Men-Women Roles....what's your take?

Im fairly old-school, but todays work-world makes much of this impossible to do the way we want to and things just have to fall on the one that has more time, that day. imo.

I love to cook and bake and such, I cook all my meals, i rarely go out to restaurants and get fast food a couple of times a year.

Im nurturing by nature (I used to give my X massages and take care of his nails and stuff) but I also hate being taken for granted - thats when I dont like catering, if its expected and the man feels entitled to it.

So even though Im fairly oldshooled, and would naturally take care of my man and house - i detest the word "help" as in the man saying he can "help", its your house too, its not help, its your responsibility too. If I cant get to it, you should do it without being nagged etc.


I do all the work at my house since Im single so I can do pretty much anything that is needed, am handy with tools.
Would I do these "man choires" if I was married?
Yes, I would assume that naturally these things would be taken care of by the man in the house, but if he couldnt get to it, I should do it without whining.

 

First-off, madd-props to your momz.

Girlie, I think that's a very, very good question. I'll be completely honest and say 'no'.

For me, it's simply going against my nature. I'm a 'hunter/provider', that's what I'm wired to do. If circumstances forced that situation, then of course, I'll handle business and support wifey.

However, my strength is being a hunter...I'm piss-poor when it comes to nurturing. You can use business principles in the home - what I mean is I believe you take advantage of your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.

I'm a hunter/provider/disciplinarian/kinda-hard & militant. I need a woman who would counter that and balance the situation. Someone soft, nurturing, emotionally-supportive, etc.

I know my weaknesses and I would SUCK at being a stay-at-home dad.

Everyone may not agree, but that's what works for me.:smt023

 

lol my parents had the flip side of that deal, my mum did the books for my dads buisness, she paid all the household bills and my dad was given an allowance

for extra spends he did off the book jobs for mates

 

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean anything bad by what I said. I was just seeing what your take was on this issue. You're right. In this day and age, it's hard to have one person stay home, but if it's doable, I wanted to know what you thought about it. Well, I'd rather me or some family member raise my babies than some stranger as far as daycare is concerned.

 

yeah, I have to really screen a person because of the past.

exerience is an excellent teacher but you have to be an excellent student to get it.

My thing is that it is a partnership and everything must be done together. If you are on an allowance then Im on an allowance.

If a man is to be a leader in the home then he should be the first one submitting to the woman. a leader dont ask people to do something he will not do.

 

I never liked that concept. Treating your Wife as if she is a child.

 

LOL....

I think whatever works for a couple is what's best for them

 

:smt054Thank you my beautiful-buttercup! I'm in total agreement with you. I'd definitely want my wife looking after my children (AND ME!). The realities of our modern world make it difficult for families to survive on one income, but that's my intent.

I'm also perturbed by ANYONE who chooses to look down an a woman for staying home - I have great admiration for women who do that, especially in the face of misguided feminist who try to masculinate women.

I'm the man, it's my jobe to be the man. I can't be a woman, that's her job...and she can't be me. Keyword=BALANCE!

 

if she is on an allowance then you should be on allowance. that is part of a budget. again a leader should not ask someone to do something he would not do. that is rule number 1 in leadership/management

 

Well, given your past experience, I can see why you'd be overly cautious as one should.

I'm all for equality. I don't want anyone to feel lesser or more than.

I don't agree with that either, but some people do issue out an allowance for their spouse.

 

exactly. they should be a team. if they are on the same page then it should be ok. if one is better with money then let them handle it. it should not be any shame or a feeling of domination because you chose that person to work with. there should be a common goal for the family.

 

...A very sensible and well-thought response.

 

:smt058Will you marry me?

 

Thanks for the props to my mom. I think that she's a pretty special lady. In the winter time, my mom would go outside and warm-up my dad's truck for him before he left for work. It wasn't because he expected her to do it. She wanted to do it for him. She spoiled him rotten. I guess that's where I get my nurturing nature.

I appreciate your honesty on the stay-at-home dad question. It's not for everyone. I was just curious. I've actually had guys break up with me because they knew that I would make more than them financially. For whatever reasons, they couldn't handle it. It kind of sucks to be punished for being successful, but they had to do what they had to do. I can't apologize for who I am.

 

You're very welcome....

See, I like to be in the traditional role of a woman, but it's hard to do in these times. I take on the womanly thing as best I can and do what comes naturally. I think we can both take on different tasks in the household, but like you said, you're the hunter/provider and I'm the nurturer.

Yeah, my sister used to hear it a lot, but her daughters turned out to be two upstanding citizens, on the honor roll, college educated/graduate and just good women. Not saying this doesn't happen for women who work, I'm just stating what a great job my sister has done.

 

yep. cosign. Again sometimes people instinctly know what is to be done. the problem is that some people dont know how to relax and let the other take the lead . for example a person could be a better cook where both can cook. For some odd reason some women feel like that is their domain and step off no matter if the man is better. but it could be pride or just instinct. In what ever it happens pride gets in the way of progress and peace for the family and a lack of planning and execution

 

GL, you have a good point, but lemme play devil's-advocate. My cousing (male) prefers his wife to handle all of the finances - it's less stress for him - and they make good money. All he wants is a few dollars in his pocket (an allowance), and he's good to go. He knows the bills are paid and doesn't have to think about it.

Also, my previous boss's wife (stay-at-home mom) handles the finances...he's cool with that. He just wants to be kept in the loop.

Now when we mention a woman receiving an allowance, it's offensive. I think whatever works for that couple is what should be done. It's all about respect.

 

Absolutely!!!!!!! Im sure I get daily hair conditionings;-)

 

Exactly - TEAMWORK!

Shared responsibilities and KNOWING (and being okay with) your role/duties make a working and functional household.

 

:|I'm feeling really guilty right now...I've never broken-up with a woman because she earned more than me, but I'll be honest and say that it would trouble me.

Don't get me wrong, one part of me would be extremely proud and even stick my chest out!

The 'unspoken' part of me would feel a little inadequate, like I'm not man enough.

I know that sounds wrong family, please don't lambast me, I'm just being candid.

However, I would never break-up with you because you made more money than me, but we'd probably argue a lot when we go to dinner about who's paying the check and who's paying for the vacation. The 'man' in me would want to handle all of that.

....I have flaws too, don't hate me:sad: