A question for the regular posters on WWBM

I've been staring at my number of notifications, and it's bugging me every time I login because I haven't done anything with most of them for the past couple of weeks. So I'm curious to know how everyone else handles it when someone joins WWBM and immediately sends them a friend request or an IM offsite. This happens to me a lot and so I know it's a regular occurrence for everyone else too. It's also not people who stick around and post, it's like they join and never interact at all. I get that some people lurk, and I have no issue with that, but I think if you're going to IM someone you ought to have had some type of interaction with them first. Maybe I'm being a bitch about it, but I just question the motives of someone who contacts you when they don't know you, and you know nothing about them.

At least on Yahoo messenger it allows you to tell them why when you refuse the IM, but on WWBM your only option is to reject the friend request. Reject is such a harsh word and I have trouble doing that. So my current policy is to just leave them unanswered until I see if they stick around and post. I'm not entirely pleased with that approach, so as I said I'm just curious how everyone else deals with it.

 

They can't help it if they're intrigued.

 

Thanks Karma, that was really helpful.

 

Hahahaha, I'm sorry.

 

we don't have PM anyway...your contact information can be seen by everyone that logs into this site so the friends list has no purpose...unless this is more than a forum to you...

 

I get that Lipstick, however I've noticed if you accept a friend request then it's apparently the equivalent to okaying someone to contact you in their mind. Initially I just accepted them all, as I really don't like the rejection option, but I noted that then if they sent me an IM and I refused it and explained I don't chat with people I don't know, they'd give me crap because I friended them on WWBM. So I stopped accepting friend requests for that reason.

 

I don't hand out my Yahoo IM address to just anyone. I've had that email address for years and I'm quite attached to it. I don't want to block people if I don't have to.

That being said, I have 2 email addresses with my screenname as the email address. That way, I can separate the real friends from the ones who want to talk to me strictly because I'm a female. So, I rarely log into my msn IM unlike my Yahoo where I'm on it every day.

As for the friend requests here, if they want to add me as a friend, I don't care. Like Lippy said, it really doesn't serve much purpose. But, I haven't had many try to add me to their messenger list just because I accepted their friend request on here.

 

Let's face it: this is probably more of an issue for the ladies on the forum, particularly those who may have interesting posts or attractive physical features shown in their avi's. It's a shame and I wish we had a way of closing that interference and allow for ways of seasoned members to communicate. Although there is certainly sexual energy in the forum, I tend to think of the ladies in here as sisters in a sense and would not want them to have to endure insulting or persistent notices and emails. As I said, though, there are times when it would be convenient to communicate privately and directly with other members.

 

Right now I have 5 notifications of friend requests from people whose name I don't recognize. I just ignore them, they have no business being on my 'friend' list.

 

I just except them all. LOL Since I'm on facebook as well, I have a thing for hoarding imaginary friends anyway. :smt043
But as far as IMing, I don't put up with that. I won't talk to someone unless I know exactly who they are. If they get insulted...too bad.

 

I accept them, and move on.

 

Out of the reason that nothing serious is behind, I just accept friendships- btw I have a bunch of ghosts there..Coming in once and never seen again..lol

Would we have any private access, maybe an album or anything, only friends have access to, I would handle it different, for sure.

 

This.

 

Agreed.

 

I have to agree with Lippy and Christine.

Me, personally, I look at this as a forum to interact with other people whom I may have never had the chance to in real life. Because of distance or where someone lives, you would probably have never met them otherwise but they are beautiful people none the less. Christine in Europe/Africa, Lippy and Espy in Colorado, myself here in Chicago, Flyingeek, Innerbeauty, etc.

Getting these people's pov on different topics can be an eye opening experience. They may come at you from an angle you never expect. Now the fact that they are ww and come at me from a perspective entirely different from mine being a black man makes it even better.

However, if I did ever want to take it futher, it would be with someone I'd got to know through their postings. I'm not a big fan of internet dating, I like more personal, one on one contact over a period of time.

From my experience with women, they don't "let their hair down" with a man until they get to really know and trust him. With some women, that can take a while.

 

For me, it is very exciting to meet people from all over the world, different nations or races, different religions. It opens your mind that all, at the end, have the same problems, all feel the same pain. When I meet muslim people I feel sometimes weird, if one starts to pray in the airplane, I sometimes feel ashamed, when people in Africa have problems, I cannot imagine anymore. A lot of funny stuff happens, when you travel, you see so many perspectives and opinions. I always say life is soo beautiful out of the different colors.

That is correct- I just think that the expections shouldn´t be too high. Get to know people, should it come to a romance..great!!

 

:smt045lippy prefers this as well...i think it's easy to admire someone over the internet...you see their pictures...you like what they post but nothing is more telling than a face to face meeting

 

Kimbo, I risk now something. I want an exchange with you. I like to have a pic like that from you..

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in exchange you can choose, what you want to see from me either in the "Black Men Body Pics" or "The ladies and gentlemen of wwbm in formal yet seductive attire" Thread

 

to hell with kimbos parts...lippy wants to see ALL of him:smt077