Honestly can a guy be close friends with a women?

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I heart you. That shnitz is too funny, girly.

 

This is what I meant when I said, "not by choice." Yes, it does happen after, as you said, things "didn't work out romantically."

Oh, don't worry. Androgyny is coming soon.

Paradoxically, I think that most women CAN have close platonic friends.

The nice guy thing needs to be addressed. Those guys you described didn't sound so nice to me. I'll do a search and see if you guys have already talked about that.

All that I am saying, and I'll drop it after this, is that if I am attracted to a woman, then I will not hide behind the facade of friendship when in fact I'd really like something more with her. To me that would be completely dishonest.

 

Somewhere...waaay back in one of the deepest corners of hell...there is a snowball...relaxing...just chillin...

I actually agree with bmj.

 

I had two male friends before I married. One I had to stop contact because every time I tried to just find out how he was making it, he wanted sex. The second went from being an email/phone/mail friend to just an email friend, but I havent heard from him in a while. He had never spoken of love before I got married, but several months after he admitted he loved me and things just havent been the same. I am on the fence about keeping contact with him simply because it wouldnt be fair to him when I have never had any romantic feels or any attraction to him at all. Not when I was single and surely not when I am married....and very, very happy.

So, I dunno. I dont really see it working out for me. Everyone else will have to decide for themselves.

 

I think that if there is an attraction then no. But if not yes.

 

like i said before on this thread for friends it won't be a problem but for close friends will never work maybe for a while it will but one day will turn different
i dont know maybe if the guy is gay maybe will work who knows

 

I agree with black master jay and socalgirl.


NO GUY approaches a woman wanting Just FRIENDSHIP. He wanted to smash or date her, got rejected (or maybe she's taken) and he decided to settle for friendship. She was nice enough to offer friendship (rather than flat out saying get lost and giving the "i never wanna see you again" cold shoulder vibe) and so he assumes with time and putting some work in he will get her to date him.



Females with guy friends are just really naive. They think he really wants to be her friend when in reality he is just a deer hunter, waiting in the bushes, waiting til his time to strike....


Personally i dont think any guy and girl can have a TRUE close bond and friendship that is 100% platonic. a real friendship is about pure trust and caring, no alterior motives or jealousy.

Men seek other men for friendship because we have things in common. music, action movies, cars, sports, man talk, etc. women like shopping, chick flicks, talking about their "feelings", all that crap. I'll listen to my girlfriend talk about her drama wit her girlfriends or go shopping wit her or go see the Notebook with her...but ONLY because at the end of the day im getting some booty. This might sound like a pig but why would I do a bunch of stuff im not interested in to not get anything out of it? At least when I chill wit my guy friends we do stuff I like...


Another thing is, and this may be just me, but being JUST friends with a girl i find attractive is insulting. It's like being rejected everyday. At least when I hit on a girl at a party/club/bar and she rejects me I move on and never see her again. But each day i chill with a girl I wanna bang who I KNOW will never bang me, it's as if she is silently rejecting me every time we hang out or spend time together. its torture and pointless.

so CAN a guy and girl be JUST friends and TRUE close friends, no alterior motives...? Not at all. There is ALWAYS some attraction. No guy (or girl) ever FIRST approaches someone of the opposite sex with friendship on the mind. They wanted more, couldnt get it, and settled for being just friends. There was always that "something more" someone (or both) wanted and friendship was what's left. IM NOT SAYING I'VE NEVER BEEN JUST FRIENDS WITH A GIRL, BUT IT WAS NEVER BY CHOICE. THE WHOLE IDEA SUCKS IF YOU ASK ME. IT'S MY OPINION THAT MEN AND WOMEN WERENT MEANT TO BE FRIENDS. THEY WERE MEANT TO BANG. end of...

 

Its very easy to be good friends with a woman. Come on guys if she is like 40 stone, and ugly but a nice person then its real easy. I Dont find every woman attractive but just because I dont find them attractive doesnt mean I cant enjoy their company.

Guys who cant just be friends with a woman are the ones who cant have a stable relationship and these sort of men should really come with a warning sign.

If you get married are you truly saying you cant socialise or just be friends with other females without trying to sleep with them or there friends?

this thread has really drawn out some clearly immature folks.

 

But can you be just friends with an attractive woman?!
Like everyone said, as long as you aren't attracted to one another, it's possible to have a steady, strong friendship. That's why a lot of women have gay male friends, I guess.
But can you be friends with someone who you find attractive, and finds you attractive? I think that's completely different.
I have a few good looking guy friends and we are just friends, but it's down to circumstance. If I met them in a different way, it would have come out different.

 

Again its pretty straightforward for me, perhaps if I was single it might be a bit more challenging. And im not going to go out and start flirting with her, if she starts flirting with me then it becomes a problem. But from my experience when I have met really atrractive women and tried to be friends they havent allowed it and have tried flirting and when I havent reciprocated, it descends into portraying me as someone without game or someone who thinks he is too good for them. But really all it is is Ive got a long term girlfriend who I love very much.

The point Im making is that it can work but only if both parties are on the same page, but they propably wont be, most attractive women expect all men to try and hit on them and when they dont, that in itself can cause problems. And most men DO try and hit on all attractive women and end up becoming friends by proxy of rejection but wanting to stay on the girls radar. So I cant blame the women either.

 

My friend and I use to have this conversation. We say no. Only unless both parties have no attraction to each other what so ever.

 

Any white guy will just stay a friend.... no matter what he feels...

 

Very true and I am good friends with several gay men too,

 

Yes,they can unless the woman's bf or hubby gets antsy.

 

Wow.

 

Exactly.. when you clear it up, where is the limit (if there is an affection from his side) they accept it..

 

Some very interesting replies so far....

The bottom line is, we men want sex with women we find physically attractive. I am no exception, and I'd be surprised if any of the single guys here were.

SO....unless any of the following criteria are met, namely;

1) she's lesbian;
2) she's physically unattractive to me;
3) either of us is in a committed, exclusive relationship,

then sooner or later, sex will be on the table (possibly literally).

We are physical creatures, if an uncommitted man and woman find each other physically attractive as well as friendly, the NATURAL course of action, sooner or later, is sex.

A man can be good friends (beers/coffee/lunch/trips etc alone for no other reason than company) with a physically attractive uncommitted woman, but at some point, he is likely to attempt to seduce her. We are conquerors by nature. If that seduction fails, the friendship will start to fade as he loses interest. Also, I would suggest that that an uncommitted woman is not apt to keep things platonic forever with a guy whose body and mind she both finds attractive.

 

I think it is no problem that sooner or later sexual issues will be on the table. The matter is, how in this relationship the rejecktion will be handled.
I have a very dear friend who revealed to me years ago that he is atracted to me.I was telling him frankly that he don´t fit into my prey profile and he respected it. We are still very good friends. An other guy who I was close to, could not handle it at all. friendship failed then at the end. But that is ok. Rejection is part of the game.

 

Posted this before.......Harry is wise in these matters

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