why do women chase players

Well, Iggy, everyone has their limits that they're willing to deal with. Apparently, short of your girl being Kim Kardashian (or maybe she's too thick for you..how about Kate Moss?) in a convent, she's not good enough for you.

Besides, you are flat out assuming that a women with those kind of numbers would even TELL you...because honestly? It's not your business. It doesn't matter if she's your girlfriend or your wife- what happened before you is none of your business. So, you could end up marrying a woman who's slept with 300 people, and you'd never know because she'd NEVER tell you, and you'd think she was only with '10' her entire life. Just the way things are. Women aren't allowed to be sexual, and we know this when it comes to men, so we fudge numbers faster than a tobacco company covering up lung cancer death.

It's the same thing with men. A lot of 'players' are very smooth, charming, articulate individuals. My ex was an example of one of those men. They are just SO good at hiding who they really are, that you tend to overlook the little red flags because they've given you the image they want you to have so they can get away with it.

With me? We were together for a year, and were making plans to go ring shopping. Suddenly, he left a note on my car saying he couldn't do it anymore and had a huge anxiety attack. When we talked later it was 'my anxiety is ruining my life, and I have to take control so I can make you happy.' A month after that it was 'Just wanted to update you so you know I'm working on things. I want to deserve you. I'm going to fight for you.' That was December. A month ago, I find out he was car shopping with his current GF and their three month old baby.

We broke up in October.

Ah well. Such is life. Point is, I didn't know...no one else who met him knew, he was just THAT good. We don't necessarily go chasing after players, they just end up with us sometimes.

 

I agreed with you on everything except for the fudging numbers thing. I think something is my business the minute we discuss it. Whether your with 30 men or 300 men doesn't matter but if you lie and I find out there's no coming back. I feel like I'm too old for all that insecurity shit and if you have a problem I'm sure you're aware so get therapy.

 

We're not talking about men right now, focus.

 

LOL. get em str8 dog

 

I agree with you on this, if it's brought up I expect the flat out truth, regardless of what that is. I don't lie, so I'm not going to put up with that from someone else.

 

Is there anything we don't agree on :-D

 

Not much actually, but on occasion you do make me raise a brow at something you say.

 

there is no fun when you have ice cream all the time. eat a couple of hot dogs to change things up a bit . lol

i guess you can tell im hungry

 

im not a player i just crush a lot...

 

Actually.

I'm just being honest.

And yes, maybe that is what you want to hear, but more so, that's what I want to do.

 

Oh, you know me - I had to get that in - I had fun, what can I say8)

 

Point is, why would you even ask unless it was clearly an issue that you had? In my experience, only men who are insecure about numbers are the ones who ask. That would send up a red flag in my book as it was. And there's always the double standard to consider- a woman is called a 'slut' versus a man who is called a 'player' and generally respected for it.

And the second you asked, any woman worth her salt should say 'I don't think that is really relevant to us, and besides, I should be able to keep some things to myself, don't you think?'

 

bam !!

 

I think some people are just more curious about everything Dreaming. I'm like that, not to mention I like the idea of having no secrets. It wouldn't bother me in the least if a man I was involved with asked, and I would have no issue telling him truthfully.

 

There is just so much wrong stuff in this post I dont even know where to start lol.

I'll start with what I highlighted. The whole "the past is the past" thing is normally used by people with TONS of baggage. What if they are an ex-con? That wouldnt bother you if a guy murdered or raped someone?
"Ahh come on babydoll, I raped that girl like 8 years ago. Thats all in the past. Why you trippin baby?"

And I have no problem with women being sexual. Your claims that women arent allowed to be sexual is straight up BS. Shows like Sex in the City encourage women young and old to go out there and get that dick.
I do think that if a girl had 200 sexual partners in ONE FREAKIN YEAR its pretty much safe to say that she is a bigtime slut. I mean, that is straight up nasty. Her pussy probably resembles an Arbys roastbeef sandwich:smt078

 

Yeah I agree you should keep some stuff to yourself but let's say I had a partner who was raped which I've had, id prefer to know. Not to be nosey but its better to know than not to if you're dating long term. I also think that the right person won't care. I honestly feel that for the right woman most things can be overlooked. If she meets my intellectual physical and emotional needs I think I can deal with anything outside of a terminal disease or habitual lying.

 

Something like rape, andrae shouldn't be asked. You should be waiting for her to volunteer that information. There's nothing more violating than being asked probing questions like that if you have been raped before you are willing to share it.

 

Things like murder and rape- well, that usually should be cleared with the 'have you ever been arrested?" not "So, how many sexual partners have you had, cupcake?"

And Iggy, you make these assumptions about what a women who's been with a lot of men looks like. Sexism and the double standard at it's best. I think you're just more worried she'll be able to compare you to her vast library of past lovers and find that you don't measure up...

 

Did I not say that women who are worth their salt wise up to it quick smart and move on to better men? How convenient that you didn't quote that part...

 

Hmm, well there was these fellows who made some rather interesting and somewhat convincing arguments about this issue over at Sandra Bullocks IMDB forum. Here is a couple of quotes from their arguments.

There is like 25 pages worth of a few individuals laying waste to the competition regarding this article.

You can find the thread here.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000113/board/flat/159866336?p=1