do ww who date bm feel less pressure about thier weight

I was watching oprah winfrey and jessica simpson was talking about her " weight problem" . she stated she did not feel fat. she stated she may have gained weight but she did not feel or look fat.

they also showed a woman who anorexic and she looked bad. she was a model at one time.

i hate to sound like im stereotyping BUT here we go..... I did not see too many bw complaining about their weight ( but a growing number are complaining) so do ww who date bm feel the pressure of their weight ?


did you feel the pressure from wm when you dated them ?

is the pressure of being thin a media thang ? or is it real ?

 

No to the first question, I dont get your second question - is it a media thang or real.

Its in the media all the time and hence its real.. it makes a lot of girls and women AND men THINK that this is how you are supposed to look like.
It does put pressure on a lot of women unfortunately.

 

no to which one because i just edited while you were typing .

 

elaborate please

 

I edited to.. thats funny, cuz when I posted, you post had changed so my answer didnt make sense...
LOL

 

the 2nd question about wm you dated, i wanted to know was there a difference in how wm viewed ww versus bm viewed ww in their weight ?

 

I don't date WM, so I don't subscribe to their theory about thinking a woman with a boys body is attractive (I'm being stereotypical here). I also hate when people think that BM love a fat woman. There's a different between being curvy/thick/shapely/having meat on your bones and being downright fat.

I know my weight is something I pay attention to cause I have the fat gene (both my grandmothers were overweight) and I'd never want to go there.

I've had dudes tell me that I'm thick, then when I lose the weight, I don't hear it anymore. I like being curvy or whatever I am, then I also want to see how it is to be thinner (haven't been there in a long time) cause clothes fit me better in different weight classes.

It's always nice when the man or men you're attracted to likes your body (weight).

 

lol. we were bumping heads

 

i have always felt the pressure to be thin. it came from my family at an early age and just grew as i grew. pressure to be thin comes from many sources...the media of course, fashion designers, family, friends, boyfriends and your peer group. i've felt pressure from all of them at some point in my life.

 

i dont believe bm love dating fat women like people believe. we like (like other men) variety. some men like big women. some men like curvy women some men like slim and skinny women but my point is that is there a bigger pressure about wieght from wm versus bm ?

 

me personally i dated a wide range of women as far as wieght. from slim to over weight.

im usually dating people from slim to thick but not over weight but i made an exception because i liked the person. it turned out to be a very good relationship

 

I cant answer that for two reasons... one, I never felt pressure about weight, I dont give a flying shit if "you" think Im too fat or too this or that - then "you" can move on.

I have only had one blck boyfriend (well, two if I count an X from college but he was Swedish/Cameroonian and not American so it does not count in this argument) so I cant tell if there is less pressure.

A black guy that is attracted to me clearly dont like big booties since my build is athletic so I guess those bm would automatically want their women thinner. Maybe there would be the same pressure then?

 

I don't either, hence why I said I hated when people say that.

I think there is pressure all around, but yeah, probably more so with WM - cause like Tarshi said, it's the media that pressures us to look a certain way.

 

yeah , i see. well i give you kudos for having a great self esteem because it is very important when it comes to this convo.

what you also stated about your physique tells another story that BM only date fat women is a myth.

 

the media is the cause for alot of ills. one is giving a false definition of what beauty is

 

Yeah.

It's sad cause no one can be pigeonholed into one category. There are too many body shapes, complexions, features etc. to have one standard of beauty.

All you can do is look YOUR best and do whatever works for you in every aspect. Confidence (like how FG displayed) is what will get you far.

 

exactly. took me a long time to figure that out. trying to live up to someones ideal on how a woman should look is destructive. i suffered horribly from an eating disorder because of it.

 

*Hugs you*

I'm sorry to hear about that Tbear. Fuck all those assholes! You know you have it going on. Show them fuckers how its done.

 

If I didn't date black guys I would feel the pressure much more because italian/european white guys are very very picky about fat and stuff.

I don't want to stereotype black men saying that they like fat girls (and even if it was true, that would be their business) but I never had problems with them about my weight and shape. Under this point of view, they helped me to feel much more desirable and sexy. My standards about women are different now too. I like to see a thick girl with a nice round ass and thick tighs. Those that for my girls are "fat", for me are "curvy". Basically that's what my nickname wants to communicate. U like what u like and u can see the same thing and call it fat or thick, it depends if u like it or not
I usually don't dress tight etc but when I attend places where there are many black guys I have no problem doing it because I know that a good part of them won't think "she is fat", so I feel more free to be myself inside my body.

I must say that american men I met are less picky in general though, being them black or white or latin or asian.

 

I can relate. I've only dated one dude where I actually felt fat. He was a skinny mf'a. I felt out of shape and not toned with the rest, but never fat. Some might say that the aforementioned is synonymous with being fat, but carrying a lot of weight vs. being "sloppy" so to speak are two different things.