CRAZY STORIES...

I love hearing about peoples stories.

I'd love to hear about crazy shit you've seen, experienced, witnessed, heard about etc.

I'll start:

Back in '91, '92, I was at

with 10 people (9 girls and 1 dude - most of them were my friends). My best friend at the time and I always saw crazy shit and we'd just look at something or someone and think the same thing. I walked past this booth and this lady was sitting there with 3 other people. I didn't want to stare, but I couldn't help it cause she had on some glasses like
(Kool Moe Dee for you youngins and non-Hip Hop fans). Hers were fluorescent green. Then I noticed her eyes resembled a .
Her eye sockets were at the corners of her eyes. It was crazy. I was like wtf? I wondered what kind of condition or disease she has cause I've never seen anything like that. I go back to my table and tell my best friend about it, she saw her too! We're both like wtf? So after that night, when my birthday rolled around, my best friend got me a card with the cat clock on it. The anthem for that experience was:
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We nicknamed her, The "BUGGIN' OUT LADY"

Lawd please forgive me cause I haven't had kids yet.

 

:smt107

 

Okay IB, I went for Chinese food on Thursday and a new liquor store had opened up next door. I took one look at their sign and had to look again...



I'm thinking why would anyone choose that as a name? Maybe they were sampling a little too much inventory when they came up with that? Then I thought I hope that's not actually their last name! WTF? You gotta know that the rest of their neighbors are just really thrilled with it too.


.

 

Maybe my mind is overly sexual but I find the one that Says Agape quite interesting lol.

 

Okay it not a crazy story, but its pretty funny, go back to 2004 I'm working on my hire desk my comrade Alex by my side, phone rings i answer "Goodmorning this is *** Francene speaking" the guy on the other end goes " Morning big tits, how the fuck are ya" i go "Uhmm I'm fine" he was so chipper, I didn't have the heart to say I'm not the big tits he's looking for,
he's like going off into some tangent about he's not spoken to me in weeks and when we meeting up, I know I don't know him (francie always recognises her bitches) by this point Alex is standing next to me listening because of my frantic listen to this wave, anyway my silence seems to do the trick and he stops talking and says "you still there?" I say again really slowly "Goodmorning this is francene speaking" poor bloke was horrified was apologising, i said it was cool you got big tits, but not the right one, he called back again to apologise.

Another story maybe not crazy but interesting, I used to be a regular at this mainly black club 30% white roughly, anyway because it was by one get one free b4 half eleven it was practicaly my favourite place ever me and Becks used to recognise our fellow regulars, there were these 2 blonde girls very tall always wearing short Denim skirts there every Friday
(they never seemed to drink, so buy one get one free wasn't what dragged them there)
Well as the months passed us by, they adopted very elaborate hairstlyes one I remember was a behive type of style that seemed to fight against gravity, then it was hats, big kind of rasta hats or really baggy baker boy hats, they used to take themselves so seriously it was entertainment to watch, I dubbed them the Hatty girls (we are the hatty girls you are the minging boys) spin on Cheeky girls.
Ok so one night we get there and 2nd tallest hatty girl now has dreads really odd looking dreads that she did not have the week before, my pal was standing next to her and she's swingin her new look and some of her hair swings onto Becks lit ciggarette, the bloody hair that had fell on it set alight, sort of went bright then stopped burning half way up without the girl even noticing, ahh we laughed so much after i nearly wet myself waiting for the Taxi

 

lippy owns this clock...received it as a present from an old boyfriend....looks cute with my original 1950s dinette set

 

Nobody has a crazy story to share?

Thanks for the good laughs Espy and Francie....

Once again, I was in Dennys (shit always seems to happen there and the crazies come out at night) and I was sitting at a booth with 3 of my friends and across from the booth was the counter. I see this guy - who looks like a cross between Robert Caradine (Revenge of the Nerds) and Woody Allen mixed in with a serial killer. I happened to glance over cause he looked weird. I noticed he had on ripped jeans and I could see some lace thing sticking out of the holes. I'm like WTF? So I tell my girls. They of course look over and they're laughing. I told them to not laugh, cause he'll get off on it. Surely, he went outside and came back in. His pants were sagged and you could see he had on a garter belt with lace stockings. I'm like oh lawd, here we go. They couldn't stop talking about him. I again told them, that he's loving this and we need to stop. Well, finally, we finished our meal and paid the check and we walk out to the car. He drops his pants, opens his jacket and flashes us his dick. One of my friends like, "Oh my God!!!!!!! Hurry!!!!!!!! Open the door!!!!!!!". I was so numb from laughing and I couldn't open the door. Finally I did and we drove off, disgusted and laughing our asses off.

 

One night back in high school, me and my friends were shooting out windows with my slingshot, and I was in the backseat, and his car had that child safety bullshit, so the window rolled like 2/5 of the way down. I pulled back, and let go, and shattered his fuckin' window. Me and my friend in the backseat were dead ass silent, and my friend driving was like "hell yeah!!! Good shot, man." Then he looked back and saw his window gone, and said "FUCK MAN!!!!". Shit was hella funny. That was the end of our rampaging spree that semester. But hell, we left our mark. Hella more cops out at night. shit.

Another night back in high school, we were out flipping cars, and we ran up on this Bettle and flipped it, and as soon as we pulled off, the fucked flipped back on it's wheels. Like dumbasses, we went back and finished the job. Then we all just piled back in the car. The side I was sitting on was on the other side, but I said fuck it, and dove through the right side, all the way to the left side. My friend thought I got crushed by the car, when he didn't see me. He was like "Oh SHIT!! Where'd he go!?", and I said "right here, man". Then we drove off and proceeded to flip more shit.

Another night, which was the first night we went out wrecking shit, we were 3 cars deep, and like 8 of us got out and started smashing this car, and my 330 pound friend got up on the windshield and jumped and just dropped right through that fucker, and fucked up his leg. I was too weak to stomp out windows so I took out the side view mirrors, with this flying kick that I dubbed the "Liu Kang", and while in mid-air, my friend jumped off the roof and landed on my neck, and I fell. I thought I was paralyzed, for a second. Then I had to get my ass back to the car. That shit was scary.

Got a bunch of other stories like these, but these are the ones me and my friends remember the most, and thought were hella funny.



Man, I miss those days.

 

all my crazy stories would probably be just a major downer to everyone.

 

Hoodlum!

 

Yup, our boredom could be solved with almost anything back in high school. We did some pretty fucked up shit. I hope nobody was late for work or lost their job when they couldn't use their car the next day.

 

i'll give you my address...all the cars parked in front of my house don't belong to me...they belong to my asshole neighbor...feel free to come by later tonight and have all the fun you want:smt074

 

WOW BA!

 

Back in the day, my girls and I used to go Cruising. One night, after the Riots here in L.A., we went out. It was me, 3 of my girls and my dog all packed in my car. As we're driving, we see these dudes taking those sewer warning-protector-cover things and throwing them up in the air. There was this car in front of us with 3 heavy-set women. Those dudes took those things and bashed their windows with it. They were stuck there. They somehow stalled too. It was crazy. I had a club (steering wheel lock thingy) and pulled it out. It broke into two parts. I told my 2 friends in the backseat, that if someone did something, just to start swinging that shit. My friend and I had the other half. Nothing happened to us. But that same night, there was a crowd and we couldn't drive through. This dude pulled near my car and was somewhat blocking me. He was interested in one of my friends in the backseat. He asked her name and she said it was Shane. My friend in the front seat, started calling the dude Shane. She was like, "Okay, Shane, it was nice meeting you", and we're like noooo, she's (my friend in the back) Shane! lol I was able to maneuver and get us out of that chaos. Then another dude thought my dog was cute and was admiring her...lol

 

I'll gather up my squad. We're back in business.

 

Here's one that's less of a downer and more of a "wtf??!".

My ex sister in law graduated with a worthless AA degree from the community college, but since my ex husband's family is a bunch of ignorant, stupid rednecks it was a big deal that someone at least tried to get an education (regardless of the fact that she never even tried to get a job). So my ex father in law drove in from Colorado and after the graduation ceremony decided he wanted to take us all (Me, my ex, his sister, and her then husband) out to celebrate.

His idea of celebration turned out to be driving around in the middle of nowhere getting drunk on tequila while he was behind the wheel (ex father in law) and getting as high as possible. So there I was, scared as fuck because Mr. Alcoholic had chugged half a bottle of Cuervo gold and was driving us all around through some very narrow and curvy roads through the mountains. Of course he wouldn't hear any sense though there were three other (two sober) drivers in the car (I didn't have my license at the time) who could have driven but he wouldn't let anyone drive his shitty car.

Eventually we ended up at the ex father in law's aunt's house, still back in BFE (which is most places in WV). It was fine at first, I was relaxing because we were no longer driving (I have big problems with people driving drunk) but he kept on drinking until he finished the whole bottle of tequila. After just a short while of sitting around talking to his aunt he started getting "Crying Drunk" on us and started accusing my ex husband of "shooting blanks" because we'd been married almost a year and I wasn't pregnant.

Not too long after he started crying he got angry, and started yelling at everyone. His aunt had had enough at this point and told him he needed to leave or else she would call the police. So he started stumbling toward the car and refused to go. I told my ex husband I didn't want to die and that man was going to kill us all with how drunk he was. So we woke up the ex sister in law's then husband (who was passed out drunk in the back seat while all this was going on) and made him get out of the car. This just incited my ex father in law worse, who kept saying (while half falling down) that he was fine to drive and insisted we get in the car. When we refused and started walking down the road hoping like fuck there was a pay phone somewhere remotely close (we were back in BFE, remember) the ex father in law started following us trying to make us get in the car. Then he and the then husband of my ex's sister started arguing and gettng in each others' face. I tried to pull the younger away from the older and the ex father in law nearly fucking pulled out my earring because he grabbed the side of my face and tried to push me down. So my ex husband got pissed an was going to hit him but I pulled him off and just begged to go to the phone to call someone to come get us.

So finally the ex father in law got in the car and drove off in the other direction. He hit the ditch with his car less than a mile down the road, too, which proved my idea that he was going to have an accident.


The real crazy shit happened after this.

So we were walking in the direction opposite, my ex's grandma was on her way to pick us up, but we were about an hour away driving so it was going to be a while. A couple of state troopers passed us, likely going back to the aunt's house as I believe someone called the cops during the pushing and crap, but they never spoke to us. We just walked, and when we got like a half a mile down the road this car passed us. Then around the mountain it turned and passed us the other direction. This kept going on for a while, until during one pass they threw a big ass cup of beer out the window and hit us with it. We were already on the edge of the road above a drop off of at least 50 feet (we were walking up a mountain)so we were kinda cramped, and I think the ex sister in law almost fell when the cup hit her.

So the guys, both rednecks, got even more pissed off and my ex walked into the middle of the road like a dumbass to get the license plate number.

When this happened, the car slammed on it's breaks and then floored it in reverse. Hit my ex husband and knocked him flying around 15 feet.

Instantly my ex sister in law's then husband leaped through the open passenger side window and stabbed the passenger at least 5-10 times in the stomach.

Then the car sped off. We called an ambulance and the police but none showed. The grandmother eventually got to us and we took my ex to the hospital, and the police were supposed to meet us there to take a statement. Still they didn't show. I had to call my aunt, who works for the state police, who personally called one of the officers she's friends with who finally came to talk to us. Apparently, despite two 911 calls the police had somehow not realized anything had happened at all. There was nothing on record to even indicate we had called.

I still to this day don't know who the people in the car were, if the passenger was fine or not, or why the fuck they were following us and harassing us. There were theories, but nothing concrete. The cops never even looked for them, and no charges were filed against the ex sister in law's then husband for stabbing the passenger.


Now if that's not a crazy story I don't know wtf is.

 

Holy shit... My life is b o r i n g !!!!!!!

 

WHO-LEE SHIT!! That is extremely crazy drunkeness and violence. God damn.

 

I doubt that JAB. I'm sure you have something in the archives.

Thank God everything worked out for you Persephone.

One time, when I was 15, I went bike riding. There were 7 of us (2 girls and 5 boys). Myself and 4 of the boys went riding down to what is now a mall. There was this underground tunnel. We ride through it and it's kind of scary. The first dude gets to the end of the tunnel and shouts, "He has a gun!", then starts riding back the way we came. I of course am last and could be easily hit. I'm like, "Oh shit!". So we ride out and get out of the tunnel and we saw some cops and one of the guys told them what happened. Next minute, while we're all walking up this hill to go back to one of the guys' house, we see like 10 police cars pull up.

Another time, I was driving with 2 of my girls and we drove down this street. We see all these dudes standing outside with guns drawn like some shit out of a movie. They were obviously gangstas (gangbangers). I put my car in reverse and drove out of there so fast. It was crazy.

Lastly for these gun stories. I went to my friends' (I had a lot who attended a different high school) Afterprom. One of my best friends and I were standing outside waiting for them to clear out the party prior to the Afterprom. So as we're standing (by the way, I ripped my dress when I got out of the car and had to by some safety pins to pin my dress...lol) outside the venue, a car drove by at the corner and shot (and killed) this dude. The cops came and put the sheet over the guy. A lot of people left - of course since there was a shooting, a death and the vibe was killed. We stayed and we tried to make the best of the night, but it wasn't the same and my dress made it annoying as well.

 

That's one of the morE tame stories.