do ww who date bm feel less pressure about thier weight

it seems to me to a point that ww are coming out and embracing their curves. I have seen bra commercials for thick women ( they call em curvey ) and on my thread about chubby chasing a person put up a photo showing a beauty queen winner who is on the chubby side. I liked it too. she was HOOOOOOOT.

do you think ww are embracing the curves like the sistas.

you can also say the sistas are trying to get WW thin also. its like everyone is switching stereotypes or something

 

this question seems like a decade (or more) late. :roll:

 

1 and 2 are both wrong.

 

I think women in general are still critically image conscious, but I do think it's improving slightly as more women who aren't waif thin are featured in ad campaigns, movies, etc. If you're a little girl and all you see growing up are women that are stick thin and lacking in curves, then it's more likely you may learn to identify that as 'the norm' and a lot of girls in their teens strive to fit 'the norm'. There has been more emphasis in recent years on differences in body types, and on accepting that there is no 'norm' that all women should aspire too. But I think we're a long way from most women being able to look in the mirror and be happy with what they see if they don't look like the average model.

That's certainly not all women, some are perfectly content with themselves, but some of that comes with age I believe. I know when I was in my teens, though I didn't feel the need to strive for the androgynous look, I was more critical of my appearance than I am now. I still see the flaws, I just don't see them as something that need to be corrected anymore, they are just part of me and what makes me unique. I see the same attitude in my 18 yo daughter, and her perception of what is and is not an attractive body type is largely influenced by the flood of images targeted at her demographic, which are not necessarily realistic or healthy IMO.

However, I don't think that it's a matter of skin color, I think it's more a matter of upbringing. If you are taught to accept yourself and not to feel pressure to conform to other people's standards, you are less likely to allow something to influence your self-perception. If you are always told you are overweight, or too curvy, then you are more likely to view that as a negative that you need to correct. Again, I don't think that varies according to skin color.

 

do ww who date bm feel less pressure about their weight?
No, not at all. All of the bm I have dated have been in very good shape and because of that I've felt a fair bit to a lot of pressure, depending on the guy. So no, not really. The guys I've dated, both black and white, haven't liked skinny girls but they like toned girls. Which is actually even more pressure than being skinny because you actually have to go to the gym and work out rather than not eat for a week.

 

i see very good POV

 

I see but without stereotyping ( too late) it seems BW are less concerned with their weight than ww. so it would seem ww who date bm would possibly be the same way

 

I think generally people stick with what is similar to them. It's quite unusual to see a guy weighing 350lbs with a girl weighing 120, black or white.

 

Well let me be the bad one and say yes, I think they do.

I think BM care about how their wives & girlfriends look insofar as it affects how much they want to have sex with them, and how much they like to look at them.

I think WM are more likely to care about how much their wives & girlfriends can conform to acceptable norms.

There's a much wider net of what a man finds physically attractive, than what conformity dictates.

Also, I think Black Men are less controlling in relationships, less interested in relationship power struggles in general, and weight is one of the ways some Men control in relationships.

 

:smt038


That's why BW haven't developed eating dissorders because they aren't under the same pressure to be thin and perfect as WW.


Sisters like to portray is as monsters...but no other man will give her the freedom we do.

 

i never thought of it that way .you know the controlling factor.
are you saying the ww are more at ease with BM because of the less control factor when it comes to weight

 

I've dealt with both ends of this I have to say.

My older boyfriends were both okay with what I was at. I think they preferred me with some weight on(that thickness as they call it), but whatever I was happy with was what made them happy. I have been both very skinny(size 7) to chunky(size 12 now). I've learned to accept my body as it is - however my current boyfriend gets at me once in a while about losing some weight. He's trying to get me into shape as I should be BUT he seems to go the wrong way. He told me at one point that I used to be hot stuff - when I was 21 and skinny and starving myself. I told him to go shove it.
I've also been told by a few other interracial relationship girls I know that their men expected them to put on weight cuz they were too small - so they did. I would never do that ever. I've been told myself the brothers in the states would not be into me cuz I'm too small.

I think a lot of it IS media. White culture seems to have this idea of being skinny and whatnot so that's where you need to be at. If not, you're frowned on.
Black culture seems to be the opposite(except for my man who is the odd exception but he's more concerned health wise) where I get told that I wouldn't even get a glance if I was to move to the States(which again I know is not entirely true.)
I have found though that most black men just accept me as I am. If I was a rack of bones they wouldn't take a second glance but a few extra pounds doesn't bother them. I have to be happy with who I am in the end. If I was massively overweight, I seem to find that 50 percent of black men would still be okay with it, which is where I have the issues because I get pressure that I need to BE overweight to be attractive. And massively not just thick or curvy.

 

talking to ex girlfriends and to my wm friends over the years, i find that WW tend to be judged more for their weight by WM and feel more positive about themselves being approached and dating BM.

we are less interested in her size i think as culturally many of us love larger sized women

 

in africa I BELIVE i heard the same thing. im not sure which country it was but they believe the bigger the better because of the ability to carry a child

 

It doesn't matter for me whom I'm dating. I'm an athletic person. I'm trim, but curvy, and I'm not terribly interested in changing for anyone one way or the other. It's never been an issue with a BM to start working out or stop. I've had a WM I dated suggest I was not heavy enough for his liking. Dropped him like a hot, heavy rock. Also had a WM suggest to me I should start going to a gym. Again, if I'd gained weight or lost, I'd understand a comment from a partner. Not appreciated when I haven't.

It's certainly appreciated to have a man who understands bodies change and has the open mind to try and enjoy different sizes.

 

Those dudes can go fuck themselves. It makes me mad when a guy hates on ones weight, especially when it's someone who you're dating or in a relationship with.

My ex once made a comment while I was eating (I had a lot on my plate) and said are you going to eat all that? I don't remember what else was said, but he was implying that I might get fat. I'm like are you insinuating something? Why are you with me? He said no. Bullshit! You wouldn't make a comment if you weren't trying to imply anything. Funny how he got hard just looking at me naked (like when I was in the shower). Asshole!

 

Thats bad not good to act this way .. i hate comments like this i know most will think how can a thin person understand .. but i do .. have my own share too but for the oposite reason... if you dont like something talk nice and explain not just say something bad ..

 

He was an asshole period. Him and I used to argue all the time. That's why he's an ex for a reason. That was the only time he talked about my weight. I could understand if I was obese, but I wasn't. If he saw me now, he'd be like damn, you lost weight! I went back to my old weight. I weighed more when him and I were together than I ever had in my whole life.

 

Just be on the weight you feel comfortable and like to see yourself ..
then only you will be happy ..
and if you are healthy then why change... change only when you feel thats not what you dont like to see on you..
glad he is an ex..

 

Thank you Nyx!

Its funny, sometimes I'm okay with my weight, especially in jeans. Then other times, I want to be thinner. Since I lost weight, I lost weight in my face and I liked my face fuller better.