the wish list: what are you looking for in a man or woman and in urself

Well I think most of us just use offline messaging Andrae. But honestly do you really think trying to sneak around would work babe, you're entirely too smart for that, you know people talk.

 

And here's another reason why we need a sarcasm icon lol

 

I get you babe, no need for a sarcasm font.

 

Lol I know but its not my fault that they're all so wonderful

 

:smt023 You are just laying on the charm tonight sweetie. :smt058

 

I believe if you dont stand for something you will fall for anything-malcom x

so if you dont have standards then you will accept any old rag bag

 

im not just going to take any old thang. are you ?

 

And how's that method working out for you? From your posts it appears not too well.

 

it did not come into play until lately. now in college it did just fine. i dated a WOMAN for about five years. I wanted to marry her but the timing was bad. then I lowered them and gotten married and bam it was a wrong choice.

let me tell you:

if you choose a person with no integrity then they will never be counted on rite. so why be with them

would you date/marry someone who lies all the time.

you can sometimes see it in a person if you look long enough. one thing i did learn is to look at someones credit score and it says alot about them. see above for the clues about that person and you tell me what they maybe

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

 

Are you seriously going to do a credit check on a possible mate? That's crazy.

 

I agree with you Bookie, it's not something I'd do. I'm not sure how well that's going to go over on a first date.

goodlove: I need your SSN# so I can run a credit check to see if you're worth dating

her: sure, just let me run to the bathroom first

goodlove, shaking his head on the lonely cab ride home, wondering why she never came back from the bathroom

 

LOL! Yeah, I don't think that would go over very well, on the first date or the 10th date.

I think you just have to use your better judgment on that one: do they own property? Do they have car payments? Do they have credit cards? All signs that they at least have credit. :smt023

 

Agreed, I mean honestly unless you're going to marry them I don't see why it would matter to you since that's the only instance in which their credit would affect yours. I really don't plan to do that again, so I don't care what his credit score is. I take care of my own bills, I don't need any help on that front from anyone, so I don't see that my finances are anyone else's business. In short, I'd tell goodlove to piss off if he asked me for that much personal information.

 

Agreed, sounds very tacky. But there was a lady on this forum a few months back saying she will do all the credit check and stuff to any one of her potential date before he even shows up to pick her.

Last year, I went to pick up this lady to go to Poetry reading with and her dad was in her house helping her fix some stuff.... he was all up in my biz asking all sort of questions, I just got mad and I told him just Google me & walked out.... for God sakes his daughter works under me... geez

 

I'm not above making sure the man I'm going to introduce my young daughter to doesn't have a criminal record, but yeah, credit checks are way too personal.

 

Don't blame you for that GZ. What the hell is a man doing questioning you before you take out his grown daughter? I don't quiz guys my daughter goes out with. I do make sure I know who they are and where to find them, but I don't quiz them, that's up to her to find out what she wants to know. That's a little overbearing IMO, you should just trust your kids.

As for background checks and credit checks before you even go out with someone, that's completely inappropriate IMO. Like Bookie, I'd want to know that he wasn't a pedophile, rapist, or murderer out on parole, but as long as you have his real name you can google that kind of stuff. Besides my creep meter works pretty well, and if someone pegs that, I'm not going to spend time with them anyway. Also, unlike Bookie, my kids are nearly grown so that's not as pressing a concern. I'm just not big on pressing people for information, I prefer to let them reveal what they like, when they like.

 

I agree. Most people's true colors will eventually come shining through in time. I would feel so violated if someone did that to me, and I would definitely not be going on another date after I found out.

 

Exactly!

You can usually get a feeling about someone when you meet them and spend time with them, but there are some who are really, really good at hiding themselves. But, I would still make sure the man that I may end up living with doesn't have a criminal record, regardless of the good vibe I get from him. He'll be spending too much time with my little one for me not to do that, for her benefit.

 

not while im dating but if you are going to marry someone I will. if you go to marriage counselling like I should have along with putting a third eye in the dating game I would have never married her.

as far as credit checking . hell yeah Im doing it. I talked to my pastor , a marriage counselor and other people who have been married and currently and they will agree on the following. the pastor and the marraige counselor say they see it all the time. also stats will tell you the number one reason for divore is finances. here is what i have learned just on the credit checking :

1) If they have a bad credit history ( not credit score because some times people go thru tuff times. stuff happens) that means they have no integrity. You cant count on them for nothing. think about what a bad credit history says. they make promises and dont keep them.

I went thru that and my ex never kept her word. when i learned of her credit history I saw a trend. marriage counselors and pastors ( they do marriage counseling also. at least if they are licensed but be careful with pastors because alot of them arent true to the game)

2) you should be able to tell if they have no discipline. you want some one who has some discipline it is a sign of loyalty and/or focus. it is not a true indicator but just a warning that they MIGHT cheat. some people with bad credit history may not cheat but just be aware.

Im not tell you what I just heard. Im telling what I wnet thru. I have seen it. I got burned by it.

here were the mistakes I made and take heed.
1) I mistaken lust for love
2) I ignored all the obvious signs of dishonesty and lack of integrity . you dont have to look at their credit score for that. It is their day to day living
3) I didnt listen what what she said and didnot say.
4) I did not look at her family and how they conducted themselves . I did not put that into the mix. you can choose your family tho but think about it
5) You can choose your friends so I did not pay close attention in what type of character they had. birds of a feather flock together.