Should we spank our children? (Heated debate goes on in this forum)

Very sharp question I want to ask you: Should we spank our children?

Well, very heated debate goes on in this forum that I mostly go there that a lot as of now. My post is now over thousand, tell me what do you think once you reading all those posts!

http://henshinjustice.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50584

 

Hell yeah. Hard head makes for a soft ass. I agree with spanking 1000%

 

My Pops didn't play growing up and I'd get hit (although he didn't know his own strength). That scared the shit out of me. He would look at me and I'd immediately have fear in my eyes. I knew not to play around cause he didn't play.

I think controlled spankings are needed. Then again, it's not just about using physical force. Kids need boundaries and structure and they crave that. A lot of these parents these days don't know how to enforce or reinforce those things. They also don't care. Then we wonder why these kids are acting a fool and then some.

 

Fuck that, the only thing I want to spank is a nice bubbly juicy round chick's butt.

Look at me, I got spanked so hard and my IQ dropped by like 20 pts. I am like 1 standard deviation below my potential, LoL

 

:smt081 I got my bum tore-up many many MANY times as a youngin. Dad never did, but I knew what was coming from momma when I got into trouble.

It was mostly because I always fought with the boys. Man, could I kick those boy's butts. I eventually learned that I could fight them without drawing blood and I wouldn't get into so much trouble ... :smt062

So do I agree with spanking? Yes. But some parents do go WAY overboard with it. Sometimes a simple repremand would have been enough for me. While I did get spanked for the BAD things I did, I also got spanked for the very petty things.

 

No.

I think it is confusing emotionally to kids to be loved and doted on one minute then beat the next. You watch a young child who is hit and within a short time they will turn around and hit someone else.

 

Its like anything else in life. Done in moderation it will do no harm. Done excessively it'll cause more problems than it solves.

 

Hitting others is instinct. Its what animals do to survive even a doe will kick you if you get too close. Trust me a kid will understand why he/she gets hit because its usually for something they shouldn't have been doing and was warned about. Abusing a child is a different matter all together.

 

I agree with you. I'm also sorry that you had to endear that. Unfortunately, I can not only symphathize with you, more so I can emphathize with you.

 

A quck swat on the butt, to redirect or reprimand a kid doesnt hurt - not purposfully inducing real pain, just a swat.
I agree with that..

 

exactly jordie.

i believe that you can give children discipline without the need of spanking. my children are very well behaved if i do say so myself & i've not had the need to spank/beat them into submission. time-outs is what i used when they were very young and that has been the backbone to my control over their inappropriate behaviour. these days i just need to give them a look, stern voice or to count to 3 (i only ever get to 1) to have them pulled inline.

 

It depends upon the child. With some kids you have to warm their butt to get their attention, with others you can ground them and tell them how disappointed you are and that's worse to them. I can't recall the last time I spanked either of my children, primarily because my daughter never really required punishment and though my son did often, spanking was completely ineffective. If he intended to misbehave, he thought it out first and decided it was worth the punishment, so he was willing to accept spanking and grounding which required me to be very creative. The whole point of punishment is that it's supposed to be unpleasant, otherwise it has no deterrent value. So what works for one child, won't necessarily be effective with another.

Spanking however should be confined to their butt. If you slap a child's face for instance, I consider that abusive. I think spanking is actually an effective disciplinary method when employed correctly. Basically whatever method of punishment you choose will be effective as long as it's something that gets their attention and costs them something. I've also noted that once you find something that works, you don't have to employ it very often, most kids are quick learners and they know when they're about to push you too far. If they're bright, they'll stop just short of that.

 

Well said, EspyInHeels!

 

I agree. Kids need boundaries. If they don't have any boundaries, they'll be totally running amok.

I was spanked as a child and I never acted adversely to other kids. It didn't make me aggressive in any way. It didn't make my siblings aggressive either.

My daughter was spanked when she was bad. Now, I all I have to do (most of the time) is count to 3 to get her to stop being a little brat. She also gets sent to her room. She's not bad very often, thankfully.

But if she does something really bad or refuses to listen to me when I count, she gets spanked.

She's a happy, well-adjusted child who plays well with others. She isn't aggressive.

 

I honestly believe it is what caused me to behave the way I did in HS. When I actually did show up for school, I was normally suspended for my behaivor.

Thanks IB. Sorry that you had to go through it as well.

Mine was real pain. Pain as in I couldn't sit for days sometimes. Rulers, belts, flyswats, sticks with thorns, basically anything she could grab ahold of.

Butt, legs, back, shoulders were no exeption. If I squirmed I was done for.

My mom could always justify it. Though, I never could. If it got to bad, to were she would draw blood, my dad would step-in and stop her. As soon as I realized I was going to be in trouble, to the woods I went. I knew what was coming. Sometimes I would bring my own stick home, minus the thorns.

I was picked on alot by the boys. I was a chunky kid. My weight was up-down-up-down constantly. So my only defense was to learn to be meaner than them. Which I did, and eventually they left me alone. But, I would draw blood. Quite often too. 10-15 boys and 1 girl (me). I was one with the boys after I could defend myself. Kids will be kids, but I got into trouble for it.

 

"spare the rod, spoil the child"

as several have said already, i agree with spanking. the degree to which though is where the trouble lies. and there definitely is a thin line between discipline and abuse. for many of us, they weren't spankings, they were whoopin's. wasn't any warming of the butt, or taps on the tuckus... it was a beating. that kinda shit isn't good, and especially for trite childishness. but yet and still, enforced discipline is a necessary evil. just gotta know when to say when.

with all that said though, i probably wouldn't spank my kids. i'd get their nanny to do it. hahaha :smt028

 

You'd get nanny to do this spanking? There may be redness all across their asses.

 

yea. it's kind of an inside joke, i guess. but i don't have children. and pretty much have no motivation to create a new life cycle. it's a financial thing for me, mainly. so i tell everyone, "i am not having children until i can afford their live-in nanny." lol hence, she will drop the hammer on em when they're cuttin up. i'll just be chillin like, "well, what did you learn? hard head makes a soft butt." lol

 

Agree 100%. Every child is different. I was grounded once as a teenager. I was never bad.

That's exactly how my daughter is....she knows how far to push me. I've discovered that I rarely need to spank her anymore. Usually when she's being bad I take away her Nintendo DS. She usually flies straight when I do that. Sometimes she pulls the "I don't care. I don't like my DS anyway". To which I reply, "good, then you won't miss it". It usually takes less than 5 minutes for her to fly straight and apologize. Sometimes I'll give her her DS right away, other times, I tell her she can play with it again tomorrow.

It works almost every time.

This bothers me. You were definitely abused, by your description. There's a fine line, and your mom sounds like she crossed it. I'm sorry this happened to you. No child should have to endure that.

 

I agree she did cross it many times. She was raised in an abusive home aswell. So she just carried on the 'family tradition'.

I know I will never treat my children that way. Regardless of what they do.

As a teen I watched two children. Their mom was and still is a great friend of mine. I always had permission to spank them. I never would though, because I know how it affected me. A pissy look and loud voice was all I needed to make them understand what they did was wrong. They listened well, and were always great kids for me. I want my kids to be like that.