has online dating taken away the ability for people to be real

Nice conversation piece, goodlove.

My personal experience has been that online dating has been a quality experience, one that has allowed me to someone I wouldn't have normally met. A couple reasons for that: (1) I work a lot, so the typical social avenues that people use these days to meet new people, I tend to not be found in that circle. So the internet is a convenience of sort that still allows me to be social at times that I would otherwise not be accessible.

Another reason is (2) with sites such as this one, there is an opportunity to share more perspective on who people are prior to meeting. If I am in the grocery store and see a beautiful woman and strike up a conversation, she doesn't have a whole lot to work with on whether or not we should have a second conversation, past how I look and what I say to differentiate myself from the average guy who tries to holla. lol So with the computer as a tool, there is an opportunity to share more of a mental connection prior/simultaneous to the physical one.

 

The drawback is definitely a reality though. People who use the internet to communicate with others, and especially new people, tend to be a little more withdrawn from the normal social world. I see the same thing in non-internet daters, they avoid giving it a chance. I tell everyone, the way I handle it is the computer is just another avenue of communication. I don't put full stock in online dating, neither do I believe that the only way to find someone good is by meeting them in person first.

 

Yes, I think it has. Although I'm sure there are exceptions.


My experiences with this are through friends. I would never and have never used the internet as a way to find a date.

I had a friend (*had*) who met a guy online who she ended up "dating" online. He lives in England, she in America. They have been together (yes she's still "with" him ) for over 5yrs and in total he's visited her twice (soon be three times) and she's visited him once.
When he visits her he won't stay more than a week (flat out refused to). When she visits him, she can't stay at his house (they're both adults by the way...in their mid-late twenties), he won't introduce her to any friends, his family don't know they're "dating" and he refuses to tell them.
She's head over heels for him and will not bother with going out and socialising to find someone who actually loves her. She's convinced that he's the one.
He doesn't want a commitment to anything and continually tries to get her to do sexual things that she's uncomfortable with (and post the pictures on the net or let him participate on his micro-visits).
I'm no longer her friend because I told her the truth. He's an arsehole and he doesn't care about her at all. Which I'm sure you can all plainly see. LOL It's clear to everyone but her, because she's become dependant on this convenient and extremely lazy relationship.

Second friend.
Met his (now) wife online, she left a relationship for him, he left a country for her. He married her, had three kids with her and constantly cheats on her. Trolling the internet for more women he can seduce and sleep with. He even lives up the road from one of those women. She continues to flirt with men online, because that's just what they do.


Me no likey the online dating thing. :smt012

 

Wow Sin, that's a scary accurate description for two people that I know too. Like almost word for word. Weird!

 

Yikes, that is weird. If it's not the same person then it's really sad to know that my ex-friend isn't the only one out there putting themself through this. :-(

 

Give me a hint, first letter of her name, or the nickname she goes by, state she lives in, or something like that. I can't imagine it's the same person, but man was your description spot on.

 

Her name starts with an M and she lives in Nebraska.

 

The one I'm thinking of starts with M but doesn't live in Nebraska. That's still weird though.

 

That is bizaare. Incase I have the state wrong...is your M into witchy stuff? If not, it's definitely a different person.

 

She's into lots of stuff, but witchcraft I doubt being that she's a self-professed good Christian.

 

Ahhh...then it's definitely not the same person. LOL My M isn't christian at all. Well, that just makes it even more sad. Two people in the same situation. I bet that means there are many more like the people we know. This is clearly the bad side of internet 'dating'.

 

thanks for the compliment. i was wondering about online dating and at the sametime just online forums period. I have my reservations about online dating but online forums are fun but that can bring out the evil in people sometimes

 

thats a sad story.i wish people could find someone who that can truly love them

 

If you watched how people acted on the denzel principle thread and coorelate it with this thread you will notice how people can be. online people will have an alter ego versus the real world at least to some extent. on the web the real you will more than likely come out. If you are an asshole then the a really big asshole will come out. if you look at the convo of this thread we pretty much agreed . for example,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inner Beauty
I think they were antisocial to begin with. It might make people lazy in regards to socializing, but I don't think they've become anti.

I think it makes it easier for the less outgoing ones who need sort of a head start or a boost to be social.

yeah I can see your point. maybe it is good for them. instead of anti social maybe we should say shy people . then again antisocial people are just at least to me mean people.


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02-14-2010, 03:33 PM #10
Inner Beauty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goodlove
yeah I can see your point. maybe it is good for them. instead of anti social maybe we should say shy people . then again antisocial people are just at least to me mean people.

I don't know, I've known some mean people who are social creatures, but just have a stick up their ass and are downright negative.
______________________________________________________________

 

I don't ever attempt to even try to understand this guy, but what was this one about? Just curious.

 

It's about online dating, but the way he quoted me I was perplexed and of course he said he's not LarryLong, but that's exactly what his alter ego did.

 

The part where he quoted you is what I didn't understand. It wasn't clear to me what he was trying to get at. But, that's the case with every thread/post he creates. Goodlove/LarryLong is one amusing "accountant".

 

I didn't get it either. We'll know tomorrow.

 

No, we won't. Haven't you learned already from the jewish women thread?