why nice guys get dissed ?

Lol that about sums it up

 

your choice of words are bad ( I have done the same thing and still do it. you know bad choice of words) but you are some what correct.

cocky is bad. confidence is good.

selfish is bad but having a healthy high self esteem is good

for the most part there is nothing wrong with getting advice. you should always get advice in somethings because you dont know everything. the bible tells you that " seek wise counsel. multiple of counselors there is safety"
you are half correct in not getting advice from women. they are the deer so why ask the deer how to hunt them.

I did however had a woman tell me 2 pieces of good advice and it does work but for the most part get ur advice from another man but still be careful with that because some guys dont have a clue.
like me im still learning but i have been successful

the major part is not getting run over in a relationship and establishing boundaries without arguing and being an asshole.i have to learn that myself not the asshole part.

 

LA, this really sums up being the "nice guy" perfectly.

Women, hell, people want their emotions stoked and ignited.
Drama, while seen as a derogatory term in many instances, is simply a display of heightened emotion.
When emotions flat line, you have boredom.

This is why being a jerk can be so effective.
However, being sarcastic is not the only way...

Also, being a nice guy and living an interesting life don't have to be mutually exclusive.

 

so being a nice guy means he needs to be well rounded and also be a courage man when need be ?

then why do women love pricks

 

They dont, stop genrealizing GL.
I understand you are bitter (you were done badly) - but c'mon son.

 

LOL. Im not bitter but it has come up alot . I have seen some women date good guys but for the most part women get older then they date sensible. not all tho.

you know im telling the truth.

same with guys they love to try to hit the big score and bragg about it then later on in life they see they wasted valuable time or realize the pain they cause trying to put notches in the belt.

but you gals did not put that out there on the guys so i did it. LOL.

now the guys are gonna get mad at me

 

I would be bitter - awesome you are not Kudos to you!!!
You are correct, not all women ever learn that lesson.

Do you really think men realize the pain they caused? I honestly dont think they do? I think some men realize they wasted time but we also have to grow up and not committ before we are ready and some just never get ready.

I am on a dating site and you would be surprised by the amount of men in even in their 40s and even 50s that are just looking for "short term fun" but hey, at least they are honest about it. They get no response from me though.

 

FG been hanging around too many brothas.

 

nah - I just love that gif - I couldnt help myself

 

short answer, "no." i think the reason this thread began is because a lot of women don't realize the pain they cause neither. it's kind of sad the emotional damage that gets passed around through unsuccessful relationships. sometimes it really takes a soldier to find true love. (was that an aimless plug for sade's new album? lol)

 

I agree with you there.. I didnt mean it as only men dont realize the pain they cause.
I think humans dont, usually. Some do, but people that engage in this behavior rarely think about the consequenses and the emotinal wreckage they leave behind.
That is why I take my integrity so seriously and try my best to live by the golde rule. I can only do my part and it starts "at home" sort of speak.

You can not waste so much energy fretting over stuff you have no influence over, but you can expend some energy on what you can change... i.e., yourself. I wasnt so nice when I was younger.

 

that's real right there. whoa. that's definitely been one i always work on.
:smt021 (me tryin to crush my mean side) lol

 

I have to own it and I do the same with that side
:smt021

 

FG, I think you and AdventurSum are correct that people often don't consider the effect that they can have on other people. However I think a lot of that is just part of growing up for some people. Not everyone has a good moral compass, for whatever reason, and so some just have to figure it out along the way. Thankfully I think more people live and learn, and those that don't are in the minority. It clearly takes some longer than others, and there are some who will never learn to be considerate of anyone else. I pity those people, they simply will miss out on so much with that type of attitude. But I pity the people they hurt along the way more, as some of them will have permanent scars and will allow that to negatively impact the rest of their lives. People do stupid things sometimes, but you shouldn't let that change who you are, that's giving them more power than they deserve. A lot of us might not have been nice when we were younger, that's just part of the growth process, but at least we recognize that now.

 

Ahmeeeen!
That is right on.
What a waste spending time hating people, they dont care and why should you waste your energy on them. That is truly giving them power they dont deserve.

I never understood when I have friends saying "he does not deserve to be forgiven".
To me that is missing the point w a million miles, you dont forgive peple for their sake, you do it for yourself. So you can let go and move on.

 

Exactly. I forgave my ex for me, not for him.

And sadly, there are so many people (women especially) who encourage others to hate their exes because that's what they're "supposed to do". There are many people who can't let go of the pain that they experienced in a relationship. Which is very sad.

 

BAMM!! (tommy davidson style) you hit the nail on the head right there.

 

Amen to that FG!

I don't forget pretty much ever, but I do forgive and move on. Just because they don't ask for forgiveness isn't the point with me, the fact that I know they did wrong, and therefore forgiveness is an option, is enough. I'm not wasting my time holding grudges, no good will ever come of that. There is truly no one I hate, I just think it's such a useless emotion. The only person it hurts is you. As I said, I don't forget, that would be foolish and I do believe in once bitten twice shy. But I can honestly say that even if one of the less pleasant people from my past contacted me for help with something, if it was within my power to do, I would. Just because they mistreated me, doesn't mean I have to do the same. I know better.

 

That is exaclty my attitude, I dont want to waste one lick of energy on grudges and hating people and I will certainly never stogp down to their level.
I do me.

and I think like you on that matter.

 

i agree...i forgave magic so that i could get on with my life...it took flying all the way to the east coast...visiting him in jail for two hours...and flying back home...it was a liberating experience...some thought that i was wasting my time and money on him...but actually it was more about what i needed for myself...people i thought were friends judged me for making the trip...those people aren't worthy of my friendship...