Why Women Love Bad Men?

This needs to be repeated.

 

Unfortunately, the luny side of people might not show itself until well far into a relationship.






sorry, couldnt help myself..
I think the majority of these cases as described in this thread would go away if we could have a "mental stability" check before we get too sunk into a relationship.

I think each and everyone of us has been subject to some crazy behavior by someone we t h o u g h t were stable.

 

Been there, done that. I have no desire to find someone to repeat that behavior.

 

Me neither...
drama and unessesary difficultness has no place in my life.. be "simple" and straight forward or go away.......

 

Of course this happens occasionally but I personally believe some people use this as an excuse for their choice of poor men/women. Alot of people don't recognize red flags (or just ignore them).

Lets face it: Although it happens occasionally most people don't flip from a saint to an axe murdered out of nowhere and once you've already married them. There were signs they were an axe murder before if you would have really took the time to notice them and weren't blinded by emotions, looks, thinking you can change someone etc.

Alot of people are in marriages for alternate reasons like-- money, or because they felt left out because all of their friends are married so they marry the first man/woman they can etc. Then they want to act shocked when the person they marry turns out to be Ted Bundy. Most people don't want to admit when they have poor choice in men/women or when they have got involved for bad reasons so its just easier to say "they completely changed once we got married".

 

What you said in bold is the point people need to understand when criticizing women who lack precision foresight.

From all accounts, Robert Kissel appears to have been a mensch in every sense of the word. He also had adequate grounds to divorce his wife but did every thing in his power to salvage their marriage. What kind of man would offer to fly his wife’s lover in for a visit from Vermont to Hong Kong just to appease her?

Nancy Kissel was granted a second appeal in the “milkshake murder case”
February 10th, 2009 by Claudette Rothman

A three-judge panel of the Court of Appeal in Hong Kong granted a request to American Nancy Kissel, who was convicted of killing her husband in 2003, to file a second appeal before the territory’s high court.

Kissel was sentenced to life in prison for murdering her investment banker husband Robert Kissel, by lacing his milkshake with sedatives, then fatally bashing his head with a metal ornament.

The trial made worldwide headlines because of its allegations of drug abuse, kinky sex and adultery.

In the decision that was made by the panel today, the Court of Appeal sided with Kissel’s lawyers that the trial judge improperly allowed statements from several friends to be submitted as evidence.

Kissel, who admitted to killing her husband, testified that Robert was an erratic whiskey swilling workaholic who also snorted cocaine and forced her to have painful anal sex.

The American couple and their three children moved to Hong Kong in 1997 for Robert’s investment banking job. At the time of his murder, he was hired by Merrill Lynch to head its distressed assets business in Asia outside of Japan.

Court documents stated that Kissel killed her husband in order to be with her lover Michael Del Priore, who was a married electrical repairman, who had worked on her Vermont home.

Kissel lost her first appeal last October.

Robet Kissel was the brother of Andrew Kissel, the Greenwich, CT real estate developer, who was found murdered in his home.

 

I think you are correct in what you say - a lot of people dont want admit they did a bad choice in spouse. Many times we do oversee things that we later realize we should have paid attention to in the first plase.. Hindsight is always 20/20.

However a large number of people do not have any mental issues until they end up under stress - and thus are perfectly fine, until something happen and they change into psyco mode.. something set that off... whether a real or percieved slight.

Severe stress does funny things to many people (may it be death, loss of job, divorce etc).. Do I give them an excuse?? HELL no, its just an explanation (one of many) why some perfectly fine people do spin out of control.

Also, some relationships are pure posion, just bad chemistry between two people that on their own are fine or with other people are just fine, but together - baaaaad juju....

Of course Im not talking about these extreme cases weve seen horrid examples of in this thread... that is just straight jacket lobotomy crazy..
and you would think that there should be signs there.

 

I agree Scott with what you've said regarding not recognizing or ignoring red flags, I have certainly done this myself as have my previous partners I am sure!

Changing once someone marries is fairly rare I think but I have experienced someone changing radically (over time of course) due to their job. Going from a university student to an inner city police officer changed my former husband dramatically. Leaving suburbia to be immersed in grit, and general nastiness made some lasting changes. In all fairness we both changed - I knew many of the same "bad guys" as he due to my job and we both became cynical and angry (at the time - I am working on lightening up and releasing that former attitude).

 

I always wonder about that shit.

 

The thing about recognizing red flags is sometimes people are just too naive, or too stupid, or too "in love" to notice it.

In my own personal experience with a very bad relationship, I was far too naive, and also too traumatized from an extremely bad childhood to notice all of the little things that should have alerted me that something was wrong with my ex-husband. I freely admit that I should have cut ties far earlier than I did, and that I made a mistake, but the problem with some of these cases, as in mine, is that by the time realization dawned it was too late.

One must also take into consideration that in a lot of these cases manipulation and mental abuse are taking place to a degree many outsiders don't get the oppourtunity to see, or don't take into account. Men and women both have at their disposal tools that can be quite easily turned into control mechanisms over another human being, if they choose to.

Manipulating other people to suit one's own gains has been employed for thousands of years, it's nothing new. Some people manage to control large populations, others only someone in close quarters, but it does happen. Not every person has enough wits about them to avoid falling prey to another person's cruelty, and even people who think they do sometimes fall victim as well.

This is not to glorify the plight of the victim, however. Not all victims are blameless...hell, most victims have, as earlier stated, at the very least not noticed or blatantly ignored warning signs. But that, to me, doesn't justify demonizing someone in all cases. I find it easier to form an opinion on a case by case basis, however, because not all situations are the same. In some cases the victim is just an ignorant cunt who endangers others by their almost manic self destructive seeking out of bad people. In others, a decent person fell prey to a psycho.

The important thing to remember, in my opinion, is that unless one has personally dealt with a situation similar to whatever is being discussed it is really hard to imagine the types of feelings associated with it. Logic is one thing, but logic gets skewed when emotions are involved, and it adds a new variable to a seemingly otherwise black and white situation. Grey areas are far more numerous than people like to think, I believe, and every situation has details outsiders may never be privy to.

 

Truedat...Houston Red.

In a situation involving abuse, Person A is being controlled by Person B. Meanwhile, Person X looks in from the outside and says "that would never happen to me...how could Person A be so weak?" The tools you speak of that Person B uses on Person A may serve as a form of kryptonite for an otherwise strong Person A...Person X may have particular weaknesses but not necessarily those which can be exploited by Person B. That does not mean Person X is immune...maybe they are and maybe they are not. However, the outsider looking in must consider all of the apparent and not so apparent variables which can contribute to a man or woman's inclination to allow themselves to be mistreated.

 

Many good points here.

 

Bad boys are a lot of fun for a little while. :smt079 They get boring after a while though.

I wouldn't date one either. :smt083

 

Bad boys annoys the crapp outta me, not worth a second of my time.
Its a huge turn-off

 

Houston Red? Oh lord, is that my new nickname? I guess it's better than "kiddo"...hahah

You know I love ya....kid.

 

Nice political correctness there

 

Nice catty nonsense talk there.

 

Nope, I dont give a crap about political correctness.
I write what I think.

and I dont even get "political correct" in talking about "bad boys"
???????

 

You'd know about catty.

 

and now you call me disingenious.. wow.... oh and playing dumb...
I get the warm and fuzzies.

I wasnt offended, I was confused why you would jump into that conclusion and assume I was lying (that was pretty much what you did).

You do realize that not all women go after bad boys.. seems like you think ALL women do as you immediately pegged me as as playing dumb, being political correct and disingenious.

You really have no reason to call me all of those things at all and I do think you owe me an appology - it was really uncalled for.

You could have easily stated your opinion without that personal attack crap.

Fyi
I really do not find bad boys attractive and I do stay the hell away, Im an adult and I dont want drama, I want someone that got my back and that I can count on - no matter what. The momnet a guy revals "bad boy" tendecies is the moment I put my running shoes on.