You're the whitest black guy I know.(again)

I can understand your vent, however you did say


you talked about school Movies sports etc. It was actually going pretty well, a lot of notches in the plus column

I mean if it was me I would "Probably" (I'm not certain) get to know her a little more if she keep saying things I find offensive than I am out.

Was she Attractive? If so how attractive?

 

I feel you for real !!! Good shyt...as usual....Brotha Ajax

 

Yo Greco, when she said you were the whitest back guy she'd met, you should have said :

 

This may help explain why many find this offensive

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=triangle&id=3654532

 

Best to fuck her and cut her loose

 

You nailed it and kept it simple.

Most of the other guys have covered what I would tell you so I will just add a little bit--

Greco, i've got comments like you've got before but I believe I can give you a little more insight because i'm also young. I wouldn't cut this girl off right away but I would feel her out a bit more and lay some knowledge on her. Obviously she is ignorant: but this may just because she hasn't had anyone to show her better. Remember, some people are just honestly that stupid and truely mean no bad intent. Lets not pretend like there are not some blacks that will also shake you down for not being black enough and carry the SAME beliefs themselves about what is "normal" black behavior that this girl carries.

Feel her out just a LITTLE more and then form a level headed opinion on her. If you get the impression that she is stuck in her stereotypes then kick her to the curb and tell her you're too good for her.

Honestly, the comment that is more of a turn off to me isn't really the "you're the whitest black I know" but rather the "i've always wanted to try a black guy" comment. I'm way too good for that.

Like I said though--stay cool and don't let it rattle you. Feel her out a little bit more then report back to us.

 

I got told I was "whitest black guy" ever because I drive a lifted land rover on 35" mud tires rather than 24" rims. I just looked at the person with a stern look and said there is no such thing. I gave that person a piece of my mind in a respectful manner but they got the point well and clear!:axe:

 

Personally Greco, I think you should keep away from this girl because judging by the things she says, she seems to be treating you more like an experiement.
'I've always been fascinated by black guys.' What the hell, are you a type of exotic fish? I find it ridiculous when people say things like this. Prior to being with a black man, I was attracted to black men but I certainly never claimed to be fascinated with them. That to me, is just weird. What's the problem of saying that she has been attracted to black men in the past but just hasn't dated a black man?

I think especially of this, you should be weary because her saying that you're the whitest black man she's ever met, and then claiming she's 'fascinated' is almost like her saying that you're like a 'safe' black man that she can live out a fascination/fantasy with. Prior to you, how exactly did she view black men she was 'fascinated' with? People like 50 cent? Lil Wayne? If she is so ignorant as to assume that because you're black you can't be well spoken or wear polo shirts (wtf!) then she's absolutely not worth the time or the effort or the energy.
Jaybee's advise was to fuck her? No. I don't think someone like that is even worth that.

 

Very well said. Great post, russia!!

And I totally agree about the last part. Why get involved in any type of sexual way with someone like this? Wouldn't you just be feeding into the negative stereotype by doing that?

 

As a kid, I wasn't athletic, didn't use slang, listen to gangsta rap, nor wore $500 gym shoes. Yeah, the other black kids didn't think I was hip.

 

Kind of reminds me of the time my own sister called me white for liking Rock/Metal over Rap/R&B. She even asked me did I have any black friends, and or knew any black people.

 

I agree with you and very well said sweetie!:smt038

 

We all are ignorant of each other. However, as you pointed out this ignorance can be ignored if that person is living in in a remote or isolated place.

Sometimes people say or do things w/o realising the effect on that person. Years ago when I was in Germany one of the workers, an Eastern European, I think, started to play with my hair. I didn`t even know her.

 

Quick update, I was on fb and she hit me up with the chat function, everything seemed kosher, so for now the jury is still out. I'm going to try to get together with her some time soon and see how that goes. I'll let ya'll know. To be continued...

 

Although what she said was stupid, bizarre and offensive I don't think she actually meant any harm.

I don't say things like that, obviously, but I guess I can kind of understand as I grew up in a town where the only foreign people owned the takeaways. I can probably count on my hands how many people of other ethnicities went to my school.

If she seems cool other than that don't rule her out totally. Some people need to be educated.

I think that the "white for being black" thing is a lot worse than her being fascinated by black guys. What's wrong with that really? I'm not fascinated but I certainly have a thing for black guys - I just don't go round telling people (okay, I do sometimes when I'm drunk lol). She maybe just worded it weird.

Everyone says ignorant shit every so often, I probably do without even thinking about it.

Trust - I've spoke to guys who have told me that I'm "not like most white girls" and stuff. It sounds stupid to me but whatever.

 

Ahhhhh, reminds me of being a kid in school with a near majority of blacks, and I'd constantly bounce my fingertips off my friends 'fros. Fabulous fun.

 

I know it's annoying, Greco...though I think these sorts of things are best laughed off most of the time, instead of dwelled on. My boyfriend gets the whole "You're the whitest black guy I know" thing constantly...because he doesn't wear very baggy jeans usually, he listens to a lot more than just hip/hop (He loves punk music above all, I think. The Ramones are his favorite), when he talks in slang he's joking, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke weed, etc. Though, I think it's simply reflective of how and where he grew up, because, while he was only raised by his mom, they're quite different in personality.

Conversely, I also get this a lot, because people tell me "You're the blackest white chick I know". White people rarely, but sometimes, say this, but since I've moved to Houston nearly every black person I've met has made the remark, once they get to know me.

It's all about stereotypes. Just because I like to drink Olde English and smoke weed...because I sing, because I, unlike some people, enjoy using slang and view it more as colourful speech instead of ignorance (perhaps because, while I use it, I still know how to properly structure sentences and have a massive vocabulary)...because I don't take undue crap from people, because I'm not subordinate, quiet, and content with the status quo like I'm told a white girl is supposed to act. Because I'm not rich, or from a suburb...the list could go on.

Oh, and also because I can make some damn good fried chicken and there's always kool-aid in my fridge. My music choices don't hurt, either, though if one were to simply look at my music library it'd become instantly obvious that I listen to far more than just hip/hop. But the simple fact that I listen to -some- hip/hop is enough.

My own boyfriend told his mom that I was "kinda black" before she met me. So she thought I was mixed until she saw a picture.

People just like to label. If you're not what they perceive people like you to be, then they'll say something stupid. If she's a nice girl, give her the benefit of a doubt, but keep your guard up for a while just in case she's really just that stupid, and it wasn't an ignorant mistake.


...oh, and about all the "forgive ignorance" comments...I have to disagree. I can understand why people can be ignorant about things they don't have experience with, but I figure if I can take it upon myself to educate myself then anyone can. Ignorance can be remedied with information readily accessible by everyone. There's no excuse for it anymore. If a person is so ignorant that they choose not to illuminate their minds to the truth then it's their fault, not an affliction of where they grew up. I come from one of those places. From the time I was born I was spoon-fed hatred, but even as a child I could tell bullshit from truth. Ignorance is embarrassing, and I should think that a competent person would at least try to save themselves from that by keeping their trap shut instead of broadcasting their lack of knowledge to the world.

 

Grec, in my humble opinion, I feel as if you are speaking to a "girl" who is racist due to ignorance. By your own account, it seems as though she has not had any intimate --not necessarily sexual, contact with African American males, much less any other ethnicity probably. From what I read, it sounds like she is an extreme novice to IR. I mean her remarks bear much similarity to: "I've never fucked a ____chic, I wanna try that." (dudes don't ever hate on other dudes for sayin that). Even the statement about talking white, that proper talk may turn her on. She is simply expressing her desire to be with you & try something she has never done before, but maybe not in the most respectful way due to her lack of social skills/"worldliness."

I think a lot of people have been guilty of this, especially on this site. For instance, my first IR relationship happened not because I knew we where different, but I was intrigued by her as a whole. But I'm not blind, I also saw the color difference & that did fascinate/intrigue me to a certain degree at the same time, the only difference was that I didn't go broad casting that to the woman.

Even later on down the line, I found that she enjoyed some of the same music I did, rap, and coupled with the way she dressed, sort of lead me to peg her as a "wigger." (she actually didn't talk black, dress black, etc.) But little did I know, it wasn't necessarily rap she liked, more specifically it was down south music; not many lyrics, bass beat which was what she liked the most. She likes rap, but it was the bass lol, I had already been with her a while before I even learned that. And I've always had an ear for music other than hip-hop & and rap, but being with her, she exposed ME to a "whole' notha' level!"

I'm rambling now, but what I'm saying is that you can be her ambassador of IR's, it is your duty to rep, not only for yourself, but for all of us in the IR game (we are the chosen, the superior, because we see pass color lines). I'm assuming you've been there and done that, even then, there is always something new to learn. Take her to the promise land, take her black, where she'll never come back lol (I think this were this saying is bred also, not just the sexual stereotype).

 

You're amazing.

 

No offense intended but you are just as ignorant if you cant figure this one out. Making a comment like "youre the whitest black guy Ive even known " can possibly be excused because at times we all say one thing but mean something different. However, her response when he questioned her was just downright racist, stereotypical and ignorant, even if she did not realize it. Wake up man and have some pride if you get this a lot as you mention-it is so blatantly clear that this girl assumed that a black person cannot speak with the same level of intelligence or sophistication as a white person, for lack of better words.
I am a black male married to a white middle eastern woman. Some of my wife's relatives are brainwashed and have racist views towards blacks, but even they have better sense than to make a comment like this.