Dating, Engagement & Marriage

If any of you have been married or plan to marry, how long did you date before you became engaged &/or married?

I was with my former husband 7 years before we got married.

Now, if I were to marry again, I would not wait that long because we only live once (or so I'm told) so go for it! lol

 

For the life of Pete,
Big Foot has got her debating marriage already.....You go girl!......... I will be following you just as soon as I can find someone to signup for my bridal boot camp.

 

No Archie! lol I was just discussing it with a friend today. He's never been married and I like to get people's thoughts on this.

Archie, if you were in love with a woman, how long would you wait until you proposed?

 

The length of time should vary depending on the person. Two people may find a chemistry, level of trust, compatibility, and comfort making that commitment with one another sooner than they may with another.

In my opinion, anybody that answers with x number of dates or y number of years, is more than likely already of the wrong mindset required for marriage. There are plenty of variables that go into deciding to marry someone, and quite frankly., a time limit is just not one of them.

 

I 100% agree..... it also depends on where you are at that particular time in your life - and that partner. That number of days/months/years could vary even with the same partner.

 

Well said!

 

I agree, but I was looking for experiences not philosophy in general. For example Jaisee, how long were you with your former wife before you proposed?

 

Ahh, sorry... the original post and the follow-up question to Archman seemed more like you were looking for a set time before making that decision.

I was friends with my wife for 9 months before we began dating, engaged 2 - 3 months into our dating, and married about another 9 months later. However, we'd have likely waited longer if not for the internationalhoodness of our dating experience.... though, more for financial reasons than anything. We were both very sure that marriage to one another was what we wanted.

 

You marry when you want to get married. There is never a "right" time to do it and marriage is a bit like being thrown into a battle when you barely know how to fire your assault rifle. Long engagements and dating periods can be helpful in learning about a person but if it takes you an inordinate amount of time to learn about the person you are with, you and said person are obviously not spending enough time talking about what is important. It helps to dive in head first because if you are preparing for an easy way out if things go sour, you are likely to take the escape route when somewhat minor problems arise.

 

Athena, I wasn't originally going to share this, but what the hey....

Husband #1: We dated a year. Got engaged on our 1 year anniversary and married 7 months later. Got divorced 2 months prior to our 3 year wedding anniversary. LOL.

Husband #2: We dated for 4 months, got engaged, got pregnant, got married 5 months after engagement. That marriage lasted about 6 years. However, circumstances being what they were, I waited about 2 years before I left him.

In either case, like everyone else said, it depends on the 2 people involved.

You hear all sorts of stories of couples who waited 15 years before they got married and then got divorced quickly after that, and you hear stories of people getting married after knowing each other for days and stay married for life. It all depends on the readiness of the individuals involved and their maturity levels when they get hitched. :smt045

 

My first, and only marriage so far, happened 3 years after we initially got together. We got engaged about a year and a half, give or take a few months, after we started dating.

My circumstances were a bit different, though. I might have gotten married earlier than that, but I was still in high school. We met when I was 15, married when I was 18, divorced when I was 22. He was 18 when we met, and just about 6 months shy of being 25 when we were divorced.

We were married almost 4 years, but the last year doesn't even count much, since at least 8 months of it we were separated and I was living with my mother, and wanting a divorce that he wasn't ready to give me.

If I do it again, I guess it depends on the person. I personally don't think I would be able to be comfortable with a quick engagement/marriage since I'm a bit more wary of such a deep, and legal, commitment. Mostly the legal side of things, really. It was such a hassle the first time, and if I do it again I just wanna know, despite the impossible nature of such a thing, that it'd be for good this time.

 

We knew each other a very short period of time before we married. So far, it has been fantastic.

 

We have different views Athena

 

Lol Bosoxlady, yes that's a bit different than my story.

Thank you everyone for your input, it has been interesting and I appreciate it!!

 

I met my ex fiance when I was close to turning 17.We dated for 1 1/2 years,got engaged.It worked for 9 more months and then broke.

Now I'd wait a little longer than 18 months before getting engaged again

 

maybe about between 3 to 5 years ... also it depands from the time you will start to see the relationshiop as serious
too long not that good either
and if a marriege go bad does not matter if you were got married early or wait 10 years will happen ..

 

I agree.In the first about 12 months everything is so new and exciting you probably see more good aspects on the person you're dating than negative.
Then slowly they may slowly start to put less effort in showing their nice side and you may also begin to take the pink glasses off and see them in a more realistic light.Then going through some rough times together shows how dedicated they really are,how willing they are to make it work.How much they really want that relationship.
I say be with them at least for a year and see how things go in not so bright times.

 

Well I met my ex in March 1998...and we married in May 1998. Hows that for a short wait...!!! We lasted 9 years, have 2 beautiful children and are still great friends to this day.

 

Loving the dark hair, Tarsh!

 

Awwww thanks Kuntry you gorgeous gal you...!!! I like to change my hair colour to suit the season and the colour wine i'm drinking during that season...!!!