Pick-up artists/Seduction Gurus

You're young ES, give yourself a break. The more people you are exposed to in your life, the more you learn. The fact that you recognize that people rarely show you who they are early on will serve you well.

 

It is very rare you will find anyone willing to get better acquainted with someone he or she does not find physically attractive.

There are some that will call a person shallow to make them feel guilty of their preferences. At times, it does work. However, the hidden agenda is for you to lower your standards so they can meet your criteria.

You should not feel apologetic to something you find attractive. In order to make someone happy, you need to be content with yourself. Do keep that in mind.

I can assure you, I’ve met many girls who have the same thought patterns as yourself.



Cheers!

 

I think some people have people who grow on them and they eventually find them attractive. For me, that hasn't always worked out. I ended up being turned off, hence why that initial spark is important (for me anyway).


Well, I can't help how I feel, so therefore I deal with it. I wish I wasn't so big on attraction cause then I'd have more chances of finding someone.

 

I'm curious. How old r u?

 

I'm 37...

Old to some, young to others.

 

I was just wondering if we as people get to a certain age where we don't focus on the physical that much.

 

I don't focus on it, but it comes with the territory of me being attracted to someone. I like to have someone float my boat in manyy aspects. I like my mind, heart (and of course my body) stimulated as well.

Trust me, if I were to go into depth with you, you'd see theres more to the surface of what I deem attractive.

 

Im 63 and I just want Mimbos!!!!!





























j/k

 

Are they wearing Mongs?

 

But of-course!!!!!
:smt005

 

LOL

But no MOOBS!

They're not allowed.

 

Gawd NOOOOOO!!!

 

So IB, Im assuming your watching Cougartown eh???
;-)

 

I'm not sure it's a feature of age Andrae, perhaps more of an individual case by case thing. I've known several people who always had a very specific physical type that they went after, who later ended up in a relationship with someone who absolutely didn't fit their typical profile at all. Sometimes it's a matter of meeting someone you would never look for, only to find out that you really like everything else about them. In those situations love grows out of friendship, like GZ suggested. IMO sometimes the best relationships start out as great friendships, once that's established sometimes you see someone in a completely different light.

And for the people who absolutely look for the physical first, I don't think that makes you shallow, merely human. Men and women can be very visual, and yes perhaps men are more prone to that. It doesn't make them wrong, it's their life to live and they should pursue whatever makes them happy. If someone simply can't fathom dating someone who is less than an 8 on their scale, then don't. It's your choice. Do I think it limits your ability to meet that perfect someone, most likely, but that doesn't mean you won't meet them anyway, it may just take longer. It's like the saying, 'you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince' (and that is in no way meant to imply that I think men are frogs, amphibians, or disgusting).

 

LOL! I like that show. Is it on now? I thought Weds?

 

Thank you for summing that up Ms. Espy. As usual, your post is on point.

For me, the guy doesn't have to be an 8 or a model, nor does anyone else have to find him attractive, but I do. That's how I operate. I need that as fuel in my relation to a man and wanting to pursue something more with him or any suitor for that matter.

 

No, I was just refering to something they said on the show about Mongs not to long ago...

 

Oh okay...lol

LOL @ that word.

I was teaching my Moms what a gunt was. LMAO!!!!!!

 

Nah! I would love to have seen her facial expression

 

No one is likely to want to date someone they don't find attractive IB, the issue is that attraction means different things to different people. For some it's physical; height, weight, muscular or not, eye color, hair color, skin color, etc. For others it's intrinsic; personality, sense of humor, confidence, etc. So someone you found gorgeous might not appeal to me at all, and someone I found attractive might not meet your definition of attractive. Neither of us is wrong, we just know what works for us and we stick to it... pretty sure that makes us the smart ones? It's the people who go around trying to force themselves to 'settle' that aren't bright IMO.

A friend asked me recently to name 3 black men, a top 3 of sorts. I listed the following in no particular order:

- George Foreman - For going the entire fight with Holyfield and never sitting down despite his age at the time.

- MLK for ultimately giving his life for something he believed in and for having such a lasting positive impact.

- Charles Drew for his work in the field of blood transfusions.

Now I should note he was timing me and I only had 2 mins to choose. When I finished he commented 'I note you chose them for what they contributed and not what they look like'. Of course I replied 'You didn't specify you wanted me to choose based upon looks. If that's what you wanted you should have said so.' To which he replied 'I was specifically vague, so I could gauge how your mind works.' I realized that pretty much summarizes how my mind works, I never describe anyone physically first, it's always things like 'he's really amusing, he's very intelligent, he's a complete ass', and never 'OMG he's so f-ing handsome, or he's white, or he's black, or he's 6' tall'. Why my mind works that way I don't 100% understand, but I do realize it's not something I can change at this point in my life.