The Double Standard

You know those things/concepts/ideas/etc. you think about; speak about with others, maybe even try to point it out to the person that's doing it, but you can't or just haven't put into words or your finger on it? This is one of those things you just put into words for me.

I've wanted to tell this to a few people. It's a powerful concept that sounds simple the way you put it, but is or seems so much more complex. I just fell in love with you Espy:smt054

On another note, UB2, it just sounds like you need to get some better "game." Get your "game" up, and you'll naturally feel more confident. As a disclaimer, I will say that I don't mean that you should be out there dating a whole bunch of women and making all of them feel like they are the only one. Don't be a "player," but be smooth & get your "game" up. I don't know anyone that has "game," and shares your sentiment.

 

And he's had ten pages of success.

Damn, that was good popcorn.

 

That's the thing with women sometimes. Make it be about weight or dating from a strictly male point of view, and get the Orville Redenbacher's.

 

It was fun, it ruined half my workday.
Im sure he wont last much longer

 

wasn't it though...!!!!

 

I hate when people sit and complain about the opposite sex. If you're putting out a certain action (knowingly or unknowingly), you're going to get the same if not, a similar reaction. For sake of argument, lets say I attract men who are "dogs" or "players" (thank God I don't) and then I sit and cry about it and blame them, I'm in the wrong. There's something I'm doing or energy I'm putting out there that I'm drawing the same reaction in.

Once, shame on them.

Twice (or in this case, 50x), it's you.

 

Tashi maybe your case is a rarity but I can say based on my parents upcoming divorce my mother will get most of the assets because she earned less money than my dad and she will keep the home because the still have a kid in college under 23. Women usually get the bigger piece of the pie. Not solely because they're women but because they earn less and the person who earns less gets most of the assets.

 

That's a point I have to agree with as well but they really are taken seriously by other women. Men don't have a built in support system like women do so a woman cant rant and be upset about an issue and other women will back up her claim because they are better with feelings then men are. A man makes a claim like you do and you're left standing alone because 1. Men have a hard time dealing with shit like this and if they acknowledge any short comings with women they tend to feel weak and that's when you have people telling you to simply get your game up when we know its a bit deeper than that.
2. No man wants to openly bash women in fear it might mess up there koochie getting ability.

 

Being a male, whether you have kids or not, and these are your parents, do you mind sharing how you feel about the division of assets?

 

Truth be told I feel as though my parents should split all assets down the middle and go their seperate ways and they should both continue to pay for my brother's college education and thats it. I don't think my mom should get spousal support even though she was the wronged party. I think too often people use divorce for a weapon and really begs the ask the question why even get married. It's so messy if you divorce and let's face it you only have a 50/50 chance of success. Poor odds like that aren't good enough for me to bet all my assets.

 

I was just curious, I know a lot of kids that are products of divorce, and I always ask. I do agree with you though, just split it down the middle and move on. In the worst case I feel that the "approaching dissolution of the union" should be treated like business/an account, get the ratio of income to contribution of assets for each party and then split accordingly.

 

i would like to know if your mother stayed home with you and your siblings growing up at some point? you need to take that into account as well, as well as if she worked part-time so she could be around for you all as well. maybe these points contributed to her earning less??? i know they have in my case.
as for women getting the bigger piece of the pie, my parents separated when i was 15. my mother and i left the family home and rented something much smaller. my dad remained in the home and kept all of their belongings. when they sold the family home and once all the debt was paid off, the assets were split 50/50. my mother paid my father child maintenance because he had my 2 younger brothers.
every divorce is different as you can see.

 

In a perfect world it would happen that way but unfortunately love is big business and its way better for the marriage and divorce industry if people squabble and act like fools when they know that in any other business it wouldn't work like that especially in the case of spousal support. That actually upsets me the most. There are no guarantees in any business and one should not be held liable for some one else's well being after the partnership has dissolve but unfortunately we as a country don't view women as equals we view them as children who need to pampered and taken care of. Makes me so sick.

 

an even split would be a wonderful outcome if everyone were on an equal playing field fresh. how about those mothers who can only work part-time because of young children whilst their ex's earn very big bucks for their work. it's the mother and the child who struggle while the father gets to enjoy the fruits of his labor (and be the disney dad on the weekends). there is always a bigger picture than just the right here and now.

 

Tashi I already said that I'm just talking about the majority of cases. My mom worked the whole time it's just that she's a nurse and my dad is an electrical engineer so his job just pays more. She could have had a decade more experience and it wouldn't have made a difference. Truthfully even if she had stayed home with us I think that's the chance you take when you enter into that type of partnership there are no guarantees. Why should a woman get extra money because she stayed home with the kids that's her contribution her choice why does that entitle her to alimony?

 

Holy SHIT you did not just say that!!

You need to grow up. You know why many women get spousal support? Because they stopped working to RAISE THE KIDS!! Do you know how hard it is to get a job when you've been out of the workforce for 18+ years???

Get your head out of your ass.

Women are the ones that mainly take care of the children. Women are the ones that mainly give up careers to raise the kids. (I am also well aware of the many women who bring just as much money to the table as their husbands.) So if a divorce happens and women are granted custody of the children, then they damn well should get support because they're going to need it to continue to raise the kids, only this time it's ON THEIR OWN.

I've had it with your BS.

 

lippy would really like to know when the pampering and taking care of starts...oh that's right i go to work...get a paycheck...pay the bills...take care of my son...and guess what if i want to be pampered i can do it myself because my green money is just the same as any man's:smt019

 

Slow down there sugar briches
1. When I said we as a country don't view women as equals I meant I was disgusted by the way people look at many women as helpless and in need of someone to come to their rescue.

2. As for your childcare arguement. It's your choice to stay home. You could have easily put your kids in childcare millions of people do it and their kids are just fine. You could have worked on your career and chose not to. Why is that you're ex husbands fault. You are in charge of your own body and mind.

3. I am all for child support. If you bring a child into this world you should be financially responsible for your child. However I am totally against spousal support except in extreme cases. Look at it this way if your ex husband was to drop dead what would you be getting then? You'd have to make your own way just like everyone else. Being a stay at home mom is hard work I can recognize that but that's your family contribution as is his contribution is financial. Why should he still be responsible for you after you two stop being a family?

 

You guys keep missing my points

 

Well i can only speak for myself from my experience. i stayed home with the kids because we both agreed that it was the best thing for the children and it was cheaper than putting them in childcare. now that i have been out of the workforce for 8 years and seeking employment, i am aware that employers look at the fact that i am a single mother with 2 young children. they will know that i will need days off when they are sick, and i will also need to work within school hours so i can drop off & pick them up. i will also need the school holidays off. care programs are costly and you end up paying most of your wage on them...i.e. counterproductive. now if we look at superannuation and the fact that i have not earned any in the last 8 years, again, my ex is far better off because he has been getting that while i haven't, so his retirement will be a lot more comfortable whilst mine will not be.

ON THEIR OWN is the key word there. unless you have been or are in that situation, trying to comment on it is pointless. this is absolutely a need to know what you're talking about from experience moment, and sorry andrae that certainly isn't you.