78
Raul Sinclair New Member

Hmmm....She has to have:

A sense of humor

Intellectually stimulating conversation

Maturity

Great personality

Big heart

Her own money

Raul Sinclair, Nov 2, 2010

#79
Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

jayarmy said: ↑

WOW!!! Its nice to hear that someone would actually appreciate me out there. Thank you for sharing!!! I really appreciate hearing your words.
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Of course! There are tons of women out there looking for nice guys. You just can't stop looking until you find one. We're out there looking for you!! :smt042

andrae09 said: ↑

Sorry baby girl thought I was replying to Tam. My bad, forgive me?
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Sure, I can forgive you, if you stop bringing up the all women want are a-holes thing. LOL.

Bookworm616, Nov 2, 2010

#80

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