Do you believe in divorce?

Guys,

Upon my curiosity, do you believe in divorce? If ya do, well I don't believe in divorce at all. I believe in love that overcome everything.

 

That's because you are young and haven't had the experience yet of marriage.

While I do believe that there is an overabundance of frivolous divorces (divorces for things that aren't that serious) because it's quite common to get a divorce nowadays...there are many, many cases where nothing can overcome the fact that the person you married changed in a way you never saw coming and that divorce is the only option.

 

Nice thought but very unrealistic

 

Not to be rude, but being young has nothing to do with it. People being divorce in the process is wrong, it's just that why do people married? For a love? Or is it for money?

My grandparents never got divorced in the first place, sure they fought a lot, in the end, they love each other very much no matter what the situation turns out to be. Perhaps my grandfather don't believe in divorce as well? Love teach us and grow up to endure the pain no matter how hurt it must be.

And I have already experienced that. When I was teenager, I was a fool to be so blind in love. Though that getting married would be so easy, but no, it's very tough. You have to be very committed to one other and honor the vows you swear to took upon it.

Now I'm getting older and already becomes very mature. Love is what it has taught me to endure the relationship no matter how bad it must be, one must forgive one other through the terrible ordeals.

And I never cheated on my previous relationships, but they weren't lasted longer the way I wanted them to be. Bookworm, I'm ready to getting married in the process in the future.

To me, Divorce is not the option to get out of the marriage. Divorce is wrong, you know? Unless you're marrying right person you love the most in your heart, that you can endure throughout the relationship itself.

You, my friend, being young has nothing to do with it. Only love can teach you to endure it all. That's how I'm matured now.

Just to express my opinion on all this divorce issue, that's all. I hope you understand what I'm saying here.

 

I believe in unicorns.

Still, sometimes divorce is necessary when two people get married for all the wrong reasons or if infidelity is rampant in their household. (unless they agree upon an 'open' relationship).

 

I hate the fact that people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Marriage is not a toy to begin with, it's very serious commitment right before god's very eyes!

Divorce is banned in Philippines, because of Christianity is the largest religious that strongly against the divorces itself. So now California is in the process to protects traditional marriages, they want to ban divorce.

I'm in all for it to ban divorce. I'm catholic, you know? Marriage is very sacred to begin with, it's something that people shouldn't toy to begin with.

 

If we banned divorce, domestic violence cases between married couples would increase and 'open' relationships would become much more prevalent.

Not to mention the impact it would have on families as a whole.

As if divorcing wasn't already bad enough.

 

i don't know any of my divorced friends (nor myself) who got married for the wrong reasons. we've all married for love and realised down the track that it was no longer working for various reasons and ended up with broken marriages. before the marriages ended we all tried very hard to make things work, but some things are not meant to be.
my great aunt never divorced her husband and he was a nasty drunk and used to beat her. do you believe because of the contract they entered that she should of remained with him or gotten out??? in my opinion she should of left the marriage and tried to have some sort of life that didn't include abuse and beatings.

 

I'm wiff dawg. I ain't down with this divorce thang at all.

If you want my respect, stay married no matter what.

Divorce is for suckers!

 

Love does not conquer all.
There are things that are not compromisable...

Knowing what I know today, I would insist on couples/marriage councelling for a few sessions before getting married to have an outsider running through all scenairos so you KNOW you are on the same page.

Even then, sometimes things happen that tear people apart, priorities may change for one partner on something that is not compromisable etc.

I think some people get divorced way too easily, but there are also people that stay together and really should not be together.

Unfortunately, divorce is acctually sometimes the only right answer.

 

I was young when I got married and I am still young. But sometimes divorce is a better option. I don't know how old you are but from my own personal experience, I got married too young and thought I knew what I was doing. Even though going through a divorce is one of the hardest things I have been through, it was a decision that had to be made. Some people can go through marriage counseling and everything but some things never change. It's even harder when children are involved from my own opinion. Of course I hope that all marriages work out but they don't. I know I definitely don't want to be miserable my whole life. I do hope you know where I am coming from though.

 

Divorce is an option, but I come from a traditional family. My grandparents weren't a match made in Heaven, but they stayed married till death did 'em part. My parents will be married 55 years in March and my sister just celebrated her 29th Anniversary with her husband whom she's been with since she's 12. I have several family members who are divorced, but marriage is still key and the goal. "Shacking up" and "out of wedlock" children are looked down upon.

I don't think people take marriage seriously these days. Some people look at it as an antiquated institution. Then you see the fear that some men have. Not only cause some of them don't want to be "tied down" per se, they have a big fear of being taken to the cleaners financially. Men aren't favored in Divorce or Family court. Some men like to keep that door open. My brother is one of those men. He stays in very long term committed relationships, but fears to put a ring on it.

 

I understand what you're saying.

Love can conquer many things. But sometimes people grow apart, they fall out of love for some reason....for me, I couldn't stay married to the man that fathered my child.

Why?

Because he sat down and told me on more than one occasion how he could kill me and get away with it. I sent many emails to friends and asked them to keep them in case something happened to me.

Sorry, love does NOT conquer all. There are many, many, many instances where divorce is the ONLY option. I had no choice but to leave him. If some man is going to play those kinds of mind games with me (that's all they were, he never laid a hand on me), then I say, FUCK HIM. I don't want to be married to a man like that.

Love does NOT conquer all. You have to go into every one of your relationships (friends, lovers, every type) with your eyes WIDE OPEN, and never, EVER ignore red flags. EVER.

That's a lesson I learned the hard way.

;-)

 

Love doesn't hurt.
Love isn't something to be "endured".

I'm disturbed by the fact that you think marriage is to be endured no matter how much it hurts. That just makes me sick, quite frankly.

Marriage isn't a prison sentence. It's not a punishment, so if it hurts, something is wrong.

No one can see into the future. You have to take life as it comes and if, around the corner, you realise the marriage isn't working...then try to fix it. If you can't, get out of it and both of you start a new life.

Divorce isn't something evil and neither are the people who do it. However I do believe some people divorce too quickly now days.

AND I agree...Love does NOT conquer all. Believing that it does is just plain naïve.

 

That he told you?
I believe you, although I cannot believe how stupid you have to be to say something like this- sorry, I know it´s your Ex!
I am a peaceful person, but that would be definitly a reason to call the "task force".

I had a female friend and suddenly she had a blue eye, and other hurts. First she denied, what was happening, later she admitted. Police, she tried, but it didn´t help in that case. We send him some Russians to talk to him at his working place, nothing else, to show him that he is not dealing with one single only and he understood quite well and never showed up again.

I really think that sometimes you have to see red flags realistic and have to react immediatly with an iron hand. Involved people many times cannot, it´s a friends job in that situations.

 

Wow. You know some pretty powerful people. That's great that you were able to take care of that situation in as peaceful a manner as possible.

As for me, I knew he would never follow through. It was just total mind games on his part. But there was still a small part of me that thought, well he did say it. I left when it was safe for us to do so. And now he's back to the man he used to be.

I ignored red flags at the beginning of the relationship. He would make up lies to people, his family, everyone....about stupid stuff, but it showed his character, and I let it go. Oh well. Lesson learned.

 

Wow bookie glad you had the courage to leave before he hurt you.

 

I couldn't agree more. If you're with someone that makes you hurt all the time (emotionally, physically, etc), then you should NOT stay. Marriage isn't a prison sentence.

You have one life. It's to be lived, not endured. :smt023

 

Thank you. I went through it and made myself a stronger, healthier person. :smt023

 

Thank you Bookie, but they are not powerful, just brutal. But yes, I am well connected worldwide, sometimes, whether I or colleagues of me survive or not depends on the people you know, at least if you work with Africa.

Let me tell you a story to come back to the topic.
We had a new client in Uganda and unfortunatly we just knew one person of the government there. So we had to operate differently. We send two groups at first (Russians), afterwards one of my partner and a friend were going there, three days later I followed them. When I reached Kampala, got out of the plane and switched on my phone..I received minimum one hundred smses from all parts of the world that I may not enter this country. I was shocked and called one person in Switzerland what happened. He told me, I cannot cross the border at the airport, all was a trap, my partner and his friend were arrested. What could I do? You need to understand, the airport of Kampala is small, just one room, no ticket desk or anything else. So I called these russian guys for background security either to observe where they bring me, if they take me at the border or to pick me up and to bring me to their place, because we knew police was already waiting at my booked hotel. I was the only person, who had the auhority to sign for banktransfers.
We were prepared for any kind of robbery, but not for an extortion with involved police.

That person in Switzerland tried to get that Minister and found him via people in USA and Saudi Arabia, he was on holidays. He "forced" that man from Uganda to interrupt his holidays and to travel back to Uganda. My people were released and we went home together. One experience richer.

The point, why I tell you that story is, that I and my best friends understand friendship as something else as most people do. One of them, the person who organized all of that case I trust with my life, blind. I know, where ever I have a problem, he risks his life and would kill others to get me out and the same I would do for him.

This person is my Ex-husband, he is married again and they have a 3year old son. Divorce must not always end horrible. It was the right decision for us and we were able to respect the wishes and desires of each other. It is a clean love without sexual attraction- but the strongest friendship I will ever have.