Sandra Bullock's real life "MICHEAL"

Have to agree with the others Loki. You are pretty amazing.

 

Bookie, Chi, Jordan, you are all most kind, thank you. Not sure how much credit I deserve, my brother and I were just lucky enough to have a Father (and Mother) that did the same for us growing up and has always been, and still are to this day, outstanding role models, who I can still turn to for advice and guidance even though I am a grown man with my own family. Having that kind of mentoring is crucially important in this day and age and something I try to give back to others in our lives. One of my biggest joys in life is watching my parents (they live 10 minutes from us) and my in-laws (they live with us part time to escape the Canadian winters) interact with our kids. So our kids get to benefit from their generational wisdom and guidance, and will one day pass that on to their kids.

Hmm, I feel like I should start playing "Circle of Life" from the Lion King... LOL

 

I admire you for this Loki. I always say that a child can, and will do well even in the absence of a male influence in their lives, but that in no way implies I think that's ideal. Both my parent's were what I would term failures in the parenting department, but my grandparent's, particularly my grandfather, more than made up for that. He devoted his time to me when I was small, and though I only had that influence for the first 15 years of my life, I have no doubt it made all the difference in the world and he's largely the reason I am who I am today. I regret nothing in my own life, but I do regret that my children have no positive strong male influences in their life. They are proof positive that you can become a strong person without that, but I often wonder what a difference that would have made for them. The bond you choose to form with your children is something they will benefit from throughout their lives, of that I have no doubt. Anyone who suggests a father's bond with a child is not as strong or influential as a mother's, is simply wrong.

 

I admire you as well Espy, you made/and are making the best of your situation, and it is beautiful to see the love (and the positive influence) you still carry for your Grandfather.

 

Good father yes. Exceptional isn't a word that should be placed with a parent because they are suppose to love without exception. Like Chris Rock would say that's some real nigga shit lol.

 

It's nice that your healthy upbringing was passed on to your children. I wish more parents (both men and women) were so hands on like you. This is how it should be. The world would be a better place if more parents cared.

This reminds me of when you hear dudes saying, I take care of my kids! Umm, yeah, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! They get praise for the ones who don't. Sad.

 

I'm very biased because I had and still have my father in my life. As he was raised by a single mother himself, he made a promise that he would be there for his kids.

I'm not gonna front. Society seems more sympathetic to women in general. Preferring mothers over fathers. That's how I see it. Another attempt to demonize men.

 

I agree. I don't think it's fair, especially for the men who want to be active in their childrens lives.

 

Yes, parents are supposed to love their kids without exception. But I don't see a lot of fathers being as in tune with their kids (especially in the womb) as Loki seems to be. So, from my view, he's exceptional.

It's all in peoples' perceptions. :smt023

 

This is still true to some degree in some areas, but it is improving. Regarding custody, the courts no longer automatically favor one parent over the other, unless there is a reason like abuse, or addiction. Now obviously there are cases that are still not approached fairly, but it's no longer the standard to just award primary custody to the mother.

I also don't think it's an attempt to demonize men, Smooth. Giving custody to the mother was largely based upon the belief that mother's are the more nurturing parent, which I think people now see is not always the case. I know quite a few single fathers who have primary custody of their kids and do an outstanding job, just as I know some women who are about as nurturing as a rattle snake. Nurturing isn't something that's a guarantee, it depends on the person, their personality and the way they're raised IMO.

 

Yes that is the exceptional part. Guys often don't do these things or admit to it at least. It's very touching to hear.

I always think it funny.............and one of my best friend's husband had to be set straight when he said he was going to "babysit" his kids. I had to inform him a babysitter was a paid worker who fills in for the parents therefore he would not be considered the "babysitter".

 

Then get out more lol
All they guys I'm friends with who have kids are all about being dads. Like cheesy matching outfits and non stop video tapping. They are incredibly determined to be the fathers most of us missed out on.

 

Maybe not at the time, but now, its ridiculous on how men are dragged through the mud by uberfeminists and supersweet men. Yeah, I'm a bit harsh, but I get tired of all the male bashing. A good friend of mine from school has sole custody of his son (after his wife at the time told him that she didn't love him anymore). He'll be 10 this year.

 

For my kids, I will be there from the day the soldiers infiltrate the fort.

 

You tell 'em Chica!

It comes with the territory....smh

 

Again you are most kind Bookie.:smile: One of the best compliments I ever got was from a family friend who recently, due to divorce and job loss, had to move in with us, bringing her three year old son with her, was when she said to me that despite how crappy her life is right now, she is thrilled that her son gets to live under the same roof with me and my wife as role models. I immediately called my mom and dad and thanked them for instilling in me what our friend now sees.

 

That's good. There are many good fathers out there.

But it doesn't seem like most of them are as involved as the moms. Yes, they do things with and for their kids, but there are many times I feel like they're doing it out of obligation more than nurturing....totally my perceptions based on the things they say and what I witness.

Though a friend of mine, who I got to know through our daughters, is one of those exceptional fathers who does everything for his daughter and is definitely the more nurturing parent than his now ex-wife.

 

Glad to hear that about your friends. They sound like good people to have in your life.

 

Outstanding! Always love to hear this from a young man such as yourself, I am sure you will make a wonderful father when the time comes, it is not always easy, but always worth it!

 

Yeah I appreciate having them its good to be around people who want to be dads and don't trat it like the plague. By the way I wanted to mae it clear that I wasn't taking a jab at you fam I think its great that you're invovlved as much as you are but in my mind why wouldn't a father want to be. Its a little half you running around that needs and depends on you.