The Double Standard

First of all, don't call me sugar britches.

You have never been married, you don't have any children, so why are you commenting?

When 2 people have kids (whether they're married or living together or whatnot) usually the conversation comes up of, should one of us stay home with the kid or should we put him/her in daycare? Would you like some hard facts on how much childcare is for an infant in the Chicagoland area? If you want a decent daycare center (and really, what parent wouldn't?), it will cost you AT LEAST $1300 a MONTH! That's more than some people bring home. If one of the parents is making less than that, it would behoove that parent to stay home, because in the long run, it'll save the family money to have a stay-at-home parent.

Now granted those numbers are for infants and as the kid ages, the prices do drop, but I can tell you that before my daughter entered Kindergarten, I was paying almost $900 a month in daycare costs. That's a helluva lot of money to dish out for someone else to watch your kid. Now, if you're a single parent, you really have no choice. If you aren't a single parent, then you can choose to save that money and stay at home with your kids.

Now, if two people decide that it's fiscally more responsible for the woman (who usually earns less than the man) to stay home, then it's BOTH of their decisions. They made it as a family unit.

If, say after 10 years, the parents divorce, the woman has to go back to work. She finds a job and a month into the new job, her child gets sick and she has to take time off. When you're brand new at a job, taking time off is usually frowned upon, so therefore her new job can (with employers who are less than understanding) be in jeopardy.

As for if the man dies? It's called life insurance. Most employers automatically have at least your salary as life insurance for all of their employees.

There are so many layers to this argument, and if you aren't living it, you can't see them all.

Spousal support MAY be needed to help that parent get back on his/her feet. Because it could be the woman paying the stay-at-home dad alimony, you know.

 

Yes, I do agree in those situations and ones like it. If both parties have agreed that one or the other is going to stay home. I do feel that some of the amounts awarded to spouses (usually women) are a bit excessive. But on the other hand, to avoid this situation, I think couple, just like I would, need to be in a relationship where both parties are always working, or not for from it lol. I feel that you can raise a perfectly "adjusted child without the mother there 24/7. This would not only make the financial dissolution of the marriage smoother in a lot of cases, but the custody issues too.

But I speak from the point of view of never being married, (but I been in a LT relationship just like one ;-)). Moreover, I'm such a nice guy that I will probably just give my future wife money she can do whatever with, no strings attached ever. So she has peace of mind for whatever, whenever, including a break-up. I'm not one of those people that just write people off because we aren't in a relationship anymore. That's just me and I'm rambling now, anyway...

 

Oh, and those numbers I cited are for ONE child. Sure, you get a 10% discount if you have more than one child in a daycare center, but now you're talking $2000 a month or more to dish out on someone else watching your kids so both parties can work.

Isn't that a little counterproductive??

Factor in mortgage/rent payments, car payments, utilities, groceries, etc, etc, etc.

It adds up VERY quickly.

 

No stirring my friend. But sure, laugh it off, call me a troll and give yourself a pat on the back, makes you feel superior.....eh ? But you can silence me, this site can even ban me. Everyone grows up around women and we men get plenty of opportunity to get to know them. My opinions are based on life experiences and other men who I see. If women really weren't so bad, then hatred of women, even if unjust, would be rare. It's that simple. There is an epidemic of hatred towards women and invalidating my experiences just isn't going to work. Sorry, that's just the facts.

And by the way, I'm too good to respond with violence or anything so trite and barbaric. I'm above it and beyond it. I AM A BETTER MAN. So fear not. You are not speaking to some crazed killer. Indeed most people who know me would never believe I hold these views. The rage I have is carried deep inside. I do not commit acts of violence; I do not lash out verbally. My rage is known only to myself, where it simmers, battling its imaginary foes, who stroll outside none the wiser. And there it remains. And thus do I remain, alone, now and forever. I am a MISOGYNIST I declare it, not proudly, but without shame. I refuse to accept the shame that women have tried to place upon me. I am a MISOGYNIST, without apology to anyone. I'm a MISOGYNIST, from now until women show themselves worthy of something better than hatred. I am a MISOGYNIST from now until the day I die.

 

yes you are a nice guy fresh.
now as for the bolded bit, joan and i have already spoken about the expense of childcare and the pros and cons of it. the only way to avoid that expense and have both parties always working would be to have family around you that are willing to care for your children for you (and become a substitute parent for you). no you do not need to be with your children 24/7 to have them turn out to be perfectly adjusted, but again you need to be a parent to understand the love you have for a child and the need and desire you have to be with them.

 

How can a woman show you anything (not that she has to, but in this case) when you come into the situation with preconceived notions? She can't win for losing with you. I don't see how any barriers can be broken in your world. It's really sad how you harbor such resentment and pent up anger.

 

Yep, they said the same thing about that Nigerian Christmas Day panty freak and other lots of crazed killers.

My advice for you- go to your local clinic or if you're a university student go to student health center and ask for help. This deep seated issue that you got going, if you dont deal with it now, it's bound to get you in major trouble down the road.

 

well lippy thinks that as long as you hate ALL women and not just white women then hate on hater...not sure why you came here to tell us but you sure have created some excitement...for that lippy thanks you...from time to time things creep along at a snails pace around here so even though you don't like women and i am a women you have no idea how much fun it was to read something new:smt026i hope that doesn't piss you off too much to see me enjoying myself:smt096they warned you about me huh? i'm the maneater...

 

If you do not seek psychiatric treatment you have ALL the warning signs of someone who WILL kill. Rage is NOT healthy to carry around and it will poison you until you fucking snap and carve off someone's face or take a shotgun to a bridge club. You need therapy, NOW.

Why? Because the fact that no one who knows you offline knows this shit about you is a BIG red flag. The fact that you have quite vehemently expressed these views on the internet shows that you feel strongly enough about the subject to feel the rage needs to be vented. But the internet is never enough to completely release our emotions especially when they are as fucking strong as yours.

GET HELP. We have enough psychotic assholes out there, you should take responsibility for what you have even self identified as mental bad health and get the help you need before you end up hurting someone before you are on trial citing this goddamn message board conversation as relevant to your insanity plea.

You love judging people based on your own admittedly flawed thinking and speak in absolutes, so here's mine: people who think like you kill someone. You've thought about it or been told that you do enough to expressly mention it. People like you are fucking sick, and those that recognize this and do not seek help before something bad happens should get the death penalty, not a free ride in a mental institution.

 

:smt058 Thanks Fresh.

This is not always the case Andrae. A really good divorce attorney is literally worth his/her weight in gold. It’s always going to be the case that the person who has the most, has the most to lose. But that doesn’t mean they always have to lose it. Sometimes it’s true that women come out ahead in divorce, but sometimes we take it in the shorts on the deal too.

I agree with you on this 100%. I think they should take into account what each partner contributed to the marriage financially and that’s what they get out. So if the wife contributes 70% of the income and the husband contributes 30%, that’s the percentage they get in the settlement. Of course there would need to be exceptions made for one spouse working and putting the other through school, or one spouse quitting work to stay home with the children, etc. But essentially it’s a good place to start. I also think no one should get married without a pre nup. I don’t care how much or how little you have, if it means something to you and you’d like to keep it, get a pre nup.

LOL, now you had to know this wasn’t going to go over well the way you stated it Andrae! But I actually agree with you on spousal support, but that’s because my Ex demanded alimony from me, which frankly really pissed me off. He didn’t do much for 18 years, and I’ll be damned if I was going to mail him a check every month. But that’s where a good divorce lawyer comes into play. I also see Bookie’s point though, if you stay home with your kids and give up your income it does have a negative impact on your resume with some employers. I don’t have an issue with any woman or man who quits working to raise children because it’s a hard job and the monetary rewards aren’t great, though the non-monetary rewards are fantastic at times.

 

I didn't laugh you off. In fact I earlier said you had some good points. But your delivery is too angry. And if you're a misogynist, why are you even here on a BM/WW board? Seems your beef is with ALL women, not just white women.

 

I think you really need to stay out of the 'Self-Help' section of the bookstore/library. Your whole lil' rant sounds like something from a 'How to determine your dating market value in a slow economy' type book. IMO most self-help is drivel written by people who couldn't find their ass with both hands.

And I say again, dating isn't a competitive sport in my book, it may be in yours and everyone else's, but your perception is not my reality. Which leads me to ask, what is your purpose here? You didn't ask a question, and you don't appear to like the opinions you've received, so perhaps you were hoping the men would simply agree with you wholeheartedly, or you merely wanted to stir things up? Boring day at the office perhaps?

Been to Hell recently have you? Something tells me there's more of a gender mix than you think, but honestly that's really not for us to speculate on. Besides which, all we're apparently good for is sex so what's Satan want a bunch of sexually frustrated women for? It just doesn't make sense.

 

Good explanation Books
Also, as the women that stay at home for a while or all the time for the kids or work part time- they have little to no retirement Andrae, you need to take that into account. What is the divorced woman supposed to do when she retires? jump off a bridge??

 

OMG! That's another excellent point! Thanks for bringing that up.

There are sooooo many layers to it, it's hard to come up with everything at once.

 

which i made earlier...jeesh

 

I'm trying to stay out of this thread because I still have an hour and a half left in my birthday; however, I wanted to say that I support the ladies. I'm going back to posting pics of half naked black men. Carry on.

 

I totally missed that part of your post. Sorry. :smt090

We're all dropping knowledge on him. :smt081

 

Now that is absolutely hillarious! you are so lost... epidemic? In your little world... get a grip on reality.

Also, I would wager with the injustice being done to men, women and children in areas of caos and wars in the world- that the vast majority of people in hell are men, not women - or are you so caught up in your "poor me" attitude that you dont see what is going on in the world?

Shees stop this victim mentality and grow some balls and take responsibility for your situation... I suspect you created it yourself with that horrible attitude.
If you treated women better, and approached the correct women - perhaps you would have much better results.

Spend less time here and more in councelling for your own well being.

 

lol...there's so many posts and so many bloody words its easy to lose some bits...!!!! lets hope he's picking up what we're dropping

 

I clearly did too - oops