is it genetically impossible to be faithful to one person

What a ridiculous post and thread. Of course it is, people who ask these types of questions are weak minded and need an excuse for their actions.

I'm not going to get super religious in here, but I think by our very existence and divine design, we are not only able, but meant to be faithful to one person. My opinion.

 

Im sure there are alot of people who will disagree with you that people are not disciplined enough to be faithful. there have been plenty of people posting that support that statement.

asking a question does not show any inclination of weakness. it is the one that assumes that would be the idiot

 

I believe it was one of the biggest pile of hogwash known to man. When I was in a relationship with a Japanese woman overseas, and I was here in the states and she was in Japan, we would go well over 6-8 months without seeing each other and never had I had any intentions nor the thought even crossing my mind of having a relationship with someone else. But alas, I would say my upbringing pay a huge role on this. I was raised by my two Caucasian sisters (I'm adopted.)
and they taught me almost everything I know today. As such, I would definitely place myself in the nice guy category. (I know, nice guys finish lasts, whatever.) In any case, I remember the days when one of my older sister who I'm very close to would come home crying because her boyfriend cheated on her. I remember the pain she would go through, and how it struck a cord in my heart. Not only did I have to beat the living daylights out of the culprit, but it
was an everlasting lesson of the pain a women could go through by cheating, and that's something I would never want to place on anybody. So it shocks people, especially when they find out that I have so many female friends, that
I have such loyal attachment to my partner. In the end, it comes down to morals and principles, and even when your drunk to where the world is spinning, at the end of the day, it's our morals that will guide you.

 

Kudos to lillhawk and babybro to recognize its a concious decission and not some genetic flaw.

 

absolutely...!!! can i have an amen...!!! :smt083

 

Wow...good for you

 

That's such a blanketed statement. I think where you're at in your life and how attractive you are plays a huge role. It's easy to be faithful when other options never prevent themselves.

 

:smt042
oh lawd - Andrae- luv - now you stepped in it...

That reminds me of an old woman that I worked for when I was in my early 20s. SHe said to me:
"its awful to get old and ugly if you are beautiful... I was beautiful, ugly people, it doesnt matter for - they were ugly to begin with"
something of that sort...

 

And it's just as easy to remain faithful if they do Andrae. It depends upon your personality, the strength of your relationship, your moral conviction, etc. Lots of different things factor in, but it all boils down to the fact that human beings have the ability to choose to control their impulses. I agree that some people find monogamy more difficult than others, but we all have a choice to indulge those impulses or not.

 

Thats not only a blanket statement, but feeble minded thinking.

For an example, When I was broke in college, the option to steal presented it self. I didn't then, nor would I now, and I remain faithful to those moral convictions that do not allow me to do so no matter how shinny or expensive looking the toy.

Same with women and relationships. The "point in your life" and "how attractive you are" is a bad excuse. Millions of "beautifully attractive people have never stepped out on their significant others. Your linchpin reasons just don't make since to me.

 

WOW!
You impressed the H out of me with that analgy - well spoken!!!
Rep coming.
:smt060

 

First off what I said wasn't feeble minded it was logical. If opportunity continously presents itself it is only a matter of time before one indulges in opportunity. I said when you are attractive I never said beautiful because that's subjective. An attractive person attracts attention and because of this attention they attract far more attention then an unattractive person. For example if you're a homebody whose job is to be a night watchman at a museum at night chances are you aren't faced with the temptation a person working as a photographer in Miami. As far as your horse shit stealing analogy, given enough time you would have stolen if needed be. Your biological imperative always wins whether we want to believe it or not.
People are usually as faithful as their option and again it really depends where you are in your life. If you're a man or woman who has experienced their fair share of sexual partners and are more focused on career then I think it's very possible to be faithful.
I forgot one more thing. You don't know millions of people so that statement is unsupportable bullshit. Good try. I know the women will cosign what you say and that's their right but nothing I say is ever feeble minded fam.

 

Sorry babe, but that's not correct. You can be presented with the opportunity over and over again, and if you believe it morally wrong to cheat, you won't cheat. Some people's moral conviction, or will power, can overcome any amount of temptation.

 

I'm really sad that you're so easily impressed

 

Its not about being easily impressed - I KNOW for a fact that it works like that - IF you make a darn effing effort to do so.. its up to you. Period.
If you dont want to - then fine, thats cool. But dont blame temptation and chalk it upto your flawed genes.... if you fall to temptation, its due to your "flawed" morals and dicipline.

I like ya, you know that - but your view on this issue is truly sad.
Its not a matter of time until you give in (just that sentence makes me retch).
Thats bogus - its a concious decission YOU make - and I acctually feel sorry for you if that is what you believe in.

Everybody dont fall for temptations and its sad you hold yourself and others to that low a standard

Granted, having said that - I have no problem with people NOT wanting to be faithful to one person (as long as they are transparent about it), none at all - just dont blame it on bogus excuses.

 

Yeah until you do. Again its easy for some of us to say that more than others. A man who lives in this country has less of a chance of needing to kill for survival opposed to a man in the Congo. No matter what his convictions his biological imperative usually wins out. Like I for one don't cheat I think its dishonest and hurtful but one of the ways I keep myself from doing that is constant masberation. As long as the poison is out of my system I can think clearly and I satisfy my biological impulse to release my sperm.

 

Dude, beauty and attractiveness are BOTH subjective and run hand in glove first of all. Secondly no, you are carelessly generalizing human condition on account of lack of will power and/or morality. Indulgence is very different than necessity. Seeing other women because you have the opportunity to (even if you are a museum guard or whatever other BS position you wanna throw in there,) is based on reckless selfishness which is a matter of will power and heartfelt desire to remain faithful.

Something that would be necessary would be say, stealing food because you are starving to death and in a dire situation, that would not qualify itself as indulgence, though it is still morally wrong.

If you really feel this way, I suggest you get your priorities straight before you hurt some young lady because you couldn't help "indulging yourself" based on your frequent opportunities to do so.

 

Well FG my affection for you is mutual but I don't agree. I'm all about numbers. When so many people do it says to me its not as simple as wll power. People here don't murder and steal as much as they do in other countries like the Sudan or Colombia because or need for food and basic safety is essentially met and when they aren't you see criminals popping up. I think that fidelity works the same way. I'm not saying cheating is imperative but I'm beginning to think having multiple partners is.

 

Hmm... well I understand your reasoning for your unique approach, and so I'm not going to comment on that here. But I will say from personal experience that I strongly believe that cheating is wrong, and I would not do it. I have had the opportunity more than once, and had I not been married I would have absolutely jumped at it. However, I was married, very unhappily so, but I still couldn't do it. It's not that it was someone I wasn't attracted to, it's that being married I just knew everyone else was off limits, so my mind didn't even need to weigh the options, it was an immediate and emphatic 'no'. I'm currently still legally married, and though the divorce has taken almost a year already and isn't likely to be finished for several more months, I couldn't date anyone until it is. It's just wrong in my mind, it goes against my personal moral convictions, and is still adultery in my eyes. I have no issue with anyone else dating or doing whatever they like while separated and divorcing, but it's just not right for me personally. I assure you now, it's very tempting, but I still couldn't do it.

 

Dial back the insults douche bag and being attractive is not the same as beautiful. There are plenty of people "millions" who attract people with charm or financial position and because of this are very noticeable. I admittidly read your post wrong I thought you wrote skinny instead of shinny. Easy mistake my apologies. But my main point is opportunity is everything we would all love to say what we THINK we wouldn't do but you have no clue until we're in the situation and I can admitt that.