Would you date or marry someone with kids?

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by Iggy, May 3, 2010.

  1. AdventurSum

    AdventurSum New Member

    he doesn't. he is just being his usual self, and not making a lot of sense. lol
     
  2. AdventurSum

    AdventurSum New Member

    lovely answer. :smt047
     
  3. Espy

    Espy New Member

    :smt058
     
  4. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

    I have dated a few guys with kids and I personally don't feel comfortable with it. I'd like to be with someone without kids. In my situation and my comfort zones, I have to do what feels best for me. It's not like I haven't given someone a chance. One of the last guys I dated had 2 kid (by 2 different women).
     
  5. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    Now this is just the way it's coming off to me, but you don't have to justify your actions or feelings on any topic! Everyone has to do what's best for them. It's when they don't, that problems arise.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you would handle this situation.
     
  6. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

    Thanx Bookie!

    I just saw how everyone was coming down on Iggy and Andrae for their stance on this and I'm not in the mood to debate.

    I think it would be different if I had my own kids.
     
  7. Espy

    Espy New Member

    Not coming down on anyone IB. I think you need to decided what works for you and go with it. Knowing what you want is half the battle. I do think the less 'dealbreakers' you have, the better the chance at not missing out on someone who might be great for you. But people need to stick with what they're comfortable with. No one is going to get onto you for stating your opinion, and if they do they can deal with me Chica ;)
     
  8. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

    Thank you!
    [​IMG]

    I agree about having less on your list, but that's something that I can't seem to get over the hump with and I have tried. I'm a very comfort driven person, so this is a big thing for me.
     
  9. beautiful02

    beautiful02 New Member

    Yes, I would.
     
  10. Espy

    Espy New Member

    You gotta be comfortable IB, so stick with what you know works.
     
  11. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

    Indeed. ;)
     
  12. lilhawk624

    lilhawk624 Member

    ?

    I can't definitively say no, but having children and going through
    that process is something I've always thought I would cherish
    going through with my wife for the first time together. Experiencing
    those emotions and struggles together would be the idea, but I have
    no children and remain naive in this life experience.

    I've never run into this scenario dating as of yet thought?
    Thoughts?
     
  13. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

    I feel the same way. I mean if the dude already has kids, most likely, he's been through it (at least most of the dudes I know who are fathers). I want it to be special too.

    Then again, regarding this whole topic, it's hard to meet someone without kids these days.
     
  14. Espy

    Espy New Member

    LOL IB, we need to swap places, pretty much all the men I run across have no children.
     
  15. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

    I know, right? LOL

    You don't want to get married again and I do. You don't want anymore kids and I do. Too funny....
     
  16. Iggy

    Iggy Banned

    Yeah I am the same way. Just wouldnt be comfortable with it. Sure women will say "I'm not looking for a father for them" but if the relationship does in fact get serious, the man will eventually be sort of a father figure. Add in the fact that I dont want to deal with the baby daddy either (watch the film In the Bedroom and you'll understand;))

    But then again what do I know, I'm apparently a "troll" according to one of the mods on here.:smt102
     
  17. GFunk

    GFunk Well-Known Member

    Fuck no. I'm not ready for my own kids, so I ain't gonna be ready for someone else's. My dad always told me don't get involved with women with kids. Not that they're exactly bad, but they aren't my responsibility or my problem and got a long line of shit I need to take care of for myself. I don't wanna feel like it's my job to take part in looking after somebody else's kids.

    Also, I just don't fucking like kids. I get a shitty look on my face without even knowing it when I hear a group of kids running around Wal Mart, or screaming, or walking in the path a fucking car.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2010
  18. GFunk

    GFunk Well-Known Member

    If the mufucka tries to act like they are the kid's real parent, then yes, that's a HUGE intrusion.
     
  19. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Then why do it to yourself. That's all I need bad ass kids I can't discipline but they can run all over me. Thanks but no thanks.
     
  20. Espy

    Espy New Member

    Not all children are bad ass and require discipline. As I said I wouldn't view any man as a father replacement for my children, but if they were acting inappropriately I'd expect him, or anyone else to point that out to them or to me. However, anyone I respect, my children would automatically respect as well, unless that person gave them a reason not to, so I wouldn't expect any issues to arise.

    I respect people's right to decide what works for them. If dating someone with kids doesn't appeal to you, don't do it. In general I think if something feels wrong to you, then it is wrong for you.
     

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