What's going on with you?

after getting stuck in tulsa last night...lippy has decided that traveling is not all it's cracked up to be...crazy storms...flooding...no planes coming in and no planes going out...after sitting at the airport for 5 hours i decided to bale on my flight and just get a hotel...i took the first flight this morning...now i am going to back to bed for a bit...and declare the day a "do over"

 

I've been crying a lot tonight. Why am I telling the board this? I don't know. Maybe if I let that out, my life might have an upswing?

I just need something good to happen to me. I'm tired of being in this miserable rut.

 

Books, cheer up. Things happen for a reason. Life is an up and down struggle. Hopefully you will be in upswing soon.:smt056

 

Aww Bookie, :smt056 I agree with GZ and soon enough that upswing will begin.

 

Awwww....thank you guys. I hope so, too. I'm done with the downswing. I'm hoping that I'm releasing the negative now so that the positive can come in.

You guys are so sweet. Thanks.

 

Awww...Books! I agree with GZ and Athena... it sucks, but it surely will be better soon. A wondeful person as you are bound to have wonderful things happen to them.. sometimes that schedule is just not working on our clock...
Cyber prayers and hugs on the way.

:smt056

 

*Gives Bookie a big hug*

 

Bookie, I don't know you too well, but maybe you can let me know if crying (a lot) really does help. Because today was my three year anniversary with my ex, and even though I found out he cheated on me and we broke up almost six weeks ago, I am still hurting really bad and today was very difficult for me. And this is just so tough, and I feel like it's not getting any easier.
Apologies to all for being such a downer. I used to be a really easy going, fun-to-be with person, but lately, not so much.

 

awwww...beautiful, beautiful bookie, it saddens me to hear that. lots of love & e-hugs coming your way :smt056

 

Just got back from LA from my grandma's funeral. Shit went better than I had expect. Wasn't much bullshit drama. Got to see hella family members I ain't seen in years. One of my cousins wrote this SICK ass poem for my grandma. I wish it was written in the obituary so I could scan it, but yeah. When we went to the funeral home the day before to view the body, I damn near couldn't go in there. the closer I stepped to the casket, the heavier my breathing got. I was scared shitless. I was supposed to be an honorary paul bearer, but I wasn't touching a fucking casket. It just wasn't happening. The funeral dude fixed my grandma up, a little bit, but it still looked "meh", but I didn't see what she looked like before, which was when she looked worse. Then I had to take pictures with mufuckas, and they were expecting me to smile n' shit. I don't cheese for pics on a normal day, so what makes you think I'm gonna cheese at my grandmas funeral, right after they just cemented her casket into the wall? Fuckin' balls. Her casket was fuckin' nice though. It had this really light pink trim and this light pink cloth stuff. And my cousin put my granny's glasses on her to make granny complete.

But yeah, thanks y'all for your replies n' everything.

The drama's far from over, I think. From what my cousin told me, my grandma had a key to a deposit box, or safe, and it's hidden somewhere in the house, and since she was moving hella stuff around recently, because she would always misplace stuff, nobody knows where it is. Awww, shit. I'd rather that money just disappear so mufuckas ain't gotta worry about that anymore, but shit. That ain't gonna happen.

Damn. No more of granny's cooking. No more talking to granny. No more advice. No more 7-up cake. No more granny laughing. Damn, son.

 

Damn, that's some fucked up shit. Fuck that chump ass exterminator.

 

Life itself may not give you a pat on the back for sharing, but letting it out, especially with the anonymity of the internet, almost always helps. It's a form of emotional release. May not seem like much at the time, but it does help to just talk about things. It keeps the negative emotions from festering and stagnating.

Besides...ranting or venting or sharing online is one of the best options (why do you think personal blogs are so popular?) because when you admit something like crying you don't have to worry about seeing the people you told every day and wondering if they think you're a weak idiot for letting them know something bothered you.

If you need to talk, babe, you can email me. I'd say IM, but my net is so shoddy lately. Have I given you my email address? If not, lemme know and I can pass it along.

 

*e-hug-hug-hug-hug-hug*

If only you were in my neck of the woods I'd say this is a top notch oppourtunity for a couple of 40s and an evening of reminiscing about our grandmas.

 

I am so tired of the housing people. Seriously, we have two "Resident Life Advisors" that live here in the apartment complex with us. One is a nice lady who barely does anything. The other one is a bitch who barely does anything. They charge us insane prices (about double what we'd pay if we had private apartments in the same complex, instead of through the school...which I can't do because of bad credit/the fact that my loans won't pay for it, but they'll pay for student housing), impose stupid rules on us, punish -everyone- when a couple of dumb 18 year olds get drunk (like it's my fucking fault they do it!), treat us like children (even those of us who are obviously adults and generally act quite mature), and a billion other things...on top of very rarely doing the jobs my money is paying them for. There's an apartment they rent for the sole purpose as to serve as an "office"...yet no one is ever there. They have a cell phone for us to contact the housing people through that they never answer. Things that get broken don't get fixed, because the students are at the bottom of the line, under the private residents. Guh. And a million other things, a few that I've actually complained to the dean of student affairs about. Nothing was ever done, of course.

grr. Anyway. Rant over.

Nate's mom will be here in a few hours. I'm a bit nervous, though I think it'll be easier than last time, since I've already met her once. I just have so much crap to do this weekend I'm afraid she's going to think I'm avoiding her if I can't hang out with them much. >.< I hope she understands, though. I like her, and I want her to like me.

 

Waiting to have mushrooms on my pizza.

 

You're telling the board that because a good leader knows that her loyal followers occasionally need reminding that she, too, is a human!!

Ahhh, Bookie, if I were there in Chicago waiting for my flight back home tonight, I'd take you out for a big slap-up meal, all my treat, I'd get you to tell me what is not happening, and I'd have a dozen ways to restore your hope. Failing a terminal illness (and even then, miracles DO happen, I've seen it) nothing in life is ever insurmountable.

I've seen a lot of and in life, and I'm SURE I could either settle the problem or make it as light as a feather. Try me! I'll have you giggling like you were 13 again!! And after dinner, come clubbing with me my girl, I'd grab your hand and whisk you off to whichever nightspot you heard had a great band, get your dancing shoes on, I don't care if we leave the club at 4am and I've got to be at O'hara 2hrs later, I can sleep on the plane, right now you and I are gonna show the crowd how it's done!!

:smt003

 

Karand: :smt056 It does get easier, it takes a long time in some cases, but it will pass. What you are feeling now is perfectly normal and it will dissipate hon.

Brotha Ajax: I'm so sorry. Grams are the best, the absolute best. :smt054

 

I know the feeling. When my marriage broke up, it took me a long time to feel free and easygoing again. Of course, now I'm not in that place, but that's another story.

I have found that crying a lot in situations as that keeps you feeling that pain. However, it's also a very good barometer for knowing when you're finally getting over it (by crying less) and that can help to bring the good feelings back quicker.

It's really an individual thing, but if you feel the need to cry, then don't stop it. Cry. Let it out. And then talk to someone about how you're feeling. It really helps to release the negativity that's building inside you right now.

It can be quite cathartic. Good luck to you. :smt023

 

I love you guys. Thank you so much for the well-wishes and the e-hugs, etc. I felt them.

I'm feeling slightly better today, but my situation hasn't improved.

But like you all said, life is a roller coaster with uphills and downhills. I'm just on a downhill right now. :smt085

But like DH said, it did help to get it out. It's quite cathartic. Now, I need to start thinking about solutions to my problems. Dwelling on the problems won't make them go away.

Thanks guys. E-hugs right back at you all.

 

I really hope that you're feeling better, Bookie. :smt056
I'm in a similar situation myself, which is why I haven't been on here much recently. A lot of bad things have happened recently and I'm having a bit of a hard time coping with it all. Every day, I just keep thinking 'why won't something good just happen for once?!'
But people are right, I guess. Life is rarely a piece of cake, right? Just gotta grin through.