What's going on with you?

Not much. I'm thinking on how much I personally dislike teenagers.

 

you so craxy.

 

It's true. When I was in high school, teenagers thought they was the shit and some were spreading kids like wildfire.

 

what does that mean?

 

Shit, I'm with you on that one.

 

Teen pregnancy was high where I was at.

 

:smt090 LoL

 

My man is stupid.

 

Him and I decided to just be friends until I get myself and my life together.

 

You are 19, right, Bro?

What happened? :-(

 

:smt056 britty i hope that you are okay with this...i think that you have to know this isn't about you...it is really interesting how men on the inside can analyze someone on the outside...i suppose that is because they have 24/7 to do it...is he together? does he have his life together or was he counting on you to make all of that happen for him...perhaps this is an opportunity for you to do something for yourself...if you have been waiting for him to start your life again...now, you can just focus on britty!

 

A lot of stuff. He says (for really dumb reasons, if you ask me) that I'm jealous, insecure, clingy, overly sensitive, unmotivated, he doesn't like how I just accept my situation and how I've given up and let myself go, that I don't listen to him, that I don't love myself, so I can't love him either, he doesn't like my attitude, etc. He said that I broke his heart because when he asked me for $50 from my tax refund, I didn't say, "Sure, Hubby! I'd love to do that for you!" and I hesitated because I wanted to use it to go to the doctor because I've been having "women problems" for almost two years. He thinks I'm worrying about nothing when it comes to that or he just doesn't hear me when I've talked about it, I don't know. Well, I ended up sending it to him because I don't think I had enough to go to the doctor, but he's still upset because I wasn't so enthusiastic about it. A while ago he told me that if I killed someone he would help me hide the body and I told him I don't care/it doesn't matter because it's not applicable, so he said I made him feel like he can't talk to me about anything, no matter how crazy it might be, so he doesn't feel like I know how to be a friend to him so he's going to write other women as friends that he can talk about anything with and whether I like it or not, it doesn't matter. He thinks if he stops being my man then I will take my situation seriously and get my butt in gear if I'm afraid to lose him forever if I don't . He said that I have a childish mentality and he needs a woman with an adult mentality. And he says that he's not going to spare my feelings any more because I'm a grown woman, not a child. He's tired of "talking to me like a child by sugar-coating everything." He wants me to "grow the fuck up" and learn to control my emotions. He was pretty upset when he was saying that stuff. But basically, he wants me to focus on myself and becoming a better woman, then once that happens he wants to get back together :smt104. He says that I can think whatever I want to about him but he can't continue being with me if he's not mentally, physically, and emotionally attracted to me. But he still wants to write and be friends and wants to pay for him to be able to call me collect. But I need to change first before he can commit to me again. He says he will still "be there for me" and I have "not lost him" and that he's willing to give me advice to help me better myself and my life if I let him. And he said that he's tired of telling me how to show him my love and that I care for him. He said if I'm still this way by the time he gets out, that it's over, and he going to get out and find someone else and make a family with her, period. Oh and he said that as of right now, I'm "almost everything he doesn't want in a woman". I've tried to tell him I'm depressed. I took a questionnaire online that said the likeliness of me being clinically depressed is high. I tried to tell him that and that I think it explains my not being motivated or very active and why I have been overly emotional/childish and insecure. But he doesn't accept that or think it's any reason for anything. Then the day after (yesterday) I got another letter from him telling me that he got the card and a po-em which I sent to him (before I got his breakup letter) a while ago for his birthday though his birthday isn't until the 24th (but I'm impatient so he got it on the 4th) and he said that he loved it, that it made him feel like shit for being so harsh with me in his last letter, but he still wants to be "just friends" and he said that he is still in love with me and wants only me but I have to change first and he just doesn't know what else to do or how to relate the seriousness of the situation and then he gave me some "advice" on something he wants me to do that will help to get back our union. He said that I have two years before he gets out to do whatever I need to do to get myself and my life in order. I guess that's basically it, in a nut shell.

Don't ever get involved with a bipolar, manic depressive, Gemini. One minute he'll be the sweetest, most loving and caring, perfect man you have ever thought you'd know. Then the next minute he'll be the cruelest, most heartless piece of shit you have ever thought you'd know. :smt093

 

Thanks Lipstick . I actually am excited to be able to just focus on me anyway. It's been something I've wanted to do for a very long time. I just don't understand his logic at all or what the hell he is talking about, or what makes him think breaking up with me is the answer to get me to do that. I'm not motivated by "fear" or being heartbroken. But whatever @ him. Your question "was he counting on you to make all of that happen for him" reminded me of something else he told me. He said, if I have no ambition how am I "going to motivate him to become great?"
I think he thinks he has his life together and that he's changed for the better and all, he even thanks me for the part I played in it. He reminds me of someone who needs to step down off his high horse sometimes though, to be honest. And he likes to tell me, "I've changed for you! Now change for me." He thinks that "leaving me" will get me to change, because he thinks I did the same when he was being destructive/destroying his life and I said I don't want to be with someone like that. But it's not really the same thing.

 

fuckity fuck fuck fuck
excuse my french

my mate was in court today, facing 6 months for a bull shit charge caused by a mate of his ( mate put money in my friends account but turns out he straight transferred it from someone elses account now my friends up for fraud )

theyve refferred it to crown cout insted and now hes facing 14 years damn

 

Damn, that is BS. Fuckity fuck fuck!

 

Honestly, I think he knows how smart you are. He knows enough about you to know that you have the heart to make something of yourself. To be somebody. I know you're heartbroken. I know you are. But use this time wisely. He has given you a shove in the right direction...I think he KNOWS you have soooo much more potential and will never reach it fully until he isn't in the equation. And good for him. Because you deserve more. And he knows it. Looking back, can you tell me the last time you've actually done something for yourself? Probably not. This is you time. You're still young. And damn Brit, a mind like yours is a terrible thing to waste. Get out there. Be who YOU want to be. Move on. Be your own inspiration. The rest will fall into place.

 

Awww shucks Thank you Kuntry You're the sweetest! I want to give you a big hug! Very motivating, thank you.
I wish I could give you rep again!

 

Great post KG!! :smt023

Yes, Britty, take this time to figure yourself out and get out there and live your life....

 

What's going on with me now? It seems like everytime I make a post, even if it's negative, I get a bad rep. It's getting very fucking irritating. Excuse my French!:smt093:smt013

 

Britty, I don't really know the situation, so I really can't tell, but from what you say it seems like he is just trying to push you to do something better with your life. You have a great potential, since you are very smart. I think he thinks it's a waste. He has right that you have to love yourself in order to love other ppl better. I think he is trying to motivate you. Sometimes I get depressed and busy about my life and my mum becomes mean to me and at the beginning I am hurt, but in the end I know that's the only wahy for me to actually act anch change things. I'm not saying he is right: again, I don't know you and the situation, just something I thought about because it reminds me of my mum a lot.