Cheaters

I'll Co-Sign on that

 

Excellent post, Loki!

 

WLC,why this guy who once fancied you wanted to wind you up with escorts? Does he have a kick out of it?

 

Do you think there is a context between passion and cheating in a relationship?
Do very passionate persons (of both genders) cheat earlier than others?​

 

I think there is no relation between that.

 

I don't believe passion has anything to do with cheating. I think the main reason people cheat is because a need of theirs isn't being met by their significant other. And cheating doesn't have to be the physical act, today emotional cheating is running rampant.

As for the serial cheaters (players and such), I think it has to do with their lack of respect for their partners and their inability to truly care for a person and how their actions will affect that person.

Strictly my opinion, of course.

 

it hurts because the person who was cheated on, starts thinking that she or he is not perfect..... It hurts because of a lack of selfconfidence.

 

It hurts because the cheated one feels to lose the ground under his feet, to have wasted his time. The self-confidence suffers, the jealousy rises. But these feelings are not real, it´s our own imagination, our own fears, which become real out of our own insecurity.


However, how much it hurts depends on the expectations which we have on the relationship and the partner. Everybody makes mistakes. A "side jump" hurts, but is in general not the end of the world. One should look at the relationship as a whole.

 

It's not cheating if you're not caught.

you can quote me on that

:wink:

 

Well, to be honest, I doubt that very many people are anywhere near close to perfect so maybe they shouldn't be thinking that anyway...

But I agree with you when it comes to self-confidence. I was cheated on by my last boyfriend, and since I have no self confidence or self esteem anyway, what he did really crushed me and left me thinking 'well, what did I do wrong??'
Especially since he kept saying 'it doesn't matter because I love YOU, that didn't mean a thing, I'll always be coming back to you!'
I ended it straight away obviously but it makes you think, how can someone that claims to love you hurt you so much? It's so selfish.

The one thing that I'm really angry at my ex for is the fact that his cheating makes me paranoid when it comes to my current relationship. My boyfriend is wonderful and even though I want to trust him completely, I can't because my ex has made it so difficult for me to trust people. So yeah, I'd say the worst thing is that they don't just ruin your relationship with them, but they jeapordise your relationship with other people.

 

Just as long as you allow your ex..

That some one is cheating on you will happen all of your life (maybe in different situations, maybe in different kinds of relationships)..But it is your decision, how you handle with it.
He was chaeting on you, he decided to go that way, he decided also not to talk with you about your relationship, it was his fault, not yours.

Feeling paranoid: understandable but not fair.. another person is sitting in front of you.
If somebody cheats on you, I cannot imagine that his intention was to hurt you. It just happened and has nothing to do with you. It was his desire, nothing else.

But as long as you are not able to make peace with him, he will have power over you, your relationships and your future.

 

I don't think that's true.
I think that just because I was cheated on before doesn't mean that my current partner or my future partners will cheat on me, just because I'm more concerned about being cheated on than people who have never been in that position.

I don't think that my ex has any power over me either because I have absolutely no intention of ever becoming romantically involved with him again because now I feel nothing for him, not even anger or disappointment. But the past is still the past, and in the past I had someone who I cared about break my trust in a very big way. I agree with you that it's not fair to take it out on another partner, and I'm really trying not to do that, but it's not possible to just forget what happened with my ex and jump in with my heart open and trusting someone else 100%. I'm cautious, maybe overly so, but I'd rather be cautious than foolish in a situation like this.

As for not hurting me with the cheating...well, he might not have gone back to this girls' house thinking 'I better do this to really spite Kia for going to a university so far away!!' but surely he should have had the respect for me to not throw away our entire relationship for a sleazy one night stand. And telling me that it was nothing and he loved me and not a silly slag that he picked up in a club is just patronising. I seriously don't believe that you can cheat on someone who you love when you're in a coherent state of mind. The thought of hurting my boyfriend like that makes me physically sick. I have very little empathy towards cheaters.

 

ST, it was my ex-husband (we were married for 5 years). I don't know why on Earth he would do that (he never admitted doing it) but a few options come to mind: 1) he was 'bored' with me after a few years of marriage 2) he wanted 'something new' 3) he was a sick freak who found it hard to break old habits.

I prefer to believe the 3rd is the most accurate description of him!!! LOL

 

Sure it is, but you only have to live with your conscience, which can sometimes be harder than living with the wrath of the other person.

 

luckily for you, im missing the section of my brain, which regulates useless emotions such as guilt and sorrow.

 

I thought cheating hurt, because the trust was broken.

 

Elementary: That section of the brain does not get developed until you lose your virginity!

 

Lol......shouldn't u be painting, mistress

 

Eh, yah... Im painting a picture for you about the bird and the bees....

 

Why paint when you can teach?