Women's wish of having a baby

Did I say anything I wrote was fact? I don't like your assumptions, sir, because all I said was "generally" this, and "generally" that...but not once did I say "This is the absolute undeniable fact".

P.S. I don't read blogs that aren't attached to my personal friends. It's ironic you'd jump to that conclusion. I'm amused.

 

There are no words for holding the child you created with your love, none.

The awe you feel knowing that this little person is a blend of the two of you, wondering what they'll look like, which features they'll get, whose personalities they'll inherit.

I too never wanted children, ever, until I wound up pregnant, not married, and yup with a bm's baby, abortion was not an option, so I guess I was gonna be a mami. And yes we were using birth control. I was willing to do it myself if he didn't step up either. I was no where near financially ready, I don't think people are ever ready, except the rich.

It is simply beyond intense to carry life within you, this is something a man will never understand.

When you adopt you don't know what you are getting, personality wise, intelligence wise or what their parent's mental health background is nor what diseases run in their family, it's a crap shoot.

And yes to a certain extent, it is a crap shoot with any pregnancy, but it is yours. I love looking at my daughter and seeing how she has my ears, hands and cute little feet, or that my son is an exact replica (except for coloring and hair) of my husband right down to the little pinkie toenail that doesn't grow right, they even have the same birthmarks!

 

I was the same as you Athena...I never wanted children growing up, even going into my 20's I was still on the same path. I just wanted to travel, concentrate on my career & look after my husband. All that changed though when I hit 30. The clock started ticking very loud. I couldn't think of anything else other than having my own child....and I must say that once Harper came into my life everything changed. 17 months later we welcomed his sister Daisy into the world.

All this was my doing. My ex really wasn't interested in having children when I was...there was a lot of begging on my behalf & I'll always be grateful that he agreed for I'm truly blessed to have my beautiful babies in my life. Would I have more??? I've thought of adoption seeing there isn't a man in my life at the moment, and I would definately have maybe another 2 biological children if I met the right man. Children are hard work, but they are more than worth it. I've never experienced the love & joy that I have now before in my life.

 

Wow, sounds like you're in Haven, I wish to experience this love & joy that you're talking about. I had plenty of opportunities to have kids...... but did not find the ladies to be right for me and passed on those opportunities, oh well I kinda regret it now.

 

The ladies must learn the ways of the Pigmy chimps

 

This is the traditional assumption but it's flawed because it implies that non-human animals consciously realize that sex will result in procreation. Same- sex behavior is seen in nearly all animals, masturbation and 'sex' with inanimate objects is also common, even inter-species sex occurs in the wild. Some non-human primates even engage in oral sex. None of these things lead to reproduction.

http://whyveg.com/news_article.php?article=308

http://www.thestar.com/sciencetech/Science/article/278492

Sex is an integral part of bonobo society, they use it to mediate conflict and express affection. Females have sex with other females, males have sex with other males, adults have sex with children, they tongue kiss, perform oral sex etc. When bonobos quarrel, they make up by having sex.

WhiteSheDevil,

I'm happy for you and your partner but I think your perspective (on adoption) is harsh. Personality has as much to do with environmental influence as it does with heredity, Madonna's Malawian son will be a completely different person, having been raised by Madonna, than he would have been if he were raised by his biological parents (and not just because of cultural differences). A person's identity goes beyond their genetic heritage.

If, hypothetically, you found out that your daughter was not your biological offspring, the hospital had accidentally switched her with another baby soon after she was born, would you stop loving her? Ultimately, you love your daughter for who she is, as a seperate individual, and not because you view her as an extension of yourself.

 

AfroLove,

I will admit I do have a somewhat harsh view of adoption, somewhat skewed by personal extended family experiences. These that did not turn out so great.

Eventhough that was the case, even I still sometimes ache for the unloved, unwanted children out there and think that I would like to adopt but the husband is firmly not with it.

You are a sum of nature(genes) and nurture(culture). Sometimes one wins out more over the other. It is hard to determine which factors will influence and which things will be most affected.

And of course you are right about my daugther, nothing would sway my love for her. She is her own person(I believe you are born with your personality to a large extent), firmly entrenched in her personality, polar opposite of mine, she is my MIL in minature, she is nothing like me - so definitely not an extension of me. I love her for her unique little self.

Although humans are mammals we are not on the same level as other animals, no where close. No other animal tortures for the fun of it. Sex feels good. I think all animals do it for pleasure.

LOL at the Pigmy chimps comments...

 

I think so,too. I personally probably don't want any kids .at least not anytime soon.

 

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I think to have your own biological child is a natural craving, to have offspring that resemble you in features or mannerisms is a way of saying he/she is mine and strengthens the bond as a parent, but of course that does not mean everyone feels the same.

So as to the actual question,
how important is it for women as a whole to produce there own offspring?........uhmm...how long is a piece of string? I don't bloody know!

 

I'm quibbling for absolutely no reason, feel free to ignore this as it is a truly tiny unimportant point:...

Cats totally do.

 

Primates do....as I'm sure other animals in nature do, too.

 

No regrets GZ...I firmly believe that if its meant to be, it will be...!!! There is still plenty of time for you...!!!!

 

Bonobos are female ruled. The males dont go out waring as the female of species is the arbitor and they use sex to settle disputes, not violence as seen in male dominated species such as chimps, gorillas, etc.

 

Leave gorillas alone, they are gentle and harmless :smt071.

I think they are turned on by the thrill of the hunt and not being cruel per se, I don't know. (Common) chimpanzees can be some heartless bastards.

 

Cats play with their food, I don't think their intent is to cause pain purposely. Or do you just have a thing against cats?

As to primates torturing for the fun of it, don't see it, although they can be cruel, there is usually a reason behind it.

I have never heard of a serial killing chimp.

but I could be way off on this.....

 

I totally don't care what the male bonobos are doing (hence "whatever"). Not the most interesting part of the story, ya know? Unless they're building robots. If the male bonobos were out building robots while the females were having sex, then I might remember. Short of that, or, *maybe* the male bonobos becoming pirate ninjas, there's not much chance I'm going to remember their half of the story.

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I don't at all have a problem with cats, but I've seen my own go after a mouse a couple years ago, and it was not a good day to be a mouse. They may indeed have thought of it as playing, but from the mouse's point of view, I'm sure it was torture. The whole thing is such a slow, painful death, and they let it go several times, making it think it had a chance to run, only to catch him again. Then again, I didn't exactly rescue the rodent, so I guess that makes me an accomplice.

 

The trend to have less childern is not tagged onto women per se.
It is simply by design by how our society works today...
I mean, In the 50s, we had a provider and mother stayed at home.
Today, the vast majority cant make it on one salary and thus, the opportunity to have more childern is gone.
With the post war - era, when the women in larger and larger masses went for work and also education - based on the needs of them entering the work force etc- also add to this.

Then you have the fact that an education takes X years, thus pushing the age of first time pregnancies up as compared to the 50s. Then you have to establish yourself in your field, and lets face it, many companies are not in favor of having women giving birth still.

Of course women of today compared to the 50's or even the 70s are more career focused etc and so on bla bla - and this in conjunction of the need of women in the work force and inability to live on one salary just compounds the "problem".

I think men of today has changed as well in their desire to procreate - clearly.
We married MUCH MUCH earlier in the 50s than now - people did not play around, party and date around as we do now. Also, the pressure on men in the work force is higher than it was before if we look at the hours the average males (and females) spend at work compared to before.- so I must say that mens desire to prokreate has also changed quite a lot. Both by design of todays requirements but also how we have changed mentally in views.

In the era of materialism as we are in, we also seem to be more inclined to not have childern at all, but rather spend money and time on other stuff...

Good or bad, the western world is facing a problem with the aging population and will soon enough not be the power we are.. err.. were

I would love to have a child of my own, but adopting is very important to me as well... if Im lucky enough on both accounts.
The reason I dont have childern yet was because I was so focused on my education and career, and - boom, time flies - your old!! gasp

 

It is kinda important when you say they are out waring, when in fact they are a gentle species. If you are going to use them as an example, then you should at least know the fundamentals of their social interations. Or not. Just spout BS.

 

BMJ you arent fooling me.

 

Fair enough. Good point, I shouldn't have posted so carelessly. Rep added.