My "Unconventional Life"

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by stiletoes, May 30, 2009.

  1. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    According to my idiot father, I have an "Unconventional life that is designed to shock thsoe who care about me.", since I date black men. He is now refusing to speak to me until I "get a nice white boyfriend.". What a douche.
     
  2. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    Damn. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he comes to his senses.

    Unbelievable.
     
  3. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    I'm really sorry to hear this. My own father isn't exactly approving of my dating choices, but he can eat a dick for all I'm concerned. My family knows they have no say in my life choices, and they can either support me or back off. They'd be the ones losing me if they made the wrong decision, and since I pretty much raised myself I don't owe them jack.

    It doesn't make it any easier when family objects, though. I hope you're ok.
     
  4. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    I'm okay with it. I sorta of knew it would come to this, but I have learned not to back down to anyone. It is a relief to know where I stand :)
     
  5. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    *Solidarity fist*

    Fuck the haters. :D

    I have that written on my bathroom mirror, just to remind me every day that haters aren't worth the energy. :D :D
     
  6. vanilla2chai

    vanilla2chai New Member

    Well that kind of stinks.

    Do you know why he feels this way? Can you two talk about it or is that impossible.

    I am a firm believer in finding happiness in my own life. That includes surrounding myself with people who love and respect me for who I am, the choices I have made and the life I live.

    Sadly, sometimes family does not fit those criteria. As hard as we may try, there are members of our family who create a toxic environment that they try to force us to live in by the bonds that family imply.

    I don't buy that. Create a "family of choice" for yourself. They will give you the love, support and respect you deserve.

    Blood does not equal acceptance. It would be nice if it were true, but it is not always the case.
     
  7. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    So very true!! I'd give you more rep points if I could. :D

    Sometimes members of your family think they know what's best for you, but only you know what's best for you.

    Follow your heart and surround yourself with people who bring positive things into your life and support your decisions and want to see you succeed. And sadly, oftentimes, family doesn't always fit the bill. (I know that all too well).
     
  8. vanilla2chai

    vanilla2chai New Member


    Thanks Bookie.

    Sometimes families really can hurt you. Parents forget that their role is not to create another exact version of themselves, but to give their children love and support.

    I have to say, I am very fortunate, my parents are both very cool. They taught me to live with my heart and be open minded and love people based on character. I really lucked out when the stork dropped me on that particular doorstep.
     
  9. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you did.

    It took me many years to realize that my parents were trying to control me "out of love". You know, they know what's best for their kids and all that. I'm the only one of my siblings who's figured it out, and am acting accordingly now - not letting them run my life.

    It's quite the struggle, but I'm finally feeling liberated. LOL.

    I still love my family and spend time with them, I'm junt not letting them try to run my life anymore.
     
  10. Arwen

    Arwen New Member

    Sorry to hear that, girl. If it was my dad, I'd punch him :smt062
     
  11. alli

    alli New Member

    Oh, hon, that's horrible. :( You keep living your life, staying on the path you know you are suppose to travel.
     

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