Honestly can a guy be close friends with a women?

Absolutly...

The third version is that you have an affair, but after a while you have to accept that it´s not more..

Men and women can have a lot of interests together, sometimes more valuable than a one-night stand..

Sex will always be in between, when you meet your opposite and attractive gender, it´s just the way, how you handle it.

 

sure i have always had close female friends, one for the last 35 years.

 

I am wondering, how the people, who say it´s not possible want to handle this topic in real life. When you are married or in a fixed relationship, do you want to fade out that the opposite gender exists?
Do you want to stop working, because of possible friendships there?
You spend a lot of time with colleagues at work..
You have friends of opposite gender out of the past, do you want to quit the friendship with them?

Everywhere are attractive persons of the opposite gender, you have to know, what you want and if you give your word, you have to keep it. When your partner gives you his/her word, trust.. In my eyes the only way to have a workable marriage/relationship..

 

I think it's hard to have a plutonic female friend. I myself have female friends that are considered "best friends", although, I have slept with them.

 

...have you or do you still do it?

 

I have and on some occasions still do. I can work as long as you don't "catch feelings, vapors if you will" with the other person. There has to be an understanding that the both of you are "free-agents" and are free to pursue other relationships. I for one encourage those "friends" to find someone that "completes" them.

 

Then I assume you are in this "grey-zone" it is something, but not everything, not that what you really want.. As long as you didn´t find the right partner, it will go on like this. But what happens, if you really fall in love with one of them or somebody else?

That´s not a friendship, I would call these affairs.. and for sure these affairs only work with "body-contact"..

 

Absolutely..
3 of my best friends are men..
One since highschool and 2 since mid 90's.
I have never even kissed any of them but I dont say all of them were free of "attempts" in the beginning but we have settled in nicely as true friends and I would give my last shirt for all of them.
2 got married eventually and I am very good friends with the spouses as well.

 

Do you sleep with your friends who are the same gender as you, just out of curiosity? It sounds more like 'friends with benifits' to me rather than just friends.

I DO have good male friends and some of my best friendships have been with lads. I do think that generally there's attraction, and I say this only because a lot of people have a group of friends that's equal to their own physical attractiveness. When it's with people of your own gender it's no big deal but when you have a nice looking guy that you're friends with, always joke and hang out with, there are bound to be moments where you think 'hmm!' coming from at least one of you.
It's whether or not you act on that attraction. If you do and end up shagging, I honestly don't think that you can call that an innocent friendship because generally speaking, even if it's just a one-night stand/fuck buddies, it will mean much more to one of the parties involved. Call me old fashioned, but I just don't think that friendship is about sex.

 

Not impossible, but a very difficult tightrope. Just as I don't believe that platonic friendships ARE true friendships, by that same token I don't believe people who are 'bootycall-buddies' can stop feelings of powerful affection developing for the other.

The line between social intimacy and physical intimacy (damn, I wish that didn't read like a sociology professor's article!!) is too thin for most people to avoid crossing, especially when one of them is in emotional need, or there is alcohol involved, etc,

Yes, in theory you can cleanly separate the two, but the reality is that it is truly difficult to regularly engage in one without being enticed into the other.

 

Co-signed
:smt009

 

It's not an easy situation or position to be in. It's a tightrope as previous post has mentioned. Not all of these experiences are successful for there are some that end in disappointment. I often question myself for doing so.
For those that are successful I can honestly say that we are "friends", good friends. The friendship will outweigh the sex over time. The only problems I encounter are when the "friend" finds their significant other and is totally honest with them, about me; it can cause a problem in their relationship. When this happens I stay away because I honestly want my "friend" and her mate to make it without the mate being threatened by me.

 

- As long as he has a girlfriend/wife....

The answer would be:

NO!



- If she's pretty and he has a girlfriend/wife:

HELLLLLLL NOOO!



- If he's single:

Yes.

 

I think I've answered this thread already, but I can't be bothered finding my post.
If you believe you can't be friends with someone because of their gender, that shows a failing of your character. There is no good or real reason why two people can't be friends because of any arbitrary aspects of their physical or other self. I have many male friends and I value their contribution to my life and our genuine mateship.

 

its not about the character although not every woman/man has the steel type of character its about feelings (or do you forget about them when it comes to friendship dont think so coz friendship without heart&soul&feelings is nothing) &sometimes when your feelings tell you its not only a friendship anymore you cant act like it is (&if you can I doubt this is an honest relationship anyway coz if u actin fake the relationship turns into a fake nomatter what they used to be ab irigin).
I have a friend we know each other since 2005 &the last two month I feel that he wants more but hes tryinng not to show that coz he knows that friendship always comes first for me I dont want to loose him as a friend (&I actualy undestand that it already happened coz he cant be objective&impartial now as the real friend should be) but at the same time I exactly know that I cant give him what he wants so this is what happens when you try to act like "gender is nothing" for you can fool youself (you are free to do whatever you want) but you cant fool others (coz its not their choice they didnt choose to be fooled over &over again) expecting them act like its ok &nothing happens coz NObody got feelings (its a lie... a huge barefaced lie).

 

YES but it helps if the girl is ugly

 

Oh, you think they can be friends???




Tell that to your husband/wife.

 

hmmm...I think if the lack of attraction is mutual, then SCORE!!! But if one person likes another person under the pretext of "I'll get in those drawers/get him to put a ring on it by being his/her friend", then PERSONAL FOUL!!!
:smt099

I've seen this happen and it's never ever pretty.

 

Exactly what she said^^

Say you have a good friend of a long time (IMP is 5+ years) that looks good, you end up dating someone serious, or getting married, why should you have to give up a good friend because of looks. Would you want to be with a mate that was so insecure they made you end friendships? If they make you end a friendship because the friend is attractive, who's to say they wouldn't make you end all friendships because those friends could possibly bad mouth them? Or even worse, for other trivial or paranoid reasons.

This is a situational issue. You can be friends if there is no sexual attraction, which is rare. Although, I think some people can do it even if one or both are attracted to each other, which is even more rare. If the fore mentioned are friends, but both these people have a pretty strong sense of self control, it can happen. Those people are of the understanding that there's always going to be good looking people & your very own friend might be one of them, but that doesn't mean you have to bang them, and or every other attractive person. A good friend wouldn't bang you, especially if it meant taking advantage in a vulnerable situation.

 

Very well said..:smt045