Women's wish of having a baby

Just out of curiosity, how important do you think it is for most women to have biological children? How many do you think would rather adopt or be child-free?

 

Of which country or continent? In germany, I would say, maybe 40% want to have own children. Minimum 60% of them older than 30 years..

Adoption is rare, only if a couple wants to have children, but there is no possibility. It is also very complicated in germany to adopt. So maybe 5%?

 

North America, I guess.

That's surprising.

 

Maybe the official numbers are different, but this is my experience.. To be honest there are not many women, I know, with children.. Germany has a big problem, around 2020 over 50% of population are older than 45.. So we will be a country of pensioners soon..

 

Yeah, I've encountered the same. In the majority of adoption cases it almost seems like a last resort when people can't have their own biological children or IVF treatment and whatnot doesn't work.
In England, I wouldn't exactly say that there's a population crisis but that's not because women want their own biological child. People just aren't very careful here, I'm pretty sure that England has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in Europe.

Personally, adoption isn't out of the question for me at all. Biology isn't what makes you a parent, it's how you raise and how you love the child. There are so many children that need homes all over the world so I don't think biology is that important. I think the need for their own biological child is stronger with men than women.

 

Great post Russia!

I agree that it seems the urge to leave their biological mark is stronger in the males of our species. Personally, it's very unlikely that I'll have biological children and will adopt instead. Many of my friends are simply child free and loving it with no plans to adopt or have any. Even within Canada, different communities have different stats. Northern Alberta where the money flows relatively easy (in the oil and gas communities) is full of young pregnant women. The bigger cosmopolitan cities have much less of that.

To answer Afrolove: not important at all to me.

EDIT*** if my partner was absolutely dying to reproduce, I would consider having one child and adopting the remainder - not contributing horrifically to overpopulation and in fact not even replacing the two of us.

 

Women should be able to do whatever they wish regarding their own bodies.

I think the question that needs to be raised is: Why are larger numbers of women opting to either wait to have children or deciding not to have children?

Men regardless of socioeconomic standing haven't seemed to change all that much in terms of the desire to have more kids over time. Women have changed a great deal however. Obviously it is different between the sexes because women actually HAVE the babies but what is the cause of the decline?

Is it related to a desire to pursue career/life-related goals? Is it based on the fact fewer and fewer women are getting married...and if so why is that? Is it because women are waiting later and later to take the discussion of marriage seriously (men too)? Do women want to prove that their identity is not tied to having children?

 

Chosen - great questions! I think you've approached some of the answers already such as waiting until later to marry if at all, pursuing career/travel/life goals, and realizing that having babies is not always the biggest mark one can leave on the planet. After all a crack-ho can get pregnant and have babies - it's not exactly a high-end skill lol.

When I was younger and actually for a very long time, I never wanted children because I believed that we women wreck our bodies to have the babies of men who will run off anyway to be with a woman who doesn't have children. Skewed view, I know, but that's exactly what I saw all around me so why would I believe any differently?

Today I can still feel that kernel of doubt about having a partner stick around, but as one wise Caribbean woman told me - "girl choose a man, have your baby and get rid of him - you north Americans are too fixed on having him around when you just don't need him."

Currently my reason for not having children is that I don't have an overwhelming drive for it, & I have a life that is not conducive to raising a child well. In a few years, I will be in a better position to give a child a wonderful home, but she doesn't have to come from my womb for me to love her with my everything.

 

Athena, good post, BTW why does it have to be a she not a he? lol.

 

I agree.

It always seems (especially in your case) that women that would make GREAT mothers decide to wait or that they don't want to be mothers. Often however, we know ourselves and our situation better than anyone else. If you know that you are not prepared for it then no one should question you.

What I wonder about is the numbers and the amount of affluence. It seems that women in wealthier nations are much more against the idea of having multiple children. I guess I'm a man from the olden times when it comes to family. My maternal great-grandparents had 11 children and eight of those kids had AT LEAST 10 children each. My deceased father was the 6th of seven children and he had four of his own. I used to say when I was in kindergarten that I wanted to have six kids. Honestly, I could see myself having anywhere from four to ten children. I don't know where that inclination even comes from

 

Why do you think this?

 

I wish I would live in a world, where it does not matter how much money the father has. So that I would have the free choice of having at least one child to raise it it even when the relatioship with father don´t work out.
Unfortunatly, I did some stupid decisions in my life, so I don´t have much money and many option of earning money are not avalible for me.
But maybe this is even not so bad, since this world is in front of one of the biggest chalanges ever. There will be not enought food for the world population and this can turn out real bad. People of western countris even from the east don´t know anymore, how it is, when there is starvation. I think that is somethink this world has to face in the next years.

But anyway... having a baby is one of the deepest wishes I have. But probably that will not come true, because I simply don´t feel secure enought to provide a child a goood life.

 

I don't care if I make my own babies or if someone else makes them for me, I just want to have a whole bunch. At least 3, preferably more.

Since I was a kid I knew I wanted to have kids, and after puberty I felt it even stronger. I tried for a few years with my ex husband to get pregnant, but it never happened, which, in the end, was all for the best considering the way things went.

It's even worse now, after my miscarriage a few months ago. If it weren't for the fact that it's nowhere near financially feasible for me to have children I'd be trying to get pregnant again in a few months...but, I'm too poor, in the middle of trying to get my degree, and I haven't been with my boyfriend long enough to even consider kids yet, either.

If all of those factors weren't obviously against it, though, then I'd be trying to have a kid. Or adopt. Anything, really. I just have a very strong desire to be a mother, and I hope one day I can manage it.

 

Males of every species want to pass along their genes. Human males have the added interest in passing along a family name. Females tend to be more nurturing, and even animals don't generally have a problem with raising offspring that isn't genetically theirs.

Of course it's not always the case, but in general it's the way it works out.

 

I don't think male dogs, chimpanzees, cats etc. consciously realize that having sex will result in biological offspring, they do it simply because they have a physical desire to copulate. Humans are most likely the only animals who even understand what "genes" are. I'm convinced that the desire for children is cultural, as opposed to the desire for sex which is physiological. The fact that non-human animals often adopt non-biological offspring only proves my point.

 

I think this because of the people that I am surrounded by and their views on children. Absolutely no science behind it, just personal observation. I've had only one man in my life who didn't push for children.....

 

Well, I dunno if they know why they do it or not, but I do know that supposedly humans and dolphins are the only animals who have sex for physical pleasure, where as the rest of the animal kingdom does it for breeding purposes only.

 

Pigmy Chimps will have sex for recreation. They discovered that occasionally, while the males are out fighting & whatever, the females pass their time with lesbian sex. Which I just find funny as all get out.

 

I really don't like the course of this conversation at all. A lot of generalized statements being passed along as fact. Most of said info is either picked up off of a number of unverified sources. Hell, could even be coming from a lot those blogs that we, as a society, have overly come to depend upon.

Also, remember, any type of research study on males or females can simply be proven to be false by the next study that comes along with different results.

 

I'd say 90% want to breed in their lifetime. I'd rather be child-free.