Advice on Approaching Black Guys in a Club

Not necessarily. When the person you're after doesn't fall into the same racial category as yourself it's not as easy. I don't approach guys not just because I get shy about those kinds of things, but because the vast majority of the time the guys I would approach are not white, and it's impossible to tell if someone would be open to dating outside their race on looks alone.

I've seen comments by some guys on here talking about how it's harder to approach a white girl because they don't always know she'd be receptive to it. Well it works both ways, only we have the added variable of generally being the pursuee, instead of the pursuer, so openly approaching a guy in general can be harder on a girl, especially when you add in the extra worry of "well, he may not even be into me at all because of my skin color and I could be screwed before I even try"

Maybe she's looking for a fling, maybe not, but not all white girls who are looking for a black guy are automatically just looking for a fling. Not all girls looking in clubs and bars are automatically looking for a fling, either. Or maybe you guys forget...it's the men who go there who tend to be looking for a piece. Clubs...if I end up at a club with my friends, I'm looking to dance and have fun, not pick up a guy. If a guy gets my number, he's not getting a booty call, he's getting a girl that's going to annoy the shit out of him when he calls her and realizes the bitch isn't going to accept a booty call. Bars...I go to my bar at least once per week to sing karaoke. Just like the other regulars, I go there to have fun, chill, and talk to my friends. If a guy wants to buy me drinks that's cool. If he wants my number, and he seems cool, then that's cool. But the vast majority of guys I meet there just want to find a piece to pick up for the night, and that's cool for them, but they don't get it from me.

I don't have many chick friends who even would go home with a guy from a bar or club, but I have many male friends who would take someone home from a bar or club. So just because she's looking at clubs doesn't automatically mean she's a ho, darlin. You guys just think we are because men go to these places for different reasons than we do. I'm sure there are plenty of hos running around , of course. I've seen a few at my bar, actually. But don't assume this chick is one unless she says that's how she is.

 

Co-sign

 

Yea same, but if I did end up dating a chick from a club, that would be a bonus.

 

I missed this. This was ages ago but I disagree. Sure there are some questions when approaching someone of another race but if I approach a woman I'm not going to say something stupid like "yo mah letme holla at dat". When I approach I do it like a real man -- in polite casual/non intrusive way.

If she has a problem with a well put together man making a casual polite approach just becuase of his race than that is an issue with her and her loss. I never hesitate. In fact most of the women I apporach don't have any of the stereotypical sings that say "I like black men".

Unless I have solid reasoning to believe otherwise I never assume a women would not be attracted to me. If shes judging me just on race, shes doing me an early favor by not wanting to socialize with me.

By the way, for the rest of what you typed -- I never said all white women that were looking for black men were only looking for a fling. Thats certainly not true so go ahead and throw that out the window.

So I disagree.

 

Don't say the 'n' word.

You'll be fine.

 

Shake your ass, give them the feeling you are idiot and, voilà!, there u go.
Then, when they'll find out you have a real brain, they will feel inferior and stop talking to you.
:drinkers:

 

Only if the homeboy comes to you and wants to hit at you Thick,if you or any other WW approaches the homeboy of your liking speak of common interests.

 

Speaking as a mature black man, don't go to night clubs to meet black men unless you want to date married men or men otherwise taken.

You can just as well meet good men walking down the street, in a grocery store or at the gym.

 

Ummm what. Whats wrong with the clubs. I'm an intelligent single black man in his early 20's. Shouldn't generalize. You can find decent men in the club, but you will have to do some searching.

 

Once again, I agree w Scott -
I simply dont get that ww or bm needs to be approached differently..
I just really dont....
If the person dont respond because they are not open to IR, then you get rejected, but is that really different if someone from the same ethnicity rejects you for stuff like uh.. height, weight, wrong hair, eyes etc..
At the end of the day... the end result is the same... a "yes" .. or a "no"....
If a "No" based on physical attributes, Scott said it above

 

If you feel comfortable going to clubs by all means go, there are other venues to meet women.

 

Not much black men here, once in a while im lucky to see one at the club. Just dance in front of him..even with my back facing him, he always falls for it and start finding ways to approach me. LOL. Hugs to all who want to dance with a black guy at the club. Connectingsouls

 

Er, surely more single guys go to clubs? In the clubs here, the age range is generally from 18-30, and the majority of people in that age range aren't married.

Stopping someone in the street probably wouldn't work either.

 

It's like ice cream. Ask yourself first, "What do I want today?

Some days you want strawberry, other days its rum raisin.

When you are "up in da club", you should not be expecting to find the love of your life. Trust me, most men are not looking for wifey behind the velvet ropes.

I agree with the posters who say that you can meet some quality BM at the grocery, Barnes and Noble, gym, car dealership. Ok, you might be saying "car dealership!?", but listen up mama. All of the places I listed are where responsible, independent men are. They take care of their own shopping, they know they must (and can afford to) take their car in for service, they don't think a book in kryptonite.

Now, if you're looking for a one night stand, then the club is the perfect place for your perusing pleasure! Quality brothers go there occasionally and just don't want a serious relationship. Who knows, they may have just come out of a long relationship and commitment is the last thing on their mind.

Maybe they are just nowhere near the settling down point of their lives because they are young or don't believe in marriage. One thing is true, ever rule has an exception, so you can occasionally find a quality man up in the club, but for the most part, they are elsewhere.

In terms of meeting brothers in Europe, I've been there several times. In England, all I really needed to do was talk and there was intrigue. "You from the states!?" was a common refrain. Then dressing well and looking a woman directly in the eyes holds the intrigue. I must say, there were some British women who really were on point with their game. One woman approached me and asked if she could buy me a drink. Game on!

Another woman gave me a compliment on my attire, she particularly liked the shoes. We talked a while and I bought her a drink.

I've found that women who approach me with sincerity are hot. Direct eye contact is also very important. You'd be surprised at how a simple remark can really break the ice. (an example would be "You have amazing eyes" or "I appreciate the way you rock that jacket." or "I just wanted to introduce myself")

Once you make the simple remark, just let your natural self shine. If a man doesn't take to who you are, you probably don't want to chill with him anyway, right? If a man does take to who you are, you should have a good time.

Alright you, best of luck with meeting men.

 

QB1,you are successful in getting the women in Europe. You have excellent game. That has not happened to me when I go to a club there.

 

Easy, easy, easy!!!!! <-----That's what we'd normally say.
I have never, ever ever fucked a guy because he was American. Or from London. Or Liverpool.
Watch out for those kinda girls, yea?

I do agree though, a bloke that you meet in a club is rarely you'd imagine to be 'the one.' Come on, if a bird is buying you a drink because you have nice shoes, she must be interested in more than your eyes.
I've never bought anyone but a boyfriend a drink, personally.

Still ladies, don't put it out so quick!! ... as we'd say upppp Noooorrrffff, it's a bit easy, easy, easy!!!! Keep yer legs closed, yea?

I do have a question though... who has bought a guy a drink when they haven't been your long term partner?
Even when my ex and my current boyfriend and I were just dating I never did this. Does this have any advantages? I've just never felt the need to buy a bloke a drink.

 

Noooo, I'm too cheap for that.

 

Exactly, on point with your first post. Rep given. I'm also gonna say that I find that approaching women overseas is easier than at home in the states. In my personal experience.

 

Hey Miss Russia...

Allow me to clarify a couple of things ma. When I said that I only needed to speak and there was intrigue, that was true. The intrigue was not due to the dulcet tones of my voice, but rather it was due to my "accent". I also think that brothers from the states are few and far between in England, at least that month.

Also, just because a woman bought me a drink doesn't mean I slept with her (I did not). In addition, she didn't buy me a drink because of my shoes, I think she just wanted to talk and this was her way of breaking the ice. It worked. We talked a long time, fooled around a bit but never had sex.

The original subject was about approaching Black men in a club. I'm just sharing my experiences and opinion.

Easy, easy, easy star.
-SQB1

 

You don't need to buy me a drink to get me in bed.