Is it wise to..?

I'm very spiritual, i tend to not focus on physical attributes at all but more on establishing a soul connection with the person I'm with. Which brings the question, am I seeing the relationship in true honesty if my girl & I never talk or acknowledge that we're of different colour? I'll like to hear your thoughts. I never knew what "race" was until i was about 11yrs old so it's hard for me to look at it as something that's fixated (default). I tend to approach my gf in a buddhist sense, we're all one spirit. feedback

 

I think that's a very open-minded outlook you have and that you see the person for who they are, not what color they are. However, in this society, we're constantly reminded about our differences, especially racially. I think for you internal relationship, that's how it should be viewed as, but you also have to be aware of the external forces that don't agree with it, but in the end, who cares - as long as you're happy.

 

Thank you!

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone looked past race?

*Sigh*

 

I think it definitely depends on the kind of background you and your partner come from. I know that I had a drastically different upbringing than many of my boyfriends had. It was almost counter-productive to our relationship to not acknowledge our differences. There is a difference in acknowledging cultural differences vs. racial differences. Although sometimes they overlap depending on where you're from. Either way.....I think there is something amazing about 2 people accepting the other's differences and learning something about themselves through those. Just my little 2 cents. :drinkers:

 

Thanks a lot inner beauty. I find it interesting that your name represents what my post was about, getting past the exterior of a person & focusing on their inner beauty. coincidence ?

stephanie that's the term I was looking for. "counter-productive." was there ever a point during your relationships where you weren't aware of your bf's race? For me it's the moment of bonding & true love, you no longer describe your partner but feel for them.

Inner beauty you stated an interesting point that I'll like to address. You said we're constantly reminded of our differences by society and that's the challenge for me. I never knew what race was until i was told so by someone else, so in a way i'll be operating by another person's perception on life & not my own. Does reacting to someone else's perception make it real?

observer#1 who sees colour as one being & observer#2 who sees colour as multiple beings. is it counter productive for oberver1 to not acknowledge observe2's way of viewing life?help

 

I think you should keep going like you are doing now. Of course you SEE a difference, even if it's just the color or features. You would be blind if you didn't, but the important is that you and the girl you date get along and have a connection. Of course society is going to remind you how different you and her are... but it's normal for anything. We are reminded if our car is black or white everytime we see it. but that doesn't mean that you wouldn't appreciate a nice car if it's another color, right? lol, I know it might sound weird... it's the only way I can say that.

 

I'm buddhist so explain the buddhisnt sense.

Here is the deal man as I see it. Acknowledge are difference is also a sign of respect, and what you will also find is that we are more similar than we are different. Loving a person does not mean you have to pretend they are not who they are, in fact I believe it is just the opposite.

 

So true...


But until that much hoped for 'post-racial society' (That DOES exist in *pockets* of society, of course...) everybody talks about..

Live by 4 words:

Too Much Like Right!



'Nuff Said!!!!














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You're welcome! I think we tend to have our superficial moments, but most people seek someone who has the inner workings of a good person.

Lets take the mirror for example. We can both stand in the mirror and see each other, right? I see myself who I look at everyday and you see yourself. Now we bring in a 3rd party. They can look at us individually as Devorn and Inner Beauty or look at us - as a BM and WW. It's all about perception. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, we're only viewing it from a personal perspective with whatever objective one might conclude.

 

thx thickshawty, your statements are so light-hearted, cheerful.

Ymra thx for sharing your view-point, i respect that. I wouldn't say that I'm denying her for who she is. Since you're buddhist I think you'll understand this. In silence we're all one but only when we choose to describe or create thoughts we get the illusion that we're different. I don't have that thought that enters my mind that says "white person" whenever I see her. So therefore I get to see her for who she is and not what others may describe her as. I'd have to disagree with you on your last statement, sadly. I feel love is about merging with someone to the point that you don't see them as separate from yourself.

 

heavenly analogy. thank you. That was well thought of. That would be my current concern at time time, continue looking at ourselves as Devorn and Inner beauty as I've always known, or introduce the 3rd party's perspective to my way of seeing things..so i guess there's no right or wrong but a matter of preference?thx