Not that the greatest Chuck Norris fan on earth but the C.N. jokes I've seen so far cracked me up If you have any feel free to share: Chuck Norris doesn't send messages.He leaves warnings Chuck Norris had 2 speeds:Walk and kill Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC,claiming "Law and Order" are trademarked names for his left and right leg Most people fear the reaper. The reaper fears Chuck Norris. Jack Bauer(24) makes Chuck Norris cry When Chuck Norris does a pushup he isn't lifting himself up,he's pushing the earth down Guns don't kill people.Chuck Norris kills people. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - TWICE Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.It failed miserably When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never f**k up. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul. Chuck Norris keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever asks him for his ID. kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the f**k he wants. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
I like this one: "[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody."[/FONT]
I went to a German site with Chuck Norris jokes,too. Lol. Some jokes I need to explain because it's typically German word play or one even a joke including a German rapper. Tomorrow I will post those.Lol
"The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep" Own'd
Okay this is a German one that I'm going to translate...hehe Once German rapper Sido asked "Who is Chuck Norris?".... Ever since he's been wearing a mask This picture shows Sido. In the international perspective section there's a music thread where I posted a video of him.
When Freddy Kruger got a nightmare he dreams of Chuck Norris Chuck Norris walks to the left when playing Super Mario Chuck Norris and Superman once had a bet...the loser had to wear their underpants on the head from then on... Chuck Norris never sleeps when it's dark.Not because he's scared of darkness,but because darkness is scared of him. Sometimes Chuck Norris donates blood..Just never his OWN blood He laughs best who laughs last.He who laughs about Chuck Norris dies! When Chuck Norris looks up to the sky the clouds sweat...this we know as RAIN... Jesus walked on water.Chuck Norris swims through land Chuck Norris needs a stunt double..but only for scenes in which he's supposed to cry There are indeed no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. When Chuck Norris goes to a club he makes a security check on the bouncers Nobody is perfect.Chuck Norris is nobody What's the difference between God and Chuck Norris? God knows mercy A feather is more mighty than a sword..but only if Chuck Norris holds the feather
Chuck Norris has already been to planet Mars.That's why there are no (more) signs of life there. Chuck Norris puts the Fun in funeral. Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth Chuck Norris doesn't twitter.He's already following you. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep
