Are White People Ever Unfairly Labeled?

One evening last week, I was locking up my office when I was approached by a black man on the street. He told me that he was new to the area and was needing to find a cheap apartment. He wanted to know if there were any apartments in the area. I told him about some places around town and gave him directions to places that I thought would be able to help him. I had talked to him for about 5 or 10 minutes when he asked me if I would give him a ride. I told him that I was sorry but that I was running late for a dinner appointment and that I wasn't going in the same direction he was. He told me that was ok and that he appreciated my help and for me to have a good night.

As he was walking away and I was getting in my car, I couldn't help but wonder to myself if he thought the reason I wouldn't give him a ride was because he was black. Unfortunately with the times we live in, I wouldn't give any stranger a ride regardless of race or gender. You just never know any more if it's safe. I'm just glad that I had somewhere to go so that I didn't have to lie to him. However, I couldn't help but wonder if he thought that race might have been a factor.

I'm a very outgoing, friendly person all the time; however, I do find myself being overly-friendly to other races. I never want anyone to think that I think I'm better just because I'm white or that I'm a racist. I know that I can't worry about what other people think; but at the same time, I don't want to be unfairly labeled either. I was wanting to know if any of the other ladies on the board ever feel this way. I was also wanting to know from the gentleman how they would view the white person in this situation.

 

When it comes to strangers on the street, I treat them all the same regardless of race or gender: like potential threats.

I don't go out of my way to be rude to anyone, and I try not to let it be obvious, but I don't let my guard down with people until I get to know them, so that means strangers -all- get lumped into the same category. If a stranger asks me a question, of course I'll answer to the best of my ability, but I make sure not to get too close to them.

Most people I meet seem rather harmless, but I don't find that a good enough reason to blindly trust anyone. I'm more lenient in certain surroundings...like school, for example. It's a small school, if I don't know someone, then chances are one of my friends do, and there are security guards and HPD officers running around during all hours of operation. But on the bus, or walking anywhere, I don't have the cute black HPD officer by my side, so I'm not about to give people a chance until proven innocent.

It's like the seemingly fine guy that tried to jump in the window and stab my friend while we were at the drive thru at mcdonald's...or the crazy guy who was trying to "duel" with the bus the other night. Yeah...fuck that. lol

 

Same here.But just like Girliegirl I also sometimes wonder

 

I frankly don't give a rat's ass. I'm labeled for everything, so I highly doubt my guarded nature toward strangers leaves any room for people to not think of me as racist, but, once again, I don't give a rat's ass.

Someone who'd jump to that conclusion about me is no better than the racist they think I am.

But if I really cared what the average person on the street thought about me, then I'd certainly not be dating a 6'4 black man with braids, cause we're kinda noticeable walking down the street. And we get our share of stares. But I don't care. People who judge before giving someone a chance aren't worth shit in my book.

 

I would never give a strange man (or woman for that matter) a ride in my car. No way, no how.

I am with DH. I treat all strangers as potential threats. I don't let my guard down.

GG74, I hope that he realized that you didn't give him a ride strictly because he was a stranger to you and not because of the color of his skin.

You can never be too careful, and erring on the side of caution is always best. :smt023

 

Never, never, never let your guards down regardless of race. We live in a very dangerous world. This is especially true for women. Do not worry about what others may think of your actions. It will only take one mistake that can be fatal. Yes, whites are unfairly labled rascists in their actions as much as blacks are unfairly labeled as criminal intent in their actions.

 

I find it very suspicious that a man who has never met you before would ask you for a ride. Scary.

I'm very glad you turned him down!

I used to occasionally wonder if the guard I would put up as a young woman living in the city would be taken as racism. Then one day I found myself wondering whether the two Black Men I was walking past would take my guarded stance, or the wide berth I gave them on the sidewalk as racism -- and it occurred to me that it was 12:15 am in downtown Chicago, and any man who doesn't expect guardedness from *any* woman at that hour is an idiot, so screw them.

You have a right to protect your own safety. As long as you know within yourself that you are treating everyone with the same level of distrust, then to hell with what others think. They're either sensible or they aren't worth worrying about.

 

Brilliantly said. Rep given.

 

So very true!! :smt023

 

I am with everyone else here. I never let my guard down.

I would rather have someone think I was a racist or even a nutcase than be seriously fucked up or dead.

I also have to wonder about a strange man asking for a ride? Who does that?

 

I forget that most of the people on the boards are from large cities. I would definitely have to change my ways if I lived in a large city. I've always been a small town girl and lived where the crime rate is very low and almost everyone knows everyone else. I like to believe that most people are good and not bad. I don't believe that this gentleman was trying to harm me in any way. I think that he just needed help, and I was the only one on the street downtown at that time of night. However, I wasn't willing to take a chance of letting him in my car either. That is just an unnecessary risk that I was unwilling to take.

It was just a thought that crossed my mind. I would like to think, like Bookie and CBQ, that he was gentleman enough to know that my reaction had nothing to do with skin color. I would also like to think that my attempt to give him some useful information about the town was enough.

A couple of months ago, I was called a closeted racist by a man after I declined his dinner invitation. I was totally caught off guard by the statement, and it confirmed why I didn't want to have dinner with him. Of course, I didn't care what he thought because I knew that he was being ridiculous and just upset that I didn't want his company. I guess that it has just made me wonder more about how other people perceive things and actions that we do. I haven't lost sleep over either accounts, but it's just made me more aware.

I appreciate all the input, ladies and gentleman.

 

I'm thinking the extremely hot and humid day in the bluegrass state, and the alcohol he was consuming may have contributed to him being so bold as to ask for a ride. LOL

 

GirlieGirl's scenario:

*Sonnyshao "So can I get a ride?"
*GirlieGirl "I'm sorry I have an important dinner date to get to."
*Sonnyshao (She won't give me a ride cuz I'm black?) "Ok then its no problem nice talking to you.
*GirlieGirl "Nice meeting you too" *Walks off*
*Sonnyshao "Cracka ass cracka...."

LOL

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043You are going to pay for that one. I will ride you anytime give you a ride anytime.

 

You're in Kentucky?

I'm from WV, and my hometown has less than 2000 people in it, and I still wouldn't give someone I don't know a ride. I just simply don't trust anyone I don't know, because even in small towns there are a lot of horrible people...honestly, in small towns sometimes it's just that people are good at keeping things quiet.

The fact that the guy had been drinking would have caused me not to even bother chatting with him in the first place, honestly. I trust drunks even less than sober strangers, cause I've seen them do some crazy horrible shit before.

 

Yeah I have been Labeled a Racist by stupid arses before a few times when I've refused guys advances at the club lol I just laughed, if it helps there self esteem to think it was because of that let them, I'm not there to exsplain myself in detail, I'm out for a laugh and they did not tickle my fancy.

Once also when I argued with a black woman about queue jumping, what an Idiot, she was queue jumping end of story.

I don't have time to sit and exsplain my dating situations nor the skin colour of my children, neither do I want to, it's none of there buisiness.

 

I think that everyone missed this part of my original post. I don't want everyone to think that I'm a taxi service for strangers in my town. LOL I'm blessed to live in a wonderful town. Several years ago, my town was voted by the New York Times as the best place to retire and has been in the top 100 small towns to retire or start a new business for years. You don't get those rankings because crime is a huge problem. Our town is full of old people and college students. Don't get me wrong. I don't believe that we are exempt from anything bad happening here. I'm not that naive. I just know that in 35 years on this earth that I can only recall one incident when I was 18 where I trusted someone I didn't know, and I shouldn't have. Did I pay a price for that mistake? Yes, I did; and it made me more guarded. However, it hasn't made me more guarded to the extent that I believe everyone is a threat either. I've always been a good judge of character and have a sixth sense about people. If I had sensed danger from this man, I wouldn't have interacted with him at all. However, I wasn't going to give him a ride regardless of whether or not I sensed danger because as I originally stated, I don't give rides to strangers.

DH, I am from KY. The man had been drinking; however, he was not intoxicated. His speech patterns were still in tact, and he was fully aware of his surroundings. If he had been intoxicated, I would have walked off and not thought another thing about it.

 

Didn't miss that part, darlin', just saying how I'd be in the situation. And his level of intoxication wouldn't change anything for me period, because, again, I don't trust drunks. I don't mean I don't trust drunk people, I mean I don't trust alcoholics...and an alcoholic's status doesn't change depending on their level of intoxication...they're still an alcoholic.

I'm sorry if you thought I was saying anything bad about you. That wasn't my intent. I was just sharing my own personal thoughts about it.

 

Honey, I didn't think that you were thinking bad about me. I was just trying to explain why I'm may be not as guarded as you. We all have life experiences that shape us and make us who we are. If I had lived your life, I'm sure my views would be different, and I'm sure if you had lived mine that your views would be different too. I'm glad that you share your opinions, and the difference in our opinions doesn't change what I think about you.

I lived with an alcoholic for the first 12 years of my life. My father quit drinking when I was 12 and hasn't had a drink in over 23 years now. He was never a mean or abusive drunk. He was a hard working man that worked overtime to support his drinking habit because he knew the regular part of his check was needed to support the family. He had a problem, but he wasn't a bad man. I don't know whether this man was an alcoholic or not, but my life experiences didn't make me judge him for having a drink. I'm just glad that nothing bad happened from this experience. If I've learned anything from this, it's that I might be too nice. LOL

Ok, I'm getting ready to go flirt with some men on the board. I don't normally reveal this much personal information about myself.