black women just dont talk to me ??

this website in itself is like a breath of fresh air lol but anyways back to the subject.

Ever since i was in high school I've always dated black guys and i've realized that not only once does when i think im starting to make a bw friend and every-things going good between us, she finds out who im dating and she cuts me off completely. :cry:
I know this may sound weird but I've had women friends of all racesartyman: but i have never been friends with a black women like im serious not at all.... and if we are friends its always the Hi and Bye type of friendships.....don't laugh but im starting to really feel its me lol and im coming off to strong when i want to make friends with bw...........i feel this is very crucial because i plan on one day having kids and if i have a biracial daughter how can i relate to her if i cant even make one bw friend...you see my dilemma :smt085

 

This has probably has less to do with you as a person and more to do with your own personal norms. If you hang out in *cough* black circles you will probably make black female friends.

For example I am a hip hop head....but I am also a rocker. I went to Ozz Fest and TRUST ME ON THIS ONE....I didn't see one cat that looked like me.

I love Sports Bikes.....yes there are black bikers who ride........but go to an AMA race or MotoGP, not a brutha in site. It all depends on what you do and who you do it with.

e...and its cool. I don't do what I do to try to fit in or make friends but because it is something I enjoy. Nor have I ever gone out seeking acceptance...

..neither should you.

 

Curious why you used the "roll eyes" smilie to describe this website being a breath of fresh air?

Why tell us you have had women friends of all races..then contradict with that you have never been friends with a black woman?

Why on earth do you think that relating to your OWN future DAUGHTER (who'd be half white, btw and have a Black father who has female family members) has ANYTHING to do with making friends with a Black Woman? After all, you specifically stated that THEY DROP YOU ONCE THEY FIND OUT you dig brothas. Hardly a quality you'd want to teach your "biracial' daughter. Your post is so suspect.

 

woah i was just asking a question... i used the smiley because i thought it was cute and i was referring to the fact that i was offtopic which makes me all mixed up

i didnt see anything wrong with me saying i dont have any black women friends was a problem i just wanted to know if anybody had any bw bff's and how i could relate more to them because my bf says i act like im looking for a lesbian relationship with them thats why i scare them off

and if you must know his family is not to found of me so no theirs no relating their ok damn it was just a sincere honest question...shit i didnt know this was that kind of forum where you attack members for no reason like wtf!

 

I'm new here like you, lol...funny you responded to the reply that you say was attacking your and not to mine,....so maybe you enjoy a lil drama over a lil conversation.

I digress.

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying you have no black friends, but you make it seem as though the problem is with them and you are just an innocent by stander. "Oh Woe is me they don't like me" A lot of people whether black white or other want affirmation for what they feel, see, or believe....and the way your wrote your OP reeked of begging for others to jump on board.

My thoughts anyway.....

...I'm still getting used to the site and seeing how things run.

 

Ymra i really wasnt trying to sound like that at allim sorry if i hurt anybodies feelings i just wanted to know a few key things on how to make friends in this new area that i just moved too, and probably get a few tips from bw on how to take care of biracial hair little key things like that that are real important to being a good future mother ... and make some lasting friendships but like you said i need to put my big girl panties on and drop the woe is me attitude:cry::

i wont do it again ....i promise....are we friends now everybody:smt062: jk much love:smt060

 

Oy vei....

 

Its not an attack darling, its calling you out on your contradictions. Speaking of which, you said they run off because of your Black man, now it's because you come off like a homosexual?

I dunno, I think anyone who joins a site and this is their first post and thread, along with talking about having a man but has her vag almost showing...ah, never mind, now I'm digressing.

 

My final SUSPECT response to you....actually it's not for you, its for anyone reading to know that "taking care" of "biracial" hair is NOT real important to being a good future mother. Only people obsessed with hair say things like that. Hmmmm.

ps: And a Black woman wouldn't nec be the one to help you on that...a mother raising a bi-racial child would. But oddly, you don't seem to want to seek their friendship. Cheers, mate.

 

Precisely.

 

Seems like you are putting the cart before the horse. I mean you (an assumption from you posts) aren't even married nor do you even have children so the idea that you are loosing sleep over interracial children you don't even have yet is sort of funny.

I'm old school I guess, conditioned by the US and its history, but gawd if I don't loath "bi-racial"

...in any event. I think you should relax a bit and you be you. If you black women dont' want to be your friends SO THE HELL WHAT...who cares. It won't even any effect on how you grow your marriage or raise your children.

...with regards to them big girl panties...yeah...umm....lemme see.

 

back to your question, girl: honestly I've been introduced and I've talked to all races of girls too besides black girls. I don't know why, if it's because simply I didn't have a chance or they just didn't like me or if it's something about the fact we like black guys. I guess it happens

No.... I don't think you are a troll just because you created this thread

 

Back in college, I remember several occasions when whites girl in my dorm, class, whatever revealed that they dated black guys. All of my black girlfriends and I welcomed them with open arms and were usually like, "we knew you were cool for a reason". I'm still friends with a couple of them (the white women) to this day.

Anyway, maybe you're just trying too hard. Maybe you've convinced yourself that black women don't like you and the black women you encounter are simply a reflection of your conscious or subconscious beliefs.

Ever heard of "The Law of Attraction"?

 

Weird. I've had black female friends who knew I was into black guys mainly (but other guys as well if they're attractive and have a great personality). But I think it depends on you and the other person. Anyone who's a close minded asshole or bigot or something is gonna be like "fuck her" but if they're a cool person they should accept you for who you are if they want to be friends with you. So, if they don't like you because of that, who cares, they're not worth your time. I'm sure you will eventually find a black woman who has a lot in common with you and accepts you.

 

I suggest you just go with the flow baby. I never pursued a friendship with anybody so I can't relate to you on that. If I meet somebody and they're cool then I'm a fuck with them. If they not feeling me then fuck them. That's how you should carry it from now on. You don't need any black friends to be able to relate to your bi racial daughter. You going to be able to relate to her because you birthed and raised her. I got a biracial son but you won't see me going out my trying to befriend a Latino so I can understand my son better. I only date white women and Latinas and to keep it a 100 I don't give a fuck about befriending a white or Latino nigga.

 

I think you're trying a bit too hard, honey. I mean that in the least offensive way possible.
You already have good friends, right? Their race shouldn't be relevant. If these women don't want to be friends with you then don't waste your time on them. If these girls are honestly reluctant to be your friend because you're dating a black man, they wouldn't be good friends to have anyway. Some women are just bitches, regardless of race, you shouldn't feel the need to have to make friends with black women just because you're dating a black man. And I agree with the others, it's a bit soon to be talking about raising kids but regardless, if you have a daughter, she won't be a black woman, she will be a mixed race woman. It's important for her to know her history (the history of her parents) but you don't need black friends around you in order to raise your child well. You and your future baby daddy need to do that yourselves.

One of my best friends is black, she's never had an issue with me dating black or white or Asian guys. She dates black/white/asian guys too, even though her long term boyfriends have been black men. She isn't judgemental and is an honest, funny and kind girl, which is why we're good friends, not because she's black or because of her or my dating preferences. She does make fun of me for liking guys that are a little bit chavvy, and I make fun of her because every guy she's ever dated wears disgusting brogues. And that's how a friendship should be

 

I think you have a good heart so I want is best for you. Since I been on this website I have been really impressed with the quality of the women, they are beautiful, smart, funny and witty but, above all they are strong. They openly take a stand for something they believe in without regards to trying to please everyone, because all of them know that is not possible.

There is a certain woman on here that I adore she is one of the most beautiful women that I have ever seen. But what really draws me to her is that I sense her inner strength in her words, it just comes through she couldn't hide it if she wanted to.

Like her you, you stand for the idea that you are free to love any man you want. Therefore you also have an inner strength. You must embrace it.

That strength that you and most of the white females on this website have (especially those in the United States) is offensive to certain people (often black women). Why? Because they want to and need to be in control. When they give you and other white females dirty looks, make snide remarks or withhold friendships and kindness for dating black men they expect you to cry, run and hide. And when you don't cry, run and hide, you are challenging them and they do not like to be challenged.

It is not that they love black men (most really don't I'm afraid) it is their own ego and pride. They want white women and black men to say how high whenever they say jump. They actually have the arrogance to think that they can say 'don't date our men' and you won't because they believe you are weak. So when you don't comply they say you are a whore (the worst thing a woman can say about another).

You and some other WW keep dating black men anyway without their permission to do so. Many of them will not be friends with you because you are strong enough to make a decision and stand by it. If cannot respect you than why would you want them to confuse your child?

Now in regards to that unborn daughter, you may never have a daughter, the gender of a child is tied to the males genes. Just pray for a healthy child and leave it at that.

If you have a girl her hair texture may be anything. That is immaterial, besides I know white women who have bi-racial kids and they know how take of the hair just fine, trust your intelligence and you will be fine.

If you think you need a black woman around your daughter because you are white, why do you date black men?

Btw, please get married first. It is best for the children.

Next,Do you understand your man although he is black? If a white woman can understand her black man it would easy by comparison to understand her own daughter.

Now remember the first black President came from the womb of a white woman, she taught, loved, nurtured and raised a boy that would grow to be President. No white woman should doubt her ability to raise a bi-racial or black child. She did that at a time when interracial marriage was illegal in 19 states.

 

Where on God's green earth do you people live encountering black women with such ugly attitudes!?!?

Seriously, as a black woman myself, trust me when I tell you guys and gals that MOST black women could care less about black men dating white women. Not suggesting that they don't exist, but if you're having these experiences more often than not....

You guys should really try looking into the Law of Attraction....you attract what you are as well as the predominate thoughts you hold. What you look for, you find. Plain and simple.


ETA: All these sweeping generalizations are Killing me softly...

 

The Truth Is

There are a few things I could address:

1. If the black women where you live tend to view you as more of an antagonist and willingly showing off your loved one, they would take it as offensive and more than likely distant themselves from you. Given your testimony, I think they're the ones with the problems if they no longer communicate with you for that very reason.

2. Perhaps you should consider keeping casual and just move forward. Is this high school or college? If you're entering college, then surely things will evolve over time in terms of attitudes and acceptance. High school is merely the stepping stone for people to find themselves.

3. Don't feel intimidated at all. Just live your life accordingly.

 

Tried to rep you, Bo! Have to spread it around some.

What a great and thought provoking post! You truly appreciate WW and give us all wonderful support. Thanks for being in our corner.