Brothers: I have a couple of questions for you

The ability to have a real connection and recognizing your other could alleivate problems greatly

 

yeah even a BW would not be able to fully understand the complexities of being a man or a BM.

But what about the WW in the IR ? what about her issues ?

 

What is the point of this thread?????

 

go back and read. just like every other thread.

 

ok, got you - in reference to the man w the shooting.
I think if you shoot 8 people though - his problem is far beyond this discuss though but I do get what your after.

 

You post the same stupid, pointless, nonsense threads...

 

then stay out of them then. why waste your time and others with your ignorant noncontributing hypocritical ass.

 

yeah no doubt. he had issues. there was help needed for the dude.

 

Why would I contribute to garbage?

 

why are you here ? you are displaying stupidity at this time. If you dont like football why write the NFL commisioner and complain ? just dont watch it.

dumb ass.

 

I would like to point out that by posting you contribute.:smt043

 

LOL. he is such an ass. he has a glass house throwing rocks

 

em·pa·thy [em-puh-thee] –noun

the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner

In other words, just because I can't experience something that you can goodlove, does not mean that I cannot appreciate your experience, extend you empathy, support, love, and understanding. In simple terms, I don't have to break my own nose to know that if you break yours it hurts. A WW will never be able to understand what it feels like to experience racism as a BM, that does not mean she doesn't know it exists and that it's deplorable, nor that she's unable to empathize with him if that happens. We're human, humans have the ability to connect to one another, some choose not to, others do it phenomenally well. That's life.

As for the shooting specifically, I'm thinking connecting with a mental health professional was what that man needed. A supportive mate really was not likely to address his issues. At the point you start thinking murdering folks is a good idea, it's time for professional help, medication and possibly restraints, amateur empathy is not the way to go there.

 

well stated. I would say that if my woman was a ww and she came to me saying that she exepreinced a situation because of our IR that was hurtful then I would HOPE i can sit down and listen well enough to be comforting to her.

men have a tendency to want to solve it. Im like that all the time. I have heard women like that BUT most of the time yall just want us to listen.

Men are like that sometimes. we know the answer sometimes we just want to vent. sometimes thru venting we would find the answer and be able to solve it

 

In my experience women vent and just like someone to listen, men don't vent they want it fixed. I think the key is to know what the expectation is, and then act accordingly. I personally don't want anyone to fix anything for me, I'll handle that, I'm really unaccustomed to help and I'm the fixer in my family so everyone brings their problems to me. I also don't vent very often, it's just not me, I'm more the fume in silence type till I figure out the solution. So most likely were I to experience some type of anti-IR situation, he's not going to hear about it. I'll just deal with it and move on. Though I've never had an issue with anyone when I dated IR, so it would actually surprise me if I did at some point, I'm just not accustomed to people giving me crap about anything.

 

yeah I was wondering especially about the IR thang because I have read in other threads about problems. I also was pushing up on a ww who went to a HBCU and she stated she didnot want to do it again because of the hassles/pushbacks she experienced.

I didnt know what to say. so my thang is if I get into a IR then I need to know how to handle it.

Im a volcano. I will fume for a minute and then I vent. sometimes I do that. it depends

 

Co-sign and all that!

As for that Conneticut shooting individual.....that's precisely what he was..an *individual*...with his *own* individual hang-ups or whatever.


Things like that are a microcosm...and definitely *not* the 'Regular Order Of Things' in IR...or *any other* aspect of life..

'Nuff Said!!!!






























OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK

 

ok people we got the view from womens pov on how they would handle your prob's how would you handle theirs

 

yep, being called the N word doesnt do much nowadays when everyone uses it, so she can just support him and its done with.

every level except how it feels to be black, the deeper issues but Not all black women can help him either. some cant articulate how they feel well enough or some are so hurt they cant even sympathize

 

Speaking with 19+ years of IR marriage experience, I can say unequivocally that skin color is not a barrier to completely understanding your partner's experiences. All it takes is great communication, empathy, understanding, intelligence (history is always a great teacher) and a desire to really learn from, and teach your partner.