Ladies, do you care if his best friend is a woman?

Let's say your husband or boyfriend's best friend is another woman.

Do you care?

 

Yep.

 

Nope, as long as he isn't screwing her. I personally think that only works well in a few situations, because almost every woman I've known that was a man's 'best friend' had more serious feelings for him, and therefore resented the girl friend or wife. But I still don't care who he's friends with, if the relationship is good then there's no need for me to worry. If he's going to develop feelings for her that interfere with the relationship, then that means something's not right with the relationship and that needs to be addressed.

 

I'm currently in the role of being the best friend to a guy who has a girlfriend. She's fine with it. Maybe because I'm so much older than both of them, who knows.

As for me? I'd have to see how they act around each other....but usually it's something that I wouldn't be concerned about.

 

The vast majority of my friend have been men - and I never, ever had any romantic feelings for any of them - not even a smidge.
In some cases it has been an issue for GF's and in some cases not.

I think its a case to case basis.

If my bf had a woman friend, and they had a longstanding relationship, I see no problem with it.. I think you feel their chemistry fairly easily.

 

I wouldn't expect that to be a problem for you FG, but you are not the average woman sweetie. The majority of good friends I've had also were men, and I didn't feel romantically inclined to them either. I really don't think it's a problem unless the gf/wife or the best friend openly try to undermine each other.

 

Agree,

I think one has to be open-minded and sensitive to the needs and feelings of everybody involved.
I think if the SO has issues, then that must be taken into account and it might be the end of a long friendship.
I respect that.

 

A lot of the ladies are better than me. I know I wouldn't be ok if my g/f had a man for a best friend unless it was me. I have gotten jealous at an ex g/f. My instincts were right though about the guy. I thought he was trying to make a move. The funny thing is she hated the guy. lol so yea, you should trust your lover to do the right thing even if other people won't do the right thing. .

 

I got a question for you. How would you know if he is screwing her if he hides it successfully? You wouldn't have any doubts? not one smudge of doubt that he might be screwing her?

 

First off, I'm not going to be in a relationship with a man I don't trust. Like FG said, there would likely be signs, especially if you knew him as well as you should. I think you'd pick up on them. I was in a 6 year relationship with someone who cheated and I knew the instant he started, though it took me a bit to catch him red handed. Subtle changes in behavior, and just a gut feeling I had tipped me off. I guess my thoughts are that if I trust him as I should be able to, then I have nothing to worry about. If he's attracted to someone else enough to screw her, then I don't want him anyway. Either way there's a solution, so worrying about it is useless.

 

reminds me of that scene in when harry met sally

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.


me i wouldn't have a problem with it because relationships are based on trust, so obviously i would trust my man...i have male friends and wouldn't give them up for anything.

 

This is true but he can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.

 

I have way more male friends than female friends and I wouldn't give them up for anything either. It's a trust thing, and my SO will just have to trust the fact that I see these men only as friends.

 

I think everyone can be fooled but I do agree that there are signs.

 

Yes I'm sure some people are really good at hiding what they don't want discovered. But honestly most of the people I know who've been cheated on realize there were signs that they just didn't consciously acknowledge. Hindsight is 20/20, and there are some people who prefer to fool themselves rather than deal with the unpleasant truth.

 

LOL
The guy's best friend is a female???

This man is gay right?

(Not that there is anything wrong with that)

 

I believe that. I think women can be friends with men without being attracted to them. But I don't know about men that way, I'm sexist now, heh. The way I look at it, there's a 50/50 chance. And trusting someone doesn't mean they're going to act accordingly. I would still care, but it depends on so many different factors as well over how much and how I care.

 

who?

 

what?

 

where?