why nice guys get dissed ?

wow it sounds as tho he never put his bid in.

 

Yeah sounds like he's too scared to go for what he wants. It's really sad. Sometimes we put people on pedistles when they don't definitely don't deserve it.

 

The media is responsible for painting the picture that nice guys loose or often times go through extreme lengths to attract a certain woman. Nice is NOT seen as being lame, its seen as being BORING and considering what most women do with their spare time they need constant "excitement", "drama" or their own lives are "boring".

Of course Nice Guys are going to get dissed, I posted the clip from Adam Carolla proving that fact. I don't see how women can defend that stance.

Western Women don't "quote" reach maturity until late 20's, early 30's. But even the Cougar movement is undermining that, its almost hopeless.

Keeping up this immature behavior until their almost 50!

If your a nice guy you end up with this all kinds of stuff you really don't want. This is solely why foreign bride marriages continue to rise, why BM are increasingly not marrying BW, why few men desire to get married and why Sex Tourism is high.

 

COSIGN big time.

 

Ah fake people in Los Angeles like New York doesn't have this problem...

What's your complaint about them really? Were you disappointed by some cute guy that you thought might turn out to be something special ending up being some broke looser that was behind on child support payments?

Listen to "Fakin Jacks" by Pete Rock

People have agendas in small town USA, its just their expectations are very low.

 

my theory based on being told a million times is that we dont have a rap and we dont beat on our women

 

I don't see how you could Andrae. The vast majority of what he said is complete crap. Nice guys aren't always seen as boring and not all women are self-centered drama queens. But for the guys who think being a nice guy is a detracting factor, try being an asshole and see if that works better. I rather suspect then we'd just be hearing something like 'if you aren't a nice guy, and you don't let women walk all over you, they don't want you'. Some people take everything personally, and if they aren't having the success they feel they deserve in whatever aspect of their life, there's gotta be someone or something else to blame.

 

This is crap. You've managed to forget all the Women who actually get married. As if the entire Western female population was single to the age of 50, and all of them chasing bad boys the whole time.

How anyone who pays ANY attention to anything Adam Corolla says can talk about maturity is beyond me.

 

Espy I agree with because it's something I've dealt with personally and see too often. This might be a young thing but as far as I can tell being nice is seen as weak. From what I gathered women often think that anything that comes easy isn't worth having and if a guy is nice it's because he's over compensating for some type of deffiancy. I know there's a difference between being a nice guy and a door mat but look around women often give themselves over to the guy that was hardest to tame not the one who appreciated her the most. I use to be the guy who wrote songs and did over the top nice things because that's what my female friends told me that's what girls wanted. I slowly learned that a hunter should never ask deer how to catch another deer you ask another hunter and more importantly never ask women how to get other women because more often than not women have no clue what they want so how can they tell me. I started observing all the guys I knew who were successful with women. They were cocky and well put together they were just enough jerk not be considered a complete asshole and women were all over them. So I developed my own personal swag and stopped all the over the top kindness and stopped being less considerate and far more selfish. I made everything on my terms. It all came down to what I wanted to and that's the way it is until you've earned better. I know these words sound pompous and cold but this is one of the few things I know with firm impunity. People won't respect you if you give them something they haven't earned and that goes for relationships as well. I know you think differently but again observe the men women go for the ones that they wait to hear from. It's the guy who pays them little attention at first someone who does very little at first.

 

In defense of what he's saying just because people get married doesn't mean they're mature.

 

If it works for you, then by all means do it. That approach wouldn't interest me in the least. If a guy is cocky and displays even mild 'jerk' behavior I have zero interest in him.

I do agree with you that you shouldn't depend upon advice from women on how to attract other women, but I really don't think you should depend upon advice from men either. Something that works for one person may not work at all for someone else. I honestly don't grasp the concept of asking other people for advice and then relying on that to make decisions about how I would approach another person or interact with them in a relationship. It's the same concept as reading self-help books IMO, and that just does not interest me at all. Perhaps that's because I will not accept anyone else's opinion on a person or group of people. My opinion on a person will never be based upon anything but my own personal experience with that person. So anyone else's advice is useless to me.

 

Women know just as well as men what they want - Your conclusion is drawn erroneously...

The problem in doing the things you mention, like writing songs etc - is a VERY uncertain road: you may come across as chivaleresq and romantic, but you have a higher chance of comming across as overdoing it/insincere/needy etc.
The only safe way to do it, is withsomeone you already have, otherwise its a crap shot at best.
If the chemistry isnt there, you will not make it happen with these romantic gestures...unless she is already into you. That doesnt mean you should go the other direction.

Younger women tend to think they can fix the asshole, once he is "caught", that doesnt mean she doesnt want a nice guy..But, it doesnt mean any nice guy, if there is no chemistry - it doesnt matter what you do.

and I dont think women think you are overcomensation for something if they are nice.. you are just not her nice guy.
Its that darn chemistry thing...

Granted, many younger women do go for the doushes - I did, I learned fast to look elsewhere.. same goes for men - if you get the same result every time, look elsewhere.

I say be yourself, dont try too hard, it doesnt work for men and women alike..and if the chemistry isnt there, move on... you cant force it, regardless of how much we want it..
I think this is a misstake many women do when they are younger.. and take it personally when it doesnt happen, "when he realizes X or Y, he will be mine forever".
Life doesnt work that way and it really isnt "us", its "them"... "We" just approached the wrong type.....
Edit: so I re-read that, I meant to say if we keep approaching the wrong type, then we are the problem, not them regardless if they are doushes, assholes or selfish twits or bicthes or whatevere


Being selfish as you put it and doing it completely on your terms is equally a bad idea... you might acctually attract the type of woman you dont want..

If you just want to date, then it doesnt matter, finding the right one, cant be forced and it will - or will not happen -
Somehow, it seems to me like when we actively are looking - the other sex somehow senses it an dit never clicks, once you let it go - its seem to just work it self out....

I find that interesting....

 

i agree with this one big time. if you act outside of your nature to attract women you will not even come close to getting the type of woman you really want. but in the bigger scheme there's two other things at play here: you're willing to compromise who you are simply to gain something outside of you. (which is wack) and also that you don't believe the woman you want will want you for who you really are. (and if that is the case, is she really worth wanting in the first place?) the answer to that is "no," so who cares if nice guys get dissed... if you're a nice guy, then rep for your team. and prove the naysayers wrong, go out there and get your dimepiece queen.

and as a sidenote... i don't think it's nice guys who get dissed, it's corny mugs with no style and bravado. just cause you're nice doesn't mean you need to be a square. as the young bucks these days say, you need to have some swagger. and swag isn't owned solely by the badasses.

 

Espy and FG you both make valid points as always. I just wanted to clear up that all of this is from my limited 20 something perspective and I'm sure it changes along the line but this is all I know for sure at this point. You women are more mature and have a better grasp of who you are so you know what you want and don't want but there is something about being in your twenties the uncertainity of knowing who you are that makes young women seek out a guy who can take the lead. Being cocky gives the illusion of that kind of confidence and women eat that up. Espy as for your comment on why ask other hunters on how to get women? Well it's fairly simple there is a general rule on getting woman but it differs on woman to woman on how to keep them. I only state what has made me successful in terms of getting and having sex with women. Like I said there's a general rule.

 

If you go with a general rule, you'll never find the exceptions to the rule. Just my 2 cents.

As far as it being a maturity thing, I do believe that's the case with some people, but it's not for all. My approach to people was the same in my teens as it is now. However I will say that with respect to men I've known, maturity very much increases with age.

 

28 years and I have never been pleasantly surprised. People do exactly what I expect because in essence we are animals and the actions of multicellular organisms are completely predictable. There are exceptions but for the most part there is a general rule. We all crave water air and food. We all crave to be socially accepted. Dominance is rewarded and passive behavior rarely is. It's simply how we operate.

 

It's how some people operate, I don't dispute that. But you simply cannot put everyone in the same box, some people simply don't deserve that. I agree a lot of people I know don't exceed my expectations, but there are a fair number who pleasantly surprise me, and it's really nice when that happens. I just think if you always expect the worst out of people, sometimes that's all you see.

 

I don't observe the world in right or wrong anymore. More like most beneficial vs least beneficial. People act in their interest usually no matter how self destructive it is. Trust me Espy I yearn and hopeto see people differently but the data is always the same. People are usually shitty to each other over superficial and short sighted goals. I believe we'd all benefit if people were a little kinder and treated everyone with a little respect but unfortunately that's not the case. Some people are decent to each other but sometimes it doesn't like enough people are forcit to count. Damn now I need to meditate lol.

 

Well you're just on an 'all people are the same, and they're very disappointing' kick today aren't you. You need a damn hug Andrae, several in fact.

 

Insert all-purpose PC "most/some not all" disclaimer™ and this is on point.