im glad you were to tell everything it was great. like i stated earlier we all have sufferred so we can all relate on some level.
goodlove: yes I have. not as severe and yes i don't walk around with that on my head all day I know that. however i cannot count how many times I have been called a white bitch, a cracka, a honkey, pasty, whitey, etc. or been told that I am priviledged for life - not so much cuz I am white but moreso that I was born into it, which I was not. My family has struggled all my life to make ends meet. We have been on welfare(like green cards and food stamps in the states and elsewhere) for years as well grown up on the west side of our city - the supposed side with gang members, more breakins, violence etc. people assume that b/cuz I am white, I will NEVER understand I will never go through I will never know what it's like to struggle. however, I am also a woman and that I DO understand. So yes, taking into account that no I don't walk down a street and get stared at, however I do have people who have ideas that I am rich, mommy and daddy pay for everything, that I don't understand the struggle of regular people I have dealt with. And being with a black man, I have seen the reactions from every one of EVERY colour in regards to when we walk down a street, and just as much as he has to see it, I have to see it and deal with it too. I've had people stare at me just as much as him because they wonder why I'm with him and not THEM. =)
that is what im talking about . that we all in some type of way sufferred. thus we can in some way understand. not always understand but we can. just because you are a ww doesnt mean you will be totally clueless to how we feel. sometimes if you did not understand it would be best just to show compassion and just listen
good post. Yes that is what I try to do. show compassion at the very least even if I cannot understand it - and I have found that is the best way because I cannot understand it entirely to be there for him in that way as a person who knows what he is or has gone through. =)
For the first question, the answer is no. When you are with a ww over a period of time and she is someone you bond well with, there gets to a point where you forget that she is white. People will stare at you two at times and you will wonder why they are staring. Then it hits you that you are an interracial couple. A ww couldn't understand the black struggle any more than a black person could understand the jewish struggle. Every ethnic group has their crosses to bare and unless you are rooted in it, you won't truly understand it. No outsider ever will, with any ethnic group.
I hate to sound like im trying to inflame anyone but it if i had to choose who would black people who could identify more with i would probably say the jews. due to the biblical story and the black slavery story . they are very similar. the jews had moses. we had harriet tubman and currently MLK. i believe the indians suffered the most in the history of the US and continue to get stepped on.
Yeah, I'm mean some of us do struggle, but here in America, the remnants of Slavery are still running rampant. Maybe not outright, but sometimes the underlying racism is worse cause it's masked. Then if someone was raised in the hood, they're more apt to feel no one understands even more so. A lot of White people here in America live with White privilege and have no idea how good they have it. They couldn't even fathom discrimination. Thank you for sharing and responding Kimbo!
ok because i never got the they dont understand or relate thing. all the girls i have dated i guess were of the same social and economic class and education level so we pretty much had the same backgrounds, so didnt need to understand anything
This is where I got the idea for this thread from (although, I've heard this many times before): http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=263820&postcount=4
I was reading a thread on Sohh (hip hop forum) and It reminded me of this thread. http://forums.projectcovo.com/showthread.php?t=2779401
That doesn't sound like my thread at all. It sounds more like it fits into this one: http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13309 My thread is talking about if BM feel that a WW could understand them since they're not in the "struggle" so-to-speak, not about WW thinking they're on some high horse using White privilege to act like they know the issues or can say whatever they want cause they were fucked by a BM.
I cant speak for all black men smt003) , but i often feel "crushed" when a black woman (a very attractive one) catches me "lusting" after a white woman (a very attractive one). Case in point, earlier this evening, I was purchasing gadgets at the mall, and this absolutely stunning white woman made solid eye contact with me (happens often but meh). After we crossed paths, I turned around goggling in amazement, goodness, was she fly. And then in the corner of my eye I saw a really attractive black woman saddened by my actions, and I felt kinda guilty(slightly embarrassed), for some reason. As if i wanted to tell her "im sorry, but youre much sexier", oh well
I wouldn't say I am missing the sistas but I don't think a WW can truly understand what its like to black in a country that really doesn't think highly of you. My girlfriend is a down as any BW could be. I think she has alot more soul than black people in general and she truly does know about the struggles of black people, but she can never really understand what its like to walk into a store and people stare at you. I don't think she can truly understand what its like to always try to prove myself in the company of white people. I don't think she can truly understand being pulled over by the cops and have to be on your best behavior because of the fear of police brutality. Some people have said that white women face discrimination also, which I would agree with, but white women in general still have it better than any other women on earth especially compared to black women. Women are unfairly judged more on the way they look compared to what they can do with their mind. This is sad but true. With that being the case WW have it way better because they are held as the standard that all women judged by. Black women can never compete with WW because from a physical standpoint they are on opposite ends of the spectrum. In all other aspects of a relationship I think a WW can definitely fulfill the needs and desires of a BM, but when it comes to truly being able to understand the "struggle" I think they will always come up a little short.
But does that mean that you love her any less? Do you feel because she can't fully understand the struggle that she's missing something? Do you feel that by being with a sista and her understanding the struggle, do you look at that as an asset? I mean I know you being Black and more importantly, a Black man in America, you have it hard as fuck, but is that important to you since it's part of your daily life? What I'm asking is, with all other parts a relationship with a WW (I'm speaking in general cause each woman is different) can bring, does that make up for not being able to empathize with the struggle?
Another thing I wanted to touch on. Just as a mere observer and since I've been around a lot of Black folks most of my life. I've known of BM who think that their struggle is harder than the womans (we see that is true), but also that they're men and Black women are women, so theres already a difference there.
