Are men intimidated by smart women?

YES, men are intimidated by smart women...case in point ANDRAE...when he gets frustrated and things are going his way...when someone isn't gushing all over him with affirmations and trying to make himself feel better about his insecurities...this is what he does...who is the child?

for someone that posts 18 times a day and has already hit over 3000 posts...lippy thinks she hit it with her last post and now andrae has his panties in a twist...i will not pander to you or anyone else on this forum...that job is done so well by others that i am afraid i would pale in comparison

lippy is not shaken by being told "fuck you" or your a "moron" ....please, is that all you've got...no you wouldn't make a good lawyer...you would be constantly asking the judge, did i do that right...did i make a good point...am i going to win...pick me...pick me...and when you lose instead of walking out of the courtroom with your head held high...you will be saying "fuck you" to the opposing lawyer...cry me a fucking river...you grow up!

 

I did not know this (not that I should), your stock just shot up tremendously in my index, you are one hot mother. *said in the most non-stslkerish, creepy manner possible*

 

You assume most of us would rather have a partner than be alone. My plan if I do not meet a man in the next five years:

1) Buy an RV.

2) Buy an Earthship (of www.earthship.org ). It'll cost me about 90-100k to finish it just the way I want for a studio with a loft. 100% green and off the grid.

3) Continue education from LPN to RN at the very least, may have to wait on the NP.

This means in the next 5 years, I'll need about $135k and all my time. And yes, to give up all those dreams, the guy would have to be pretty spectacular. Not saying no man is worth it; that's absurd. But why would I lower my standards when I can have a really great single life? I have good friends and family. I'm hardly alone in the world.

That doesn't mean companionship isn't nice, but it's pretty low on the priority list.

 

Awwww thank you. It means a lot, really. I've mentioned it a few times but recently I try (and fail) not to talk about personal things TOO much.

(PS. not creepy or stalkerish at all.)

 

Andrae, Lippy really pointed out something you should think about.
Women in their 20 do not get more attention than women in the 30s. That makes absolutely no sense.You are really off track on your logic on this one.


I wager to say that in general women between 25-35 end up in the same category... then as lippy said as there are men the same ages as women, when they get older, they still get attention. Men dont suddenly die at 30:-D
Of course there is a decline in attention, but that does not occur at 30.


Also your note about women in their 20 being more out and about more?? That is not true for many reasons. Money being one, you probably see more early 30s women out than anything. You just simply dont know what age many women are when you see them many times, you might just asssume they are in their 20s. Have you thought of that?

I find it interresting that you have such strong feelings about women in their 50s that can not be attractive - some of them have been posted here - sure, its not everyone, but there are women in ther 50s and 60s that many men would happily "do" ,with gusto!!.
You are so focused on some sort of expiration date on women (I know you deny it, but you have gone there on numerous occations), I find it amusing - Ill give you time - say 5 years, youll see it a bit different... your age limit will move up.
I also had the same focus on people in their 20s when I was in my 20s. and then I realized I was wrong.

I would LOVE to be your wing man:smt023

 

It depends where you go as well. The thing is I think there are more single people in the under 25's range. After that people tend to get into serious relationships and get married (speaking generally of course) so there are less single men and women - less men in that age range trying to pull a smaller number of women (that makes sense right?). Well that's kinda how I view it anyway. Plus, if you're talking about getting hit on in clubs, well... I'm gonna hope by my 30's I've grown out of clubbing all the time.

Are you thinking that some women don't go for younger guys too though? Hell we have our own cougar club here so obviously there are guys out there who love a lady with some experience in life, love and all that.

FG is right on the age thing, look at her, there's no way I'd have thought she was in her 40's from her pics. So many people don't "look" their age.

 

then what do you mean just settle with ? the problem with single,independent and successful women who intimidates men means they are assholes.

perfect example, I have a degree in accounting but I was an underwriter at an insurance company. I had to leave because I became ill. once I gotten better i started working at a book store. so i started talking to this fine as all get out sista with her child . we talked about G-d and what not. so I stepped up and stated lets get together for some coffee and talk.

she relpied ( this is word for word how it came out) " Im a doctor"

I relpied " so ! I have a degree in accounting with a 3.12 gpa but I just hit this skids for a sec. so what you being a doctor and Im being a book pusher has to do with anything"

She replied " oh ...Im meant I have to be careful I have an 8 year old and I just gotten a divorce a couple of years ago.. blah blah blah" she started dancing like MC Hammer around the issues of the reality.

I dont buy into the men are intimidated by successful women excuse. women now a days have played themselves and all the "GOOD" men are gone.

The successful women who have a man were the ones arent hung up on status. They are the ones who date men who are producing a paycheck but the men are also being loyal and dedicated. A lot of indpendent women cannot appreciate a man like that because they think he is weak thus they will try to dominate instead of to appreciate. I have heard men say women turned me down because Im a teacher or a plumber or the like.

we really need to ask women what they perceive as a good man. read a book called the denzel principle. The excerpt is as follows:


The Denzel Principle:

People talk shit, but numbers don’t lie. According to smart white folks who know, two-thirds of all black marriages end in divorce, creating whole neighborhoods of single-parent families, usually headed by single mothers. This statistic really reflects less on black men and more on black women and their inability to make good choices. And it also precipitates the reason why many black women are looking for a man to be the father they never knew. They don’t know him well or have never met him, yet expect their prospective mate to be everything the little girl in them imagines him to be. No man alive can mea sure up to those expectations. It’s hard enough just being a stand-up cat in a world where nice guys finish last and assholes get all the pussy. But it doesn’t really matter, because women will make a good brother go bad. Because when they meet a good man, they don’t really know how to treat him.

See, a lot of sisters had no father growing up; they’ve spent their lives listening to their mothers argue with their fathers, talking down on that "no-good nigga," disrespecting anyone with a penis and simultaneously running boyfriends with expensive cars through her bedroom like she’s a top barber giving half-price cuts. Consequently, years down the road, the daughter wonders why, after all the loud talking, acting out, and bad-mouthing, she can’t keep a man in her unkempt house. Fuck it, she says. Her moms laid the groundwork for her daughter’s life of unhappiness simply by being a bad role model. Common sense suggests you treat people how you want to be treated, but it’s too easy for women to be like their mothers: angry and single.

Many of them have money of their own, but would rather use their pussy like a credit-card swiper to pay the bills. Not that they’re gold diggers, but they are motivated by money. This may sound a lot like just choosing a mate with superior qualifications, but in practical terms, it’s as if some women’s affection and time can be bought. Most brothers can read that game from the curb, and they know how to play it on the cheap. They run the chick to the Waffle House, the motel, and leave her cab fare on the dresser. Then she’s sitting there, talking about "that’s cold." It’s the man’s fault he didn’t hang out long enough for her to cash in. She turns to her girlfriends asking for advice, and they tell her to hold out for the gold-plated Mandingo pulling up in a Bentley with a trunk of Godiva chocolate to sweep her off on holiday to the Poconos. On her deathbed, she’ll still be waiting.

Black women say they have trouble finding the right guy, but the truth is some of them manage to find a new one every night, and word gets around. Or they find great guys—legitimately good brothers with jobs, benefits, and all their own teeth—and stay happy for about fifteen minutes. Then they wear them out emotionally (rarely sexually), get bored, step out of the relationship, and throw the proverbial dice in hopes of an upgrade. This becomes routine, and they end up spending their golden years with 50 cats and 150 ceramic collectables, trying to lure the mailman inside with a plate of food.

Now, men get a lot of the blame for destroying the black family because conventional wisdom suggests they spend all their time beating up women, shooting dice late into the night, stealing watermelon from Ofay the Farmer and being generally useless and unmarriageable. And let’s be honest: there are a lot of brothers out there fucking up, but not nearly as many as you think. Normally, those brothers wear their crazy on their sleeves. You can see—and oftentimes smell them—from the curb. Women tend to mask their crazy with lipstick, perfume, Apple Bottoms jeans, and such. Men aren’t as smart as women about these kinds of things, and often don’t know what they’re getting into.

That said, the thing is I know brothers aren’t responsible for the high divorce rate because we aren’t that particular. Men are not complicated creatures and don’t ask for much. All we want is a woman to work, cook, clean, and maybe give up a lil anal on our birthday. Sisters think they aren’t asking for the world by just looking for a man to meet their minimum standards. But their minimum is either the bare minimum or over the top. I know, because I see it all the time: black women jumping from knucklehead to knucklehead, chump to chump, hoping to get it right next time by consistently choosing from the bottom. They are in the Internet chat rooms, wearing tight dresses to Big Butt Nite at Da Club, and outside penitentiary gates on parole day waiting to pounce on anything with a pulse.

THIS JUST IN:

There is a movement building on the Internet just for women who like to date incarcerated and fresh-out-the-joint-type brothers. Women meet these guys, trying to help the penal system rehabilitate them, hoping to rebuild a man from the ground up. Not that convicts aren’t viable mates, but you can’t meet anyone at the coffee house, so you start trolling the prisons for husband material? What the hairy hot fuck is that about? Oh. Probably just a hairy, hot fuck. Jesus Christ on a saltine, that’s fucking stupid. But some women are so desperate for a man they can mold and control, it’s come to that. Holy shit.

Then there is the other extreme: sisters going out in search of Mr. Moneybags, who is most often an asshole. They try to lure men with spoiled bait and complain about the quality of men they attract. You know you can tell who they are, because they want to know what kind of car you drive just after they tell you to buy them a drink. They have an agenda, and they wear it like fake Louis Vuitton: garish and proud. But this is a good thing for Brother Paid N. Full. Because he can afford to shamelessly keep a stable of hoodrats and wannabe chicken heads eager to be mistreated in exchange for a seafood dinner. And the women? Well, they are more than happy to stand in line.

Strange, that.

Black women’s unrealistic standards are probably borne of bedtime stories about handsome, rich men on majestic horses rescuing damsels in distress. Girlfriends often tell similar apocryphal tales about the friend of a friend who nabbed a rich, hung sugar daddy who saved them from a life of dishpan hands and lower-middle-class drudgery. Through the influence of popular media and the misguided advice they give each other, sisters combine these images and presumptions to draw a composite of a perfect black man. No way he could exist, but far be it for something like common sense to stop the average woman from looking. Her friends meet men who are so close—so close, girl! With just one fatal flaw, like he snores or doesn’t get DIRECTV. But girl, she was so close! So as a tribe, they all just keep looking, telling themselves that accepting anything less than perfection would be "settling," because they’ve been convinced that the perfect man exists. This goes on until this perfect black man becomes like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster, with cults of nutjobs trading information, hunting tips, and fish stories about the one that got away, their lives committed to hunting and capturing a creature who could not possibly exist. But wait!—just like Sasquatch and Nessie, Mr. Right is on the cover of every magazine, the star of many movies, and the next guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show . . . right?

Of course he is.

This delusion is called the Denzel Principle, or the Dizzle for short. The Dizzle causes black women’s standards to be so high as to cause them to be disaffected, disappointed, or deceived. It’s an affliction most commonly spread in beauty salons and hen se
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Any man who has even half of a clue about life, is looking for an intelligent woman for a mate. Hell that was one of the first things that attracted me to my wife, I was my wife's biggest cheerleader when she was finishing her degree and grad-school.

Trust me, 19 years of marriage teaches you that you need a well informed and intelligent partner to meet the challenges that life sometimes throws at you. I tell all of my single friends, men and women, to leave the himbos and bimbos alone.

 

To get back on topic...

I have started dating a couple of men who decided they couldn't compete with a woman with a Bachelor's degree going for a Master's. One man, when I told him I wanted my PhD said 'What the hell do you need that for? You're just going to be having kids anyway...'

Um, excuse me?

He took pride in the fact that he never wanted to go back to school again...loved being a CPA, which, if that's your thing, good for you! But don't try to beat down MY dreams because you know that you could end up with a woman pulling in six figures which would SMASH your 70k per year gig.

I've even had men talk to me and decide they didn't want much to do with me because they automatically assumed that I was out of their league because they had a high school diploma and that was as far as they'd gone.

Despite the fact I do value education, I also know that higher education isn't for everyone, and I have no problem dating a man with a high school diploma as long as he's happy with what he's doing.

I think part of the problem is that so many men are still raised to be the breadwinner that the idea of being with an extremely successful or educated woman means that they'd have to play second fiddle to her, which is not typically a male role. It's not so much the intelligence that freaks them out, but they tend to connect intelligence to earning potential, and that is something more men tend to have a problem with.

However, those are just my observations. I absolutely know it's not that case for all men- my current BF is over the moon about the fact that I want to go onto my doctorate once I finish my Master's...

And here's something else I've noticed...and there are statistics on this...

Intelligent/educated women tend to have fewer children. I've had a bear of a time meeting a man who DOES NOT want children. I also think men are aware that if they're with a woman who has a college degree, her chances of wanting kids decreases in a lot of cases because we'd rather have careers than be a mother, which also upps our earning potential.

 

exactly because you want a woman to bring something to the table besides her ass and tits.

 

bing bong you are wrong.

I saw a blurb on the today show or one of the morning shows alike and a man lost his 6 figure job due to the economy and the 6 figure wife took up the slack and she degraded him saying she looked at him as less of a man because he lost his job and has been unable to find one within 6 months.

wtf

 

Um, goodlove, exactly how does what you just said make *me* wrong when I very clearly noted that what I said doesn't apply to everyone?

There are lots of people in this world who still operate on archaic and often sexist principles.

 

ok let me PT out at least one thing. That one thing is men (we are not talking about boys) now a days are recognizing the economic climate and the new dynamics thus they are now chasing women older than they and we are also looking at women with money like women have been.

 

Oh, I don't think anyone should settle either, but it happens too often sadly.

However, whether you want to count yourself or not, you are still inthe s
smart/educated section due to life experience and your college career. You are a mother, and thankfully one of the decent ones who would rather make a good decision on a mate than go for the first guy who offers you attention.
That's a lot smarter than some of these ignorant little girls I go to school with,
dear. By realizing you don't need a man to survive you are light years ahead of
some women.

Ignore the text at bottom, it's hard as hell to fix problems on this phone.

I have a friend making horrible decisions in her dating life. She's twenty years old, first year college student, and is dating ahorrible man who is currently in prison. If she were smarter and more picky she might give someone far better a chance. Instead she's putting her faith in a man she wants to fix, like a broken clock. One day, when she realizes that people are far more difficult to fix than objects, she will move on to someone better... Hopefully before she gets hurt too badly.



I have a fri

 

For my experience, guys in general are less picky then girls, but that obviousy can't work for everybody.
I think being "smart" can be interpreted in many ways. There are more types or intelligences. For example, I think I'm "smart" at talking to people and help them and talking about social sciences and theorical things in general, but if I have to drive by myself in a street I don't know, I'll be the dumbest woman ever and I might get lost. LOL Also, somebody can be smart even though they are not educated. My mum is a monster of intelligence and makes me feel dumb all the time, but she didn't even finish high school.
So I don't think in general "smart" women intimidate men... I think the nerdy ones do. The ones that let you know that they know this and that and, even unvoluntarily, make the guy feel like he is an idiot.
Sometimes I have the bothering nerdy attitude (my flaw) and I think that intimidates some guys, but only the ones who don't really have anything to talk about.
I actually appreciate a guy I can talk with of everything and that can teach me something. The kind of guy you could talk the whole night with. I found only 2 guys like that so far.
If a guy have no topics and personal resources, then he might get intimidated. On the other hand, a guy can feel idiot when he talks to a "smart girl" and fall in love right because she seems so smart. I had this guy telling me "I like you because you are so smart and I'm so dumb, you always teach me things" (he wasn't really dumb anyways... maybe just a bit lol ). I don't know if that makes any sense. That's my opinion.

Now, don't expect me to post any other deep posts for the next 2 months because this one costed me too much in term of use of the english language. You guys should all learn italian.

 

Shit IB pegged you as a great match for me and I totally see why. Love a motivated woman who isn't into having kids. For me personally I would love to enjoy my life with my mate instead of years of running around until they're teenagers and then the real problems can start.
As for the CPA comment, I'm an accounant and I don't know where your last man was working or for how long but CPAs often make great six figute salaries especially if you move into financial planning or open your own firm.

 

Hardly,smart women are the only ones i ever dated and married

 

GD-

As much as that sucks, look at it as a valuable screening mechanism. These men are not worth your time, and you managed to find one who is supportive of your goals and proud of your intelligence.

My guy is the same - he has told me a million times that he loves both my brain and my body. Maybe we should look into cloning these men?

NG

 

I agree with you LS, never settle for less than what you know will make you happy. I see too many people who take the approach that if the pros outweigh the cons, then that's acceptable. I'm not saying someone has to have 100% of the traits/qualities that you would like a potential partner to have, but if there are things that really don't please you I don't think you should overlook them. I also don't think that's always being picky. I've known people who have unbelievable criteria they look for, what I would deem petty and shallow, but honestly if nothing else is going to make them happy then I wouldn't recommend they settle either. There is nothing worse than settling and having to live long-term with someone who just really doesn't do it for you, or being the person someone else settled for and knowing that you don't do it for them. I think either scenario is awful. Life is too short to waste any part of it.

We live in a society that prizes youth and beauty. If that were not the case, anti-aging wouldn't be the billion dollar industry that it is, nor would plastic surgery be so popular. I understand your statement Andrae, and I don't believe you intended to imply that women over 20 are unattractive, less attractive, or undesirable. I personally suspect that if you lined up a 20 yo, a 30 yo, and a 40 yo woman, made all things equal among them and they each looked their age, then gave a man the option of choosing one, it's likely he'll go with the 20 yo. That's what men are told they should find most desirable.

Now that in no way implies I think a 20 yo woman is more desirable and attractive than a 30 or 40 yo, nor does it account for the subjective nature of attraction in general. Everyone likes what they like. I've also known some young women and men who were really unattractive people on the inside, just like I know some 30 and 40 yo people that are equally unattractive on the inside. However all things being exactly equal inside and out, with the only difference being age, I still think the 20 yo is going to get the most attention. I personallly think the logic behind what drives that choice is faulty and doesn't take into consideration all that it should, but I still see it as the most likely choice.

I also wanted to mention Andrae that this is another one of those topics that tends to become emotional, but smart man that you are, I suspect you already figured that out.

As for men being intimidated by smart women, if they are secure in themselves they won't be. If that's an area of insecurity for them, or if they are the type of person who needs to feel superior on all fronts, then it's going to bother them. In general in my experience people will take issue with anything that they themselves lack or feel deficient about, as those feelings tend to provoke envy or jealousy.

I have also seen what GrlD described, men that think you shouldn't want to get an education because you're female and that would be a waste of your time. There's also quite a few who assume you aren't intelligent if you're pretty, or that if you have beauty then you shouldn't aspire to anything because that's not necessary. You wouldn't think there would be so many Neanderthal type mentalities in this day and age, but they're out there unfortunately.

 

I agree with everything in that post, especially that^^

I await the day when andrae turns vicious on some ppl around here. He's always backing out stating "i dont wanna act classless". Looks like he has a mean side to him, which would be highly entertaining to watch.haha:smt003