Last Names and Marriage

Your identity is not determine by your name so this one isn't a good argument. I could call you je ba he haw and you would still have your same identity.

This is interesting because your dad probably did this to his wife. Isn't your mom's dad's name good enough and so on and so forth. You just defended the same thing that your dad did to your mom.

I say best 2 out of 3.
The first round is whoever asks first
second round is whoever buy the more expensive ring.
third round whoever pays for the wedding.
You got to work for it if you want it.

Men have left their names before so this isn't true. It is not a part of them. Are the men that left their name behind any less of person to you? In fact, my name has been changed what it is now. I have a cousin who has done it as well!

Here is a picture of William Jefferson Blythe III




You may better know him as William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton.
Living proof!
Are any of us less of a person because our names were change?

Women can also change it legally and keep going by the same name. I have seen women do it! This last section was very very bad of an argument.

 

I'm like a quasi-feminist. LOL.

I don't see any problem with a woman taking her husband's name when she gets married (I did it TWICE).

I really don't view it as giving up my identity. I joke around about my horribly bad last name, but I didn't lose that part of my identity when I changed my name. It's not like a woman changes her name and forsakes her entire past and family.

As it stands, I will probably end up using my current last name as my "stage name" were I to actually get my foot in the door in Hollywood, but if I do end up getting married again whilst my daughter is under 18, I'll probably hyphenate my name so that we still have the same last name.

 

I haven't read all the replies, but if I get married, I plan on hyphenating my name.

 

Inner beauty comes in for the WIN. I didn't even think about that.

 

I won something? LOL J/k

Well, I come from a traditional family where all the women have taken on the mens last name and even the newer brides have done the same thing. I have been my last name for so many years that its my identity, so I'd feel weird being Inner Ugly. LOL! I can be Inner Beauty Ugly. Then I don't take away that part of myself, yet I include my husband.

 

Well I was basically watching a tv show which gave me only one opinion. I asked to figure out which was more likely to happen and get opinions as well as give. I also got the hyphen which I completely forgot about. That's a win. I don't know why that slipped my mind.

I actually think it is who ever puts in the most work. There are a lot of women that put in effort to get married. They should get to keep their name and the guy changes his. If you got to ask and buy the wings and pay for the wedding then the least one can do is give up their name legally or even hyphen it. We aren't talking about not using your last name forever. You can use it on the job or where ever else.

 

Do the kids (if you plan to have any) get a hyphenated last name? Also, if you receive an invitation to a ball will it be addressed to "Mr and Mrs Jones" or "Mr Jones and Mrs Jones-Beauty"?

I don't know, to me for a woman not taking the last name seems like they are not fully committed to the whole marriage and family thing. Like you're holding back a little.

 

At this point in time, I'm starting to give up on hope of being married. I never thought I'd ever live a day to say that. So, even if I don't get married, I still want a baby/babies. I hope I'm blessed with kids.

The thing is, my brother isn't having kids and my uncle (my fathers half brother), also has a son, but we don't interact with them, so basically it's like they're not even family, so a part of me wants to help my father carry on the name, yet I don't want the kids to be confused with so many names. I'm a little torn by this.

I think if we receive an invitation, it doesn't have to be all technical with the hyphenation. I'd still be Mrs. Jones (hey Nas!..lol) regardless.

I don't think I'd be half married and not fully committed to him cause I didn't take on his name fully. I could see me not taking on his last name at all being a big issue (my cousins wife did this).

 

I know this can be an issue for women. Hell, it is easy for me to find my high school and college buddies on facebook, but a lot of the women I'll never find because they changed their last name.

Some other ways of preserving the family name: One of my kid's first names is my wife's maiden name. All of my daughters have their maternal grandmothers first name as their middle name.

Oh, and I have no doubt IB that you will get married to a great man who loves you to death and respects you too, and he will want you to have his last name.

 

I had that exact trouble when researching a lot of women in my family tree and in my mothers culture, they name the same name as their relatives. My cousin has the exact same first and last name as my grandmother and I have my grandmothers name as my middle. I found SO many people with the exact same name that I didn't know who was the grandfather or who was the grandson and same for the women.

If I have a daughter, she will have my moms name as her middle and if I have a son, I wanted to hyphenate my pops and brothers names to pay homage to them. I hope the father will be open to this and if not, we'll have to come to some agreement...lol

Thank you for your kind words, but I'm just being realistic. Dudes I meet don't even want a girlfriend, let alone get married. I'm still holding out though, yet my clock is ticking really hard.

 

Of course.

 

Besides the fact that I don't want my legal name all over things like Facebook and Myspace, I kept my maiden name on my Facebook so it would be easier for people I've lost contact with over the years to find me. I've been friended by a ton of college and HS people that wouldn't have found me otherwise.

I have a friend who has her married name only on her Facebook. Why she does it that way, is beyond me.

 

Never changed, never would. When I got married, my ex asked me to change my name, and when I asked why he said "Well, it'll be easier if we both have the same name." So I said "Great, good point, why don't you change YOUR name (which is a PITA to do logistically btw)?"

His mouth dropped open and he said "WHY would I want to do that????" I answered "Precisely." That was the end of the discussion.

Tam, you can always use your original name professionally and change your name for personal reasons. I knew a lot of women in business who did that.

I also have a friend on her third marriage. After her two divorces, she had all kinds of trouble going back to her single name. When she married for the third time she said "Fuck it" and kept her own name. That marriage is WAY solider than the other two, interestingly and absolutely non-related!

 

I am my own person, I've lived a life under this name. It's who I am. It's part of my identity just as much as my appearance or any other part of me. It shows respect for that life and for that identity for a guy to understand that. If he didn't respect my life, why the hell would I marry him?

TONS of women keep their own names now.

I also have a step sister who hyphenated her last name, and when their kids were born the two children were given a combination last name, both hers and her husbands without the hyphen. Sorta like she became Wood-Glass, and the kids are Woodglass (and yes the two actual names *are* that unfortunate together)

 

And this is what is called "wanting it both ways."

Where would women be if men questioned getting married as hard as you're questioning taking a man's name? Marriage does way more for you than us.

But this is consistent with somebody who wants to fuck a guy with a strap-on.

 

ROFLMAO, that's why single women and married men live longer, right? Marriage does not do more for women than men.

You guys who treat a partnership as some sort of barter exchange program make me laugh. It's no fucking wonder you aren't happily married or paired.

Why does anyone have to give up their name? What's the point? It's a "tradition?" So was slavery at one point. Traditions, thankfully can change.

You guys want the kind of hot independent women you claim to want, you better believe some of them come with and are keeping their own names and identities.

 

As far as you know.

In case of divorce, why should a woman get half? What's the point? Even if they didn't help make it? Ah, traditions.

 

Women changing their name upon marriage is a pretty serious form of gender discrimination, in my view. The practice began when women were thought to be incapable of acting on their own behalf. It was a way to signal which man was responsible for her - first her father, then her husband. Even now that women are recognized as being competent adults, it's still a relinquishing of her own identity without (in most cases) a corresponding change on her new spouse's side.

I would never, ever, ever change my name. I have a name already and I don't need another.

 

You might want to check your facts - in my state, at least, spouses are entitled to an equitable share (not necessarily half) of marital property, which is generally stuff that was either acquired or appreciated in value over the course of the marriage.

Nerdy Girl, Esq.