Staying away from trouble - BUT was I wrong?

I work in a high testesterone environment dominated by males - almost exclusively WM (never been a problem - just setting up the scene in your mind). My industry is well known for its use of strippers etc to celebrate "high value wins" etc. Moving along ....

Every year we have an intake of interns. I'll refrain from using the pseudonym used to refer to the female graduates, (someone I know may be reading this!) - but from the picture I created in the first paragraph, it should be easy to "triangulate" and arrive at an (invariably correct) endpoint.

We also have personal secretaries - almost all exclusively WW (typically ..., well let's just say they fit the "blonde secretary" stereotype). There is intense competition between us guys to land the "hottest" secretary. Shallow I know - but there is more to my actions than meet the eye (this is a mind f**k I know). I compete with the other guys because I want the hottest girl, because most of the time - my colleagues version of a "hot" girl, is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of my idea of a "hot" girl. Why compete then, you may ask?.

Well, I like to keep work and private life as completely seperate entities - NO intersection EVER!. If I don't compete, I end up with having to make a selection from the pool of "less desirable" (from my colleagues POV) applicants. For some reason, these invariably, tend to be the "fuller figured females" (I refrain to use the word PAWG/WHOOTY because the jury is still out on those words - see my other question http://whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15225).

Now, fuller figured WW are my Delilah, my Kryptonite. They affect my ability to think rationally (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4921690.stm), and I cannot afford (literally) to be distracted at work. So by competing (and getting) a "HOT" WW (read: has the figure of a boy, and a skinny one at that), I am able to build a professional working relationship with her, and if she bends down with her ass in the air, filing papers (or whatever), is on all knees searching for something on the floor etc, it has ZERO impact on me, no akward moments etc. Makes for a great working environment.

On one occasion however, my strategy back fired, and I "WON" one of the girls deemed hot - who was the spitting image of Jessica Simpson (when she was curvy). By "WON", I meant I had the final say as to whether she got the job or not. I was required to interview her and come to a decision. It was a complete disaster. To make matters worse, she was a girly, girl, cute and demure, and blushed easily. I was putty in her hands (though I doubt she knew the power she had over me). My words didn't come out right, and I kept apologizing for making silly mistakes - in short, I was a mess. To make matters worse, at the end of the interview, I had a "raging" boner - this often happened with other colleagues, and though they wore it as a badge of pride, well I couldn't do that for 2 reasons (i). I keep my private life separate from work (ii) Penis envy

In short, I realized I could not work with this woman as she would be too much of a distraction, so I "pulled the trigger" (not literally ofcourse!). I informed HR that she was not right for the job - even though she had all the right qualifications. Yes, I felt superbad about it, but I just did not want to run the risk of a frisson at work, being sued for sexual harrasment etc - I just don't need that kind of drama.

As an aside, before anyone judges me too harshly, an innocent thing like her would not have survived long in such a "hostile" environment anyway. The other secretaries are absolutely vicious to each other, constantly at each others throat (when they think theres no one observing), as they compete for the "BIGGEST SWINGER" (the alpha male OF the alpha males). In a way, we are all complicit in this intricate, unreheased Darwinian dance. But I couldn't help feeling like I had "shot Bambi". I like to think it was for the best though, I am sure she would have had no problem getting a job elsewhere.

My question to BM, is how would YOU have handled this?

My questions to WW: under the circumstances, were my actions justifiable? I mean, I did have her best interests in mind - even though that may not be obvious.

 

Your Royal Highness of the Forum, I defer this one to you. :smt029

 

i know one thing..im not reading all this shit

who do you think you are man, an acclaimed author

:smt028

 

Dude, there are federal labor laws written for men just like you. But you can't be for real, so go ahead and get your rocks off by writing fiction and tryna pass it off here as your life. You wish, hahaha!

 

well yeah you can't exclude women from jobs, just because of their looks. They don't rely on men anymore for support, and need jobs just like everyone else. As for the distraction, that's just something you gotta live with in the real world. Some women are just beautiful and curvy and really can't do much about it.

Shit they even have female prison guards in male prisons now...you aint safe from pussy anywhere

 

My bff was a C/O, and she told me stories of what power trips some of the heffa female guards have over the prisoners. Wont let them shower, deny them all kids of shit and talk to them like they're little boys, yell at them....total raging bitches who dislike men. And my friend is real pretty and they made her life hell, were very jealous of her.

 

one of my part-time mates is a full-time C/O, and always tells me stories (usually sexual) of female C/Os where he works at

8==D Apparently he's not complaining about diversity in the workforce....

as for the power trips...I wouldn't doubt it...All those years of pent-up frustration being in the shadow of men.....now you get to control EVERY aspect of their lives...

hell

god forbid if one of the inmates was a rapist....

he's as good as dead, lol

 

Yes, some female C/O's do sexually mess with the prisoners, she told me that too.

I could never be a C/O. I cant be a bitch every day like that.

My BFF told me she was very respected because she never denied them anything they were rightfully entitled to. Didn't talk down to them, or yell at them. She just did her job and they never compromised her safety, they always looked out for her and kept other prisoners in check for her. She said at any given moment, its her against 100 prisoners she's overseeing without a gun until help arrives.

 

Ofcourse I know it is illegal. One dosen't always get the job one goes after (even though fully qualified for) - and it could simply be because the employer thought you wouldn't "fit" the culture, or there was a candidate who was a better fit. In case you were not aware, an interview is all about whether you "fit" the culture of the firm or not. If you dont have the qualification, you don't even get a look in. In my case, technically, I could not work with the woman, because she would interfere with my work. Obviously, I'm not a prat - thats not the reason I provided to personnel for her not being a perfect fit. This sort of thing happens all the time. Welcome to the real world - its not all "lightness and sweet" my dear!.

Regarding your second point, all I can say is "Wow!". It never even occured to me that someone might think I was making this up. In many respects I suppose I have lived too sheltered a life. It also shows the fallacy of the underlying premise that BM that date WW (or the other way round), automatically have something in common.

It is becoming very obvious that I have very little in common with the people on here. Its inconceivable that a day at work as I described may seem so fantastical as to be untrue. I am not quite sure whether your incredulity is due to the fact that you don't know of a BM that works in this sort of environment (surely not - I have met several BM whenever I went to our offices in NY or Chicago) - or could it be that you don't believe that a BM can reach those "heights". Either way, it confirmation of a closed mindset and an unwillingness to accept the possibility that something you deem "impossible" really isnt. America really is a land of contradictions. Here you have a BM as a president, and at the same time, you have such low expectations of BM.

I must admit, my language on here has been shocking at times - and I have said a lot things that I am embarassed about. Annonymity is a double edged sword - I have certainly said things on here that I will never utter in the presense of anyone I know.

Anyway, as I was saying its clear that you have a cohesive set of people on here - possibly from similar backgrounds, and with similar work experience, life experience, world view and mind set - all of which are possibly quite diametrically opposed to my own experiences.

I am waiting for a torn tendon to heal (hopefully in a few days), after which I will be up and about again. After that, I am sure you'll be glad to hear that I will be deleting my account (i don't een know if thats possible) - but I certainly will be gone.

I must admit, the experience on this forum has been a rather wierd one - almost like vising people under siege in a camp or something. Pretty strange ....

 

I don't think your actions were justifiable but that doesn't mean that looks have no bearing on whether people are hired or not. I think it happens more often than we'd like to admit. I remember getting a job many years ago. After I was hired, someone told me to take a look down the row of cubicles I was in and tell them what I noticed. Sure enough, each cubicle was occupied by a blonde woman.

Oh, and judging by what you wrote, it didn't seem like you had her best interest in mind. Or did I miss something?

 

Well then, get legal. It's 2010, not 1970.

Hey, do you mind if I get long-winded...I know you won't, so enjoy!

So which is it? Is 'fitting in' the job lander, or the qualifications?

Do you hear yourself?
You stated in post #1 that every man in your company tries to land the hottest secretary. Do they all then respond like you? Turn around and have her fired? Why even hire her then if all she's going to do is turn your nuts blue? (hey, that rhymes )
So if all the chicks are hot, you and your male co-workers must never get any work done, huh? So you know, the real world you mentioned is in fact, women doing their jobs in a respectful environment.

Because I <-- think you may be stretching the truth, suddenly it's an issue of uncommonness between BM & WW? The mere fact that a BM and WW like each other is automatically something in common. What power you give, lol.

I see. So should I subscribe to your office antics and applaud your boners for bent over secretaries shaped like Jessica, to have something in common? Tell us something else about you, your likes, dislikes, hobbies, maybe (the women at least) may be able to find something in common with you.

Oh yes, that's definitely it. Such perceptions, lol.
Why not re-read your post of how it goes down at your work, and ask me again if I believe a BM can reach those "heights" you allude to (but never mention exactly what) You mean how high your erection can go, that height?
You haven't even described a constructive day at work. Wait, you did mention an environment that encourages strippers as celebrations. Is this where you or Bob down the aisle hits the company's sales quota or closes that huge Wall street deal, so bring on the dancing strippers on the boardroom meeting table and pop the champagne. Woo hoooo! I bet Bob emerges with cauliflower hair. Oh them big ass stripper titties, brrrrrr!

I laughed my ass of on this one. Dude, the behavior you described is LOW. I expect BETTER. You're the one telling me this is what happens, that 'its not all lightness and sweet'. (aka a professional work environment)

Never will? And why is that? So basically you're either living a lie on here, or in your real life. If you admit to saying shocking things, then expect to be shocked back. GTHO with your "I'm shocked you could think this way about me"? after admitting to blatantly wanting to shock us. (say shock 10x real fast for fun )

Who's the set? I think me and Espy. There's hundreds here. No-one's really even responded to you except me and her and the other lady was was being facetious.

So me retorting to your sexual antics and firing of women causes you to hobble off (cant say run yet, that tendon is a mutha to heal.) Sorry if that's the case. How about I let you look up my skirt and soaking wet panties while I drop the steno book, so you can then get rid of me.

Oh c'mon, grow some balls. Weird? Kind of like this thread?
What is it with people who think they can dish it out but cry 'attack" when they are served back? I also got tested by a member when I came here and I rolled with his punches. Where did your he-man Board-room man go when you need him, eh?

 

I think they make medication for people that easily distracted?

 

Yeah, his is 'HR on Speed Dial'.

I wonder how many times he's watched the movie Obsessed, lol. Idris Envy, I'd call it.

 

My queen, I'm going to spank that lovely behind of yours if you keep this behavior going.

 

I am not quite sure I understood any of your disjointed emotional rant. I made several points, all of which seem to have gone right over your head.

The simplest point I made was that the underlying premise of BM dating WW (and vice versa), was that there was some commonality - solely because of that fact they were in an IR. Certainly, the very name of this site whitewomenblackmen.com would seem to suggest that. For some strange reason, you were not able to infer this simple fact from the statement I made.

In real life, our paths would most likely NEVER cross - or judging from your (lack of) analytic skills, it is perfectly safe to assume that you would be one of the cleaners working in my office. I don't see why I should make the effort to try to understand your feeble ramblings in an online forum.

I find it therefore, a total bore and waste of my time, arguing with you over anything. I am simply not interested in anything you have to say.

 

yes, I think it's wrong you didn't hire her. ...And why are you so fucking horny?

 

Nope, you didn't make that point.

On the contrary, you whined that since it never occurred to you that I wouldn't buy your horny office tales malarkey, it thus "showed the fallacy of the underlying premise that BM that date WW automatically have something in common"

Don't feign dumbness now.

Aww pseudophilosopher, its me, your cleaning stripper, hun.
Did you forget that late night on your desk
when you made me use this to unclog your...

 

And here I was thinking all you brothas wanted was a submissive WW who knew when to defer to her king...! :smt051

 

Dude, YOU are the weird one. You state a scenario, ask for input and CRY when people didnt agree with your clearly shitty action in this scenario - I dont think you will find many honest people that will agree with what you did.

Anywho.. since you wont read this.... I wont tell you to go buy thicker skin, shave off a TON of your self-centerness ands also buy a sense of reality as your view of the members of the board and their background is simply laughable, that among many other things.

 

dude I only read comic strips.... can you shorten this a bit and put some pictures with it