That IR Self-Hate Argument

How do you folks deal with this one. Why is it always assume by people who do not approve (though they will not always say so) of black men married to white women that the only reason you are married to them is that you suffer from self-hate of your own kind. I know the same thing occurs to white women married to black men who are questioned on this self-hate of their own simply because they decided to marry outside of their race. Does it requires a response or none at all? Personally, I'm getting a bit tired and pissed about this racial loyalty bullshit as if to say you as an individual has NO RIGHT to look outside of the box and be independent in how you live your life. I'm at the point to say "F" the race if it's brought up again. What do you think or how would you respond?

 

I think people need a scapegoat, so they sum it and say someones self-hating. I think when it comes to America, slavery has a lot to do with this issue.

 

In my experience, every single person making claims of "self hate" against any interracial couple is covering up for their own racism.

 

I concur with you IB. For black people it's a constant battle to find love and appreciation of self because our history has been centuries of being told we're lesser beings and being treated that way so some might see a bm going for a ww as a way to deal that historical pain. "If anything my kids will be lighter and not have the same stigma"
For ww people usually say that because it's a class thing. "Why would you be with someone beneath your station especially when there's plenty of good wm out there"
it's a basic example of some white people as seeing us as not good enough and some black people feeling as if we aren't good enough because seeing a good bm dating a ww exemplifies that.

 

That's the line of thinking I had when I replied to this thread, but I wasn't in the mood to go into detail.

I think the bolded part sums it up to answer the question perfectly.

With White people, it's never called a "self hate" thing. It's exactly how you described it. I remember I had a psychic reading from this lady and she knew I liked BM. She went on to tell me that I had low self esteem (because I date BM). I started to debate with her cause I felt she was wrong. I don't mirror myself off of some man. I attract WM, but I'm not interested, Her son was married to a BW, so maybe she was taking out her unresolved issues out on me. It goes along with what you said in someone thinking it's beneath them etc.

 

The self-hate card is never played when WM or BW date IR.

It's just a weak attempt to shame BM back to the sidelines while BW and WM continue to fuck who they damn well please.

 

I want to give you rep for this, but I have to spread it first:-(

 

BT, I must say that I've never experienced anything that you talk about over here. I've dated quite a few men from different cultures and countries than my own and I've never been hit with the self-hate card. I must say that I think it's an American thing.

 

This is news to me...I love myself very much. I am an equal opportunity racist. I will make jokes about everyone including black folks because honestly, we all (all races) take ourselves too seriously when it comes to B.S. and not seriously enough when it comes to things that are ACTUALLY important.

 

Wow that's real talk kid.

 

You have a good point. I have mostly noticed this "self-hate" sentiment expressed by older people. Of course, I have stopped designating on my personal ads that I am interested in WW for this very reason. I am proud to be black but prefer to look outside the box.

 

Kinda sorta mebbe no *need* to spread it..

The 'scapegoating' factor is sooooooooooooo evident *everywhere ya go!*

But....every little bit to foster awareness *does* help, yes?



















OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK

 

huh? Im not following at all.

I lost the key to desipher your code so I dont understand your message.
;-)
By spreading it, I was refering to giving rep to the poster.
If you try to give it to close together to the same person, you will get a message that say "you need to spread your reo before giving it to X again".

 

Call it gross misinterpretation on my part..

I thought "spreading it" referred to...like, you know...spreading the word about this problem (People construing IR as 'self-hatred') that goes on..

This, what you refer to, is....a process done through 'internal channels'...



"I see", said The Blind Carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw..














OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK

 

LOL, I figured as much.....
:smt055

 

:smt033I'll tell you what I hate as a black man:

Ashiness!

Ashiness is black people's kryptonite! We've had a struggle against Ash since the beginning of time!!

We've employed all kinds of lotions and creams in our struggle.....BUT STILL, after you get out of the shower....ASHINESS!!

...to my vanilla sisters, when you have mocha kids...don't forget to buy large quantities of lotion, lest your kids dry-up in a fierce wind and shatter.

:smt112

...ok, now back to this very serious topic.

 

Lol I always cocoa butter up my boy after we're out the shower.

 

Cocoa Butter is definitely my weapon of choice. I keep Palmers on-deck at all times!!:smt025

 

I thought you had your own specially-made lotion and conditioners. :smt102 If you aren't using it, I want to return my order.