Relationship/Life Advice

After browsing a bunch of articles supposed to help one with the trials and tribulations of life and relationships, I realized something: a lot of these people writing these articles really have no idea about what goes on in real relationships and/or lives. They seem to be living in bubbles of naivete. It'd be amusing if it weren't so sad.

It makes me want to take their jobs. lol

So I ask you this: Would you like some -real- advice? If so, ask away! I like to help, and it certainly wouldn't hurt to gather together some writing samples in case I could actually make a little cash on the side writing crap on the internet, so let me be your Dear Abbie.

If there are privacy concerns, asksweetnikki@gmail.com is where you can send your questions, and I'll post the answers here and by email, with names removed.

 

Dear Nikki/DH

Thank you for your offer, I am really happy you don't live in one of those "bubbles of naivete" and would like to call upon your wide experiences of the world.

I trade a number of cfd's across multiple exchanges, and after applying fibonacci retracements to the Active Wave on my charts, I like to monitor the Retracement Channel and then determine my entry point. I also believe the decision to go long or short is best determined by candlestick analysis.

What adjustments, if any, would you make to the above methodology when trading a completely new index or derivative?

 

[Edited slightly for anonymity and readability]


Dear Nikki,

I'm an african american male in the south so, racism is no stranger to me. I've been having this issue lately that I'm not exactly comfortable with. I have come across many [a specific race] people since I've moved and started going to school. The problem is that I've disliked every one that I've come into contact with and have found no reason to like anyone of the race. When I point this out to people it sounds very racist obviously but, that not what I'm going for at all. Any advice?

Sincerely, not a racist



Dear not a racist,

I've had this type of discussion with a few different people since I moved to Houston. I actually have a friend who, despite claims to the latter, truly is very racist concerning a group of people, especially those of that descent in his native London. You don't sound like him, however, so I'll spare you the verbal lashing I've given him on numerous occasions.

My advice to you is that, despite your obvious bad experiences (which I am sorry to hear about), you shouldn't let a small amount of people change your view on an entire race. While it is completely understandable to encounter people we don't like, or don't get along with, you must always remember that every person is different. Eventually you may encounter one or more people of that race that are very much like you in interests and personality. Or you may just find a few individuals who may be different yet can click with you easily.

Or you may never have a friend of that race. If that's the case, just try to remind yourself not to judge others based on similar individuals you've encountered in your past, and always try to give people the benefit of a doubt. Hopefully you will be blessed enough to find someone of that race that can change your mind.

Perhaps you've just encountered the wrong people. Think of it this way: would you want people judging you harshly because you are black, simply because they've never met a black person they liked yet? I doubt you would. I've met many people of many different races and many different personalities...some I've liked, some I've not, but I always remind myself that just because one person may have been a bad apple I should not apply that to others who are similar in physical appearance because everyone is unique.

For your sake, I hope that someone of that race becomes your friend in the future, that way you can fully appreciate and understand the beautiful diversity on our Earth. Just try to keep an open mind, you may be pleasantly surprised!

Love, Nikki

 

[Edited slightly for anonymity and readability]



Dear Nikki,

I have recently started dating a younger guy. I'm only a few years older than him, but it still feels kind of weird, since I've only ever dated older men before. I'm 23 and he's 19. I really like him a lot, but it feels strange. Is there something wrong with me?

- CradleRobber


Dear CradleRobber,

I've been in similar situations before, and I felt the same. All the men I've ever dated have been between 3-6 years older than me, so when I found myself in a relationship with a man 4 years my junior it felt odd.

You have to think of it this way: aside from his age, is there anything else about him or the relationship that bothers you? If he's a nice young man, respects you, and seems able to contribute to a mature, healthy relationship, then there's absolutely no reason you shouldn't date him!

If the age issue is really something you can't get over, though, then you might need to end it. While something as trivial as age shouldn't dictate your relationship choices, if it truly bothers you and you cannot rid yourself of the nagging worry then it will only serve to hurt your relationship in the future.

I'd say give it a while. After a while I didn't think of my boyfriend's age any more at all, and my own relationship has become the most fulfilling I've ever had.

They say that women mature faster than men, which, in the cases where it is true, can leave even a slightly older woman light years ahead of her mate. Try not to think of the actual numbers, operate on maturity. Some people are far more mature than their age says they should be, and if you feel that your boyfriend is on a similar level then you'll be fine. If he acts like a 12 year old, though, and you find his lack of maturity constantly irking you, then maybe you should re-think the relationship.

If the relationship is still extremely new you'll probably want to give it a while to see how things go. After a while, once you're more comfortable, talk to him about it. He may be able to help you feel better about the issue.

In the end, as long as he's a good person and you make each other happy, you should be fine. He obviously doesn't mind the age difference or else he wouldn't want to be with you in the first place, so you're probably worrying about nothing at all. Just relax and enjoy each other's company!

Love, Nikki

 

A little advice?

Think more about your answers and edit them down to a more 'user friendly' size. No one wants to read paragraphs of information when they ask a question. People want a nice quick, concise answer. There's just too much info in these answers (which is also confusing). Adding (your) personal information is fine, but giving too much takes the focus off the person asking the question.

This is just my opinion, of course. Feel free to ignore it totally. But I thought that if you were serious about maybe wanting to do this as a 'side project', you might like some constructive criticism.

 

I was just doing it for fun. I type a lot, it's my style. But ah well. Doesn't look like anyone here is interested. Those questions came from people on facebook, not here. Just thought I'd share. I guess I'll just do it by email instead.

 

I think the thread is a good idea and could be interesting.

 

Agreed.

DH, there just hasn't been a lot of traffic on this forum lately. This thread is a good idea. I've been trying to come up with a way to word a question for you. Never fear, people will ask! :smt023

 

You are speaking my language, In addition to what you are already doing, I would also track the stochastic line, daily moving average (to account for false bumps) as well as looking for momentum trades based on volume and industry interest from large institutional firms (both private and public). Other than that your methodology is very sound, always employ stop-losses, at least 8% below current entry.

 

I think it's a good idea. Give us some time to get our questions to you. I have been a bit busier this week with Christmas party/shopping things and haven't thought of a question but I will.

 

what she said. i've been busier than petty's e-corner the last week with christmas do's.

 

Dear Nikki,

I seem to attract very attractive married women or beautiful women with baggage. Is there any remedy out there that I can rub on my body to push off these folks, and attract a fertile one with no accessory who is ready to mate?

Thank you.
Your Confuesd and loyal reader.

 

lippy was going to give you her advice in a rep comment but i hit the button too soon and didn't get to write anything

advice from lippy: buy a plane ticket, get to the airport, fly to LA, snap up FG before she meets someone new...just an idea...i don't believe she is married...she is gorgeous...recently single again...no baggage...what the hell are you waiting for gz

:smt050

 

I am really not in to those fiesty Swedish women tho, LoL. Didn't you see what happen to Tiger woods Car? :smt005.

 

lol...Just when I needed a break from homework, too.

Dear Confuesd (sic) and Loyal Reader,

Though the seriousness of your inquiry is in question, I can certainly say there's no magick cream to rub on your body to attract a young, single, beautiful, fertile, and baggage-free woman.

If you're actually serious, though, my suggestion is to examine yourself thoroughly. See what it is about yourself that attracts these sort of women. Do you give off the "I wanna bang you behind your husband's back" vibe? Often times we send out signals beyond our actual intentions, and it causes the wrong people to approach us.

Avoiding friendships with women in relationships can also help ward them off. A lot of people have more trouble having platonic relationships with people of the opposite sex than most realize. It brings up far too much temptation.

Perhaps try expanding your circle of friends to include more of the type of women you're interested in. Even if those friendships remain platonic, chances are the girls will have single friends they could totally hook you up with. Just as in the job market, it's all about who you know. According to a class I recently took, networking is key in finding a good job. A friend of a friend is much more likely to help you get a job that you desire than numerous hours spent online. Maybe this strategy could help in your love life, as well.

When it comes to baggage you'll be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn't have even a small amount...it's more about finding someone with levels of baggage you find acceptable. If you're looking for the least amount possible, pay attention to red flags in your conversations with girls. Do they mention a bad childhood? Bad father or father-figure? Have they had problems with alcohol or drug abuse in their past? Do they speak ill of their past relationships, citing a history of dating thugs, abusive men, or other sorts of mentally damaging partners? While some people can come from these things with a clear head, most don't, and carry mental trauma and baggage out the wazoo from the experiences. If you don't want this, accept a fake phone call, pretend there's an emergency, and don't have future dates with her.

And, whatever you do, don't listen to your dick! The penis is a mind-altering organ, and can quickly cause a male to make the wrong decisions about a potential mate when the strong chance of getting booty presents itself. If you've noticed the above red flags do not sleep with her, or else there could be a time bomb waiting to explode on you in the future.

Patience, dear. Good, single girls do exist, I promise. It just takes time and know how to find the right one. Create a set of standards and stick to them. If a girl doesn't fall within them, move on before emotions get thick. It can mean a lot of lonely nights, but imagine how blissful it will be when you do find that not-so-crazy darling you can keep warm and enjoy time with.





...and if all else fails, get a mail order bride that doesn't speak English.



Love, Nikki

 

The mail order thing does not work, at least with russian agency. All I got out of it is, heart ache, my car being towed at the airport, and lots of expense for travel and visa. Talk about Un investment

 

Sorry guys. I've just been super stressed over homework and work. Stress makes me super pessimistic, I think. Just trying to get through finals and figure out how to make a few bucks, and then I'll hopefully be back to my bubbly self.

In the meantime, though, if anyone does have questions you want me to answer, you can post them here or send them to the email address in the first post. I'm stuck on my computer until at the earliest Wednesday (almost literally from waking up to sleeping every day!!! >.<) due to finals, so I'm always welcoming something to do during my mini-breaks while working on projects.

P.S. emails get both a response via email and the q&a posted here with names removed.

 

lol get yoself a cute mexican girl that wants a visa, then. Plenty of illegal mexicans in Houston to choose from! over 100k and counting!

 

Although the non english speaking part sounds hot, and meets one of my dating criteria.... in this case, it would be a problem..... for some crazy reason some mexicans mistake me for Rican... so I wouldn't want to get the beat down from her hermanos y primos.

 

if elin was smart she would have used a driver instead of a 3 iron...isn't that what the golfer that introduced them said??

gz...plain and simple you say you want one thing but you do everything to attract just the opposite in your life...perhaps you enjoy the drama of it all...2010 is an opportunity...a fresh start...go get em tiger (no pun intended):smt042