what do white women love about black men?

I agree with you. A few people here seem to have to justify their liking for white women/black men by bashing black women/white men. It's a bit silly. If you like black men you like black men, it has nothing to do with white men.

 

Thanks for your compliment. It was just an epiphany I had the other night after reading all 46 pages of this site. I find it is not WHETHER my Caucasian guy friends/dates/boyfriends criticized me, but THE DEGREE of the comments they made. Sometimes it was overt insults or criticisms, other times it was nitpicking, which they may have seen as harmless. Still, over time having someone mention the hair on your toes or suggesting you take up running/strength training as a hobby does not go unnoticed. These types of comments just slowly erode a woman's self esteem. Perhaps the solution is to start nitpicking back, give them a taste of their own medicine? I wonder if that would stop the behavior? :smt102 I know most women don't really care about these shallow flaws in the guys they love, but it is the principle. Hmmm, I wonder....

 

OMG I have so been there!


And no, IMO the solution is not to nitpick back at them. The solution is to move on, let them find the anorexic chick of their dreams (or should I say "IN their dreams?"), and not waste any of your energy on them (a lesson I wish I'd understood a lot sooner). Next!

 

First - welcome to the site!

UM well - WOW that was quite a post!

I hate to burst your bubble....but there certainly are plenty of black men who have been *brainwashed* (as you stated) to prefer the same things you have described wm prefer, and to exhibit the same nasty behaviors. If you spend some time looking around this site, you will easily find some of it.

I really appreciate your enthusiasm for black men. As a ww who has a strong preference for black men (American) I certainly understand having whatever preferences we have. But to go into sweeping generalizations and have it be all about comparisons of one race to another....hm I just don't quite understand the need to negate one race to claim preference for the other.

I have to wonder if you would like to hear the same sorts of things being said back. As in, black men going for white women simply because of negative experiences or perceptions of black women. I mean I realize there are plenty out there who feel this way. Just for myself, I prefer a man who wants me because of me, not because he's SICK of women of his own race. Your post really falls into several stereotypes out there. I would hope most white women who are with black men are not really with them because they are not able to find a white man who accepts and appreciates them how they are. I realize the myth/stereotype exists (I learned about it here) that white women go for black men because they can't get a good white man. That has never been my personal experience. Your post really feeds into that though.

I just don't get the need to put down one group to try to build up another. I'm not questioning your experiences - they are what they are. I guess I"m just questioning the conclusions that you have drawn.

Black men who are wonderful men are wonderful men because they are, no need to compare them with white men (or asian, hispanic, whatever)

Maybe I'm really off base here (certainly wouldn't be the first time) I just think if I was a black man reading that I would be rather offended.

BTW - there are jerks in all colors shapes and sizes. I have to wonder if once you have a couple of negative experiences with black men if your generalizations will change.

 

I'm sorry but I don't think this is racially dependent but rather character dependent. The solution is to not hang out with people who are like that no matter what color their skin is!

 

I agree with this, for myself. However, for some, it obviously is connected. It's like there needs to be some excuse to simply like what you like.

 

**Character dependent**.... I like that. I totally agree....I tried to give you rep but I couldn't because apparently I've given too much out the last 24 hrs.! So here's a little ovation instead...
:smt038

 

See below.

 

I've read the pages of this site, I've been involved in many of them. I was around for quite some time before I joined the site. Yes, definitely LOTS of generalizations.

There was no need to list out all the *American* men you were referring to (in the original post you were much more about white men vs black men)....the point I was making wasn't about how many men behave in the ways you've experienced.....my point was - what does that really have to do with whatever your preferences are? I mean isn't the truth if you like foreign black men it's simply because you do? And yes maybe it's because of this or that attribute that you mentioned that you have found them to have in common. But why the need to go out and trash another group of people?

Hey whatever works for you.

 

How are giving concrete examples of personal experience "trashing" anyone?

 

Well thanks for that!

 

As I said before - your experiences are your experiences. That doesn't mean that it's an accurate representation of the average white American man.

 

Well, as a black man I just have to say that it feels good to be loved by anyone.

Props for the thread ladies, you may continue your cat-fight now.:smt023

 

No offence but from what you wrote it sounds like:

"Basically my toes are too hairy and I'm much too unfit for a white man so I shall go with black men since their standards are obviously lower."


Sorry, it's BS. How about going out with a guy who is just as unfit as you (regardless of colour) and has mega hairy feet then there will be no problem.

 

:mrgreen:

 

I think sometimes we as IR couples try too hard to measure ourselves according to other people's misconceptions about us.

I've read quotes from WW going back to the 60's & 70's saying how much more comfortable they were dating BM, because they didn't have the constant beauty scrutiny. Does that mean BM don't have standards as high as WM? No, not at all. It means they deal with those standards differently. For instance, a BM is less likely to be verbally abusive to a woman he's dating who he finds unattractive, in part because he is less likely to date a woman he finds unattractive in the first place.

One quote I read, years ago, was from a WW whose last white boyfriend would ask her for a beer, and then "Moo" at her when she bent over to get it for him. The BM she dated after leaving him, and for then on, never did that. Is it because BM are attracted to women that WM find cowlike? No. It's because the BM she dated treat the women they are with respectfully.

Another I read, again, years ago, was from a WW whose white ex would watch everything she ate. He'd actually pull her plate away from her mid-meal. If he saw her eating, he'd stop her and ask "do you really need that"? It gave her a complex. Then she met the Black Man she left her ex for. They went to a get together, and he saw her plate was empty. She waited for the complaint, and he said "Did you get enough to eat?"

Was that because the BM had lower standards? No. It's because he wasn't a control freak. Did she like him because she could be fat with him? No, actually with him she was able to get right through the complex and totally normalize her relationship with food because he treated her like an adult who could handle her own decisions about what she was going to eat.

In White & Black monoracial couples, there are often control freak issues. There just are. BM talk of BW running their lives, obsessing over jealousy, screaming abuse at them and picking fights. WW talk about WM the same way. Both seem to be looking for something different in a relationship, both talk about having peace at home.

BW & WM who hate IR couples speak the same bs. WW who date IR have daddy issues. BM who date IR hate their mothers. WW who date IR are fat and can't get a WM. BM who date IR are weak and can't handle a BW.

BM shouldn't look for anything but what they want. If they are attracted to bigger women, then they should look for what makes them happy. Yes, there is a stereotype that WW in IR are big.

There's also a stereotype that they are passive weaklings. Should BM seek out crazy psycho bitches with bagfuls of attitude just to prove the stereotypes wrong?


No.

There's almost nowhere IR couples can talk about the contrasts they've experienced inside and outside of IR relationships without worrying about other people interpreting those experiences into stereotypes. Surely we should be able to talk about them together, at least. Surely a WW should be able to say that BM have not been as obsessed with beauty standards in a relationship as WM in her experience without other WW in IR interpreting that to mean her beauty isn't up to standards.

I know we're all trained never to see anything as better, or to make generalizations, but interracial couples are better. There's a reason everyone's jealous of us. We're happier, we fight less, we share chores better, we make smarter & prettier children and we look freaking awesome together. Noting what we like better about our chosen dating pool than the one expected of us does not diminish ourselves, it just gives us a chance to appreciate what we've got.

 

Swagga?

swagga? Is false pride or is to make up for real insecurity. Liberal whitewoma are so stupid.

 

I'll second that

 

Shouldn't the title of the thread be, "Why Some White Women Love Black Men?" or "Why Some White Women Might Give You a Second Look Even if You're Not Saty?"

 

I haven't read anything from this thread, but that statement is highly stupid.