Never Satisfied why Nerdy black men can't find happiness

Yep and that is so sad, oh well that is thier lost

 

i wondered that too, if you were a good man with a job or career, education, healthy, cultured, and no baby mommas and kids all over, why is it that black women think the worst of you?

i dont know where it comes from? what do they mean by a good man then? i have been asking this question for 25 years.

 

:heart: a man in a suit and tie. Nothing sexier in my opinion.

Agreed. I've introduced a few guys to things that they have never done and vice-versa. Most, if not all, had a blast doing things that were not the norm for them.

One of the most popular black guys in our school was big on country. Drove a Ford Explorer and had his country music so loud you could here it inside the building most days. I personally watched him turn down black girls constantly. He was very smart and a good football player. He is still a great guy, works his butt of doing what he loves, and still listening to his country music ... lol

Personally, I don't want my man's drawers showing. It's just not a good look. For anyone. Keep 'em pulled up. No-one cares if your wearing Hanes or CK.

Baby mama drama isn't good for anyone. Nerd or not. It puts someone is a not-so-good position when they get with someone who has it. I've seen them become the target of the baby-momma (and sometimes vice-versa). Too many young people are having kids, and their is so much drama involved it's nuts. I can't count how many times I've gone out with friends only to have the night ruined because they just have to stir up some drama with their baby-daddy.

I don't automatically think an older man with no kids is gay. I think he is smart! Good for you for being smart!

 

sounds like me, ford pick up, football player, roper, country music, but bookworm too that got me into the Ivy League University-not a sports scholarship

 

Actually, he didn't get a scholarship. I figured he would atleast go to college with or without one, but he didn't. I was surprised. But, he went for what he always wanted to be. He became a firefighter.

 

oh sorry i confused you, i didnt get one either or thought he did.i was talking about the stereotypes people have about blacks

 

Oh ... Gotcha

It's ok. It doesn't take much to confuse me ... :smt043

 

I have NEVER understood that. You did jail time? HEll NAW you ain't gettin MY time. YOu been in a gang? HELL NAW YOU are not getting MY time! You wearing your damn pants to the ground, I don't need to see your ass.
There's nothing wrong with a man who's got a bit of a tough side to him - but that tough side that is also gentle. The side that you know rarely comes out unless SOMEONE MAKES him really really really mad about his girl or his fam or kids. But this thuggish ideal, ugh NO I will pass. Move on brother cuz this girl don't want you!

and eric - seriously if I meet a guy who's between 30 & 40 and has no kids, I AM REJOICING. NO BAGGAGE, NO BABY MAMA DRAMA!! NOt having kids with one or more people DOES NOT determine you are gay!! YOU ARE SMART AS HELL.

 

We've all done a great job collectively refuting the merit of this article even though I doubt any of us are blerds. The sentiments many of us have expressed were attributed to blerds, thus “if this sounds like you” by extension you are blerd (a neat trick to get non blerds to defend themselves against being blerds). There have been some generalizations or lack of qualifiers on our part (I didn't care to mention them because of the personal nature of what was said and every word has been insightful, I was cosigning much of it.) I have to think over the statement below however, my thought process (and probably more generalizations) follow below.

The Black women who think the worst of you, the "baby mama" (or shall we say the female social equivalent of the imprisoned thug) has many grievances. Her situation is her station, she can not move out of the stratified class that she believes she's in, which she might consciously or unconsciously attribute solely to being Black.

They don't think any better of the thug they are with, they either think you are inherently on his level (a nigga) or they have recognized your ability within the social dynamic, but instead of thinking you the equal of a White man, they merely think you are trying to be like him. There is no such thing as a good man to these women who unfortunately probably see little good in their lives.

For the Black women not in this dynamic, those with relative, equal, or greater status, the ones from whence the There are no good Black men argument likely originates, well I don't attribute the same sentiments to them that the baby mamas have of Black men being no good. Their negative sentiments likely come from not finding their pedestal, to having a skewed perception of self-worth being equated with net-worth, to a competitive feeling towards BM for a host of unhealthy reasons .....

I'm sure for some positive Black women, who are only attracted to Black men, finding a single good BM that wants them can be rather hard. Dating is not easy for most women. So what about the Black woman who has her shit together? What about the Black woman with a career, who's educated, healthy, cultured, and has no baby momma drama. This is the profile I see when I hear of all the Black women that are single. . They don't want Black thugs or White men, they seemingly want the Black male equivalent of themselves and cant find it because....well, we have heard the many reasons why.....

So questions abound about Why these women can't find good BM? and then tuckerreed's question, what do they mean by a good man then? The whole issue to me now appears a RED HERRING. I never hear about BW that actually have a good Black man (I don't get out much, but I know several Black women with great Black men). How do these Black women get these "good Black men" Surely, no one is suggesting every Black women is single. The question should be in the vain of: What's wrong with the Black women who can't find a good man? Not What's wrong with Black men that a Black woman can't find a good one.

The issue of Black women supposedly not being able to find a man, or a good one, is only the concern of Black women who can't, no one else. I'm tired of seeing this issue in the media as if Black women and by extension the "Black community" are somehow going extinct because BW can't find good Black men.

Their station is not our station; meaning, the realities of being Black in America only extend into the sociopolitical realm up to a point, then the issues become a matter of personal responsibility--it's only so long some can hold their deficiencies over us as a collective issue. A Black woman not being able to find a man is her problem and not indicative of a larger societal issue that has to be addressed.

Black marriages/couples failing is more indicative of a societal issue; those women being capable to have found a man should not be included in the women who say they can't find a good man, because presumably the man you chose to share your life with and have kids with is/was GOOD. Black women who say they can't find a good Black man, and yet took a knowingly BAD one instead she be disregarded from the discussion. They are no more good or single than the Black men they shack up with. If Black women, Asian men and Blerds.....etc.... can not find mates then they will be “assed out” of the future gene pool, as simple as that. No one is giving you a shot; it's survival of the fittest.

Of course you don't know where it comes from. You would never blame your inability to get a Black woman on Black women, you are not a blerd. Unlike a blerd, you're a socially functional person more than capable of engaging a Black woman, who are like any other women in that they require a basic level of social skills to interact with. The blogger concedes that blerds can get White women. Why would a blerd have trouble getting a Black woman, but not a White one?

This whole false argument that a segment of the Black male population (blerds) are complaining about not finding Black women is akin to the false argument that Black men get angry when they see Black women with White men. There is no BM counterpart to the bs of some these BW. The few real Black nerds are hooking up with the White and Asian women they lusted after in the first place, and Black men who have no trouble getting women anywhere on this planet are not thinking about Black women with White men, we are more interested in that White dudes real sister.

 

What you just said makes soooooo much sense.

 

Not that you care, but this show fits what you've discussed: http://hater site.com/240032/here-we-go-again-nightline-special-asks-why-successful-black-women-cant-find-a-good-man/ It's on right now for the East coast.

 

and I'm sure BM/WW will be mentioned..... and there goes Steve Harvey and Hill Harper. I'm sorry, this shit is too funny :lol: , I'm sure komo will start a thread on it


this is exactly the shit I was speaking of and lo and behold on a "serious" news program . See this is why we have to address this shit here (not discuss it with BW) this is bigger than some raggedy bitter chicks on the internet, this is prime-time, news time and front page. Bull shit!!! What man with any balls would even try to engage in this....so sad

 

Yeah, but then those said women would wonder why would you be discussing them if you're supposedly not interested in them?

 

It's cause they're blaming their "single status" partly on us being with White women. It's like if you suddenly look at someone who has been staring at you for five minutes and then they say "What are you looking at"? If the BW and the media weren't telling me 110% of Black women were single I would be none the wiser.

 

I was just playing devils advocate, but as always and in true form, thank you for your "wise" answer.

If more people started some self introspection and taking responsibility for their own actions, some things might change.

Once shame on you, twice and 20x thereafter, shame on me.

This goes for everyone who can't find someone or blames people for their own shortcomings, be whatever racial background or gender they're attacking.

 

Man xo, you should get paid for that post it was so on point.

 

Like Karma said, he needs a blog.

 

What's gonna happen if these women can't find men? Nothing!!!! There's 3 billion men on the planet and these broads are fishing in a bowl talking about there's no men. That's blaming your inability to catch fish on the fish. Don't get mad at me cause I'm swimming or fishing in different water, I like where I'm at :smt050

There's enough blogs with people espousing their opinion. I like to come here and simply look at pictures of beautiful women, and see pictures and stories of us in love. It's the trolls, media and haters that get all of us riled up. If I was gonna start a blog it would be like the celebrity thread I started, but I like discussing that in our community. I'm sure I could make money writing in some other capacity, thanks for the encouragement.

 

You can swim in our water anytime! We'd take you hook, line and sinker...

As I've always said, you have a beautiful mind. It's nice that we're privy to read your insightful and truthfully raw posts.

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to theladyblaze again.