the BRO rules to live by. Inspired by Barney Stinson. have fun !

The Bro rules to live by as inpired by Barney Stinson and the book Bro on the go

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General Life Rule:
Bro's before ho's

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Bros on a date:

* you are not obligated to open a door for a woman...especially after they insisted on having a woman's MMA tournament.

* Buzz words/phrases to use on a date
1) I have a job with benefits
2) " Really " say this while nodding your head. this give the illusion you are paying attention and you are interested in what she is saying.

* Buzz words/phrases that will keep you assexual
1) My mommy
2) My favorite video game, comic book and manga
3) anything that has to do with sci-fi...IE I watch star trek, star wars or I go to the star trek, star wars convention...these dont apply if she is wearing spock ears on the date.

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[COLOR="DarkOrange"]Bro's behind the wheel [/COLOR]

*dont admit you can drive a stick until after the accident

*dont ask dont tell apply when its time to roll down the windows after coming from taco bell

*going dukes of hazzard thru the window is always accepted at any time.
going starsky and hutch across the hood of the car is always accepted at anytime.(anytime means even when you are at church, funeral, the synagogue or on a date)

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at the crib

* throw pillows for the sofa are a no-no
* owning a cat is a no-no
* a dog must be at least knee high.
* adult channel is a must. it is to be preset when turning on the TV. nio matter what (please note: when watching a porn it is unacceptable to watch with another bro.Under no circumstances this rule is to be amended)
* more than 2 bed pillows is a no-no

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at the movies

*bros dont go with other bros to the movies after the 5:00 showings.
*bros dont share a tub of popcorn. a BIG NO-NO
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strip clubs

* IT IS TRICKIN' even if you got it
* its not cool to tell the bouncer your fellow bro is groping girls but we will let it slide because it is funny.

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at the game

* baseball caps are to worn at the 6:00 or the 12:00 positiopn unless the following:

1) you are a rapper
2) gangster
3) handicapped

* 2 points are given if the jumbotron is on you and you indicate your team is number one with the index finger despite the fact you are wear a detriot lions football jersey.

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at the club

*never dance with your hands above your head

*dont take a date to the club

*there is only one dance move to perform: the step to the left and back to the right.

macking bro's dont dance
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at the gym

*no prolong convos in the shower room

*when around women think baseball so no one will see that you are interested in the girl on the treadmill

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bros attire

*never wear sox with sandals

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bro's in the bathroom

*shake it once...more than that you are masturbating

*no talking is allowed

*keep your eyes on the road

*its ok to take reading material

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Thanks for your assistance if you want to add or amend.

these rules are for your safety and well being. thanks and have a good day.

May the Bros live a blithe life

 

I love the show "How I met your mother"

 

I have broken so many of these rules. They are just nonsense.

 

Yeah Its a great show. when I saw the book , I thought it would be great to post some of the crazy stuff they were talking about in the book. Of course I tersed most of it and added some stuff that I thought would be funny myself.

I hope some more people would think of some funny bro rules that would be great to read.

 

you too huh. LOL

 

Which ones?? :smt042

 

correction: should be dont admit you can't drive a stick until after the accident

 

The only funny dude on that show is doogie howser...

 

hell yeah. he is the joint. I wish the black TV producers and audiences make and watch shows like that.

we had good shows like the one taye diggs had (the black community (BC) threw him under the bus because the BC was color struck) , everyone hates chris , the one with wayan's dude where he had a family that had the dumb son, girl friends , living single ect...

 

*bros dont go with other bros to the movies after the 5:00 showings.

I think we usually arrive before 5 but we have stayed longer than 5pm.

I also have broken the shake once rule. I shake as many times as it takes to make sure that there aren't any suprises.

 

1) as long as you are gone before the next showing

2) LOL. Understandable. You dont want to come out the bathroom going thru the resteraunt with swagger and you have a dab of a spot at your zipper suggesting you cant control yourself.

 

also arch we dont want to catch you with your eyes curling to the back of your head then that is a dead give away you were masturbating.