Cheaters

Your not ready yet... you have to pass 101 first

 

And who do I have to perform oral favors for, to pass 101?

 

I dunno if that will help you or acctually get you an instant F!!!
:smt112
But we better stop this derailing or we both get a time out.

 

My finger slipped and I think I accidentally reported this post.....damn iPhone.....sorry webs lol

 

Russia, obviously I don't know you very well, but from what little I have learned about you on this site tells me that you are an outstanding person. You are pursuing your education, you have a kind and insightful nature, very intelligent and wise, especially for a person so young, certainly an attractive young lady with a killer smile, not to mention one of the most astute and well versed football fans I have ever met (even if you are a Man. U fan, GO ARSENAL!), all this to say kiddo, you are a CATCH. My hope for you is that you start to develop a HEALTHY self confidence and esteem immediately, you are worth it and have a GREAT deal going for you. I have no doubt that as you continue on your life's path, you will come across a young man who sees all the great things you have going for you and treats you in the wonderful manner you deserve!:smt023

 

Someone can cheat on you and still love you but if someone fully RESPECTS you in a relationships then they won't betray you like that.

For some, sure it is a blow to the self confidence but that shouldn't be the case within reason. I can say up until this point that I have never cheated on anyone that i'm in a commited relationship with. If i'm in a commited relationship I won't disrespect my partner like that. As a healthy young man sure I get desires and will look but I have enough self control to put the person I actually love FIRST.

I have been cheated on once before and didn't feel any "less self confident" or like I was comming up short on my end because I knew that wasn't case: I just felt betrayed and disrespected because I knew I deserved better. So I broke it off.

 

If you had no self-esteem then you would have continued to let the guy BS you with the "you are the only one I actually love though" line and/or you would have attempted to "win out" over who ever else he was seeing. When I see women do this despite putting up a front of being strong or confident I automatically know they have low self-esteem. You made the strongest move in breaking it off and refusing to be disrespected like that.

 

KG's reaction to Ajax's new avi:

"Oh, Ajax has a new avi...what is it...it looks like...agh!" lol

 

Absolutely. I agree with this post, 100%. You are beautiful, Russia, inside and out.

 

hmm first serious relationship, 18 months in and he went to see the doctor. he gave me his meds to check cos he coyldnt read in english and low and behold hes got meds for an std
tried to claim he must have been given the wrong prescription. so i had the humiliation of having to have things shoved up orrifices that shouldnt be touched and he got the boot. he had a heart attack the day i left him, felt real bad for that as it was litterly a couple minutes after i told him where to go

 

I assume that a connection consists in it. Not in the sense, that every person who is very passionate automatically cheats, but that it is much more difficult for these people to control themselves.

In combination with crises or stagnations in their own relationship, and with it I mean long-term relations of minimum 10 years, I think this need for adventure and the fire comes much faster to the outbreak.

Accordingly I think also a side jump of the cheater is to be valued, for one the ONS means absolutely nothing, for another one, it means everything.

 

I believe it is wrong to assume everyones sexuality is the same. And when you couple that with issues with self control, then it leads to a wide array of behavior.

Best I can explain is the difference between my sister and myself. Both came up exactly the same, exposed to the same stuff. I am not a cheater, not even into casual sex. It is just a part of my personality. She on the other hand has always been very promiscuous from a very young age. And when you couple that with other issues she has going on, she cheats.

I think it is possible to be very prosmiscuous by nature and at the same time very self disciplined and not cheat. But it is like a sliding scale, if the sexually promiscuous side is swung out farther than the self discipline, then you are off balance and tipped to the cheating side.

I am not as harsh on cheaters as most people are. And my first husband was a cheater, cheated the day before we married. I just know it was his issue and dont carry the baggage from it.

 

I am a very passionate person and I have never cheated. I dont feel the need to. Have I thought about it....yes of course but I have never acted on it. If it became a recurring thought in a relationship I would leave. End of story.

I have been cheated on. Not physically to my knowledge but via webcam and emotional cheating. I look at that as a weakness in the other person. If your needs are not being met, be a man or a woman, admit it and move on.

There is no need to lie or hurt another person if you are honest with yourself and your partner.

And as a side note....my response would be and was.....don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!

 

I am a very passionate person in all aspects of my life, whether it be my art, my writing, or my love. Yet I am not prone to cheating at all. Even when my ex-husband treated me horribly, I still never slept around on him. I probably should have, but I didn't. I have had casual sex, and had a long term commitment (or lack their of) with another that didn't involve a relationship, but still involved us both having monogamous sex with each other.

I don't think passion comes into play with a person's choice to cheat unless they're cheating because the passion in their relationship is already gone. Then I could see it leading to it.

If a passionate person receives as much passion as they need in their monogamous relationship, and they prefer monogamy, then their likelihood of cheating is the same as anyone, I'd say.

As with anything, though there may be patterns upon examination through surveys and the like, without the raw data it's impossible to tell for sure, only assume and share opinion. My opinion, being very passionate, is that it doesn't matter as much in cheating, seeing as how I don't do it. But that's just me.

Honestly, I'd think that passionate people, from my personal experience, would be less likely to cheat, in that when you are quite passionate about something (art, a person, etc) it can literally take you over. You'll pour everything you have into that one thing you feel such fire for, whether it be something you enjoy doing, or someone you love. As long as that desire remains, you'll continue immersing yourself. But if it is gone, then who knows?

This is assuming that the person isn't simply passionate about casual sex, however. If that's the case, it's rather obvious what they'd do.

 

I dissagree completely, people with less selfdicipline and respect for others cheat earier.. has noting to do with passion. I mean do passionate people loose their ability to reason logically? Do they lose the ability of respecting others and see what their actions may lead to?

Even IF it dosent mean anything, if the partner do, THAT is what counts not what the cheater thinks, its the people he/she affects that should be considered.

 

this really depends on the parties involved; you can be passionate and still not cheat. cheating is the more animalistic approach for hiding your true intentions

 

Totally agree. There's a stronger correlation between disrespect and zero self discipline with cheating than passion with cheating. Well put FG!

 

Thank you both so much. Kuntry, you are without a doubt the sweetest and most genuine woman I've seen here. Youre so kind and always have such positive things to say about people, I respect that a lot.

And Loki, you are a wonderful person, from the little that I know of you. I feel privalaged to have had the opportunities to speak with you even if it has just been over a forum.

Thank you both so much for your kind words, it really, really made my day :smt058

 

Well, thank you for returning the favor! You've just made my day!

 

Self esteem and confidence, for some, comes naturally. For others, factors in their lives, personality traits, and who knows what else, causes them to doubt themselves in various ways.

For the second group of people, it's a harder road to love oneself, but through pain comes experience, and wisdom, and eventually you wake up one day and you realize you're a damn awesome person regardless of what anyone's done to wrong you, and you learn how to stop allowing yourself to take the blame for what was never your fault in the first place.

Don't let losers like that ruin your own image of yourself, or future happiness. They don't deserve that power, and the only person who can change one's self image is themselves.

Besides, something I've learned...without bad experiences it's easy to not appreciate the good. Everything in my life, from my freedom to my love, I appreciate far more than anyone I know because I know for a fact it could be worse. Without all of my horrible relationships I wouldn't appreciate my current one as much as I do. Without all of the hurt and self-doubt, I wouldn't love the person I am.

For some people it's easy to not let others change the way they see themselves...for others it's not. But if you don't love yourself, how can anyone else? You're the most important person in your universe...and it's ok. Embrace it.