BM image in the workplace

This is an interesting thread, Intrigue (one of your many, I might add). As I've said countless times now, I don't live or work in the USA, so am not able to comment on your "angry black man thing"....But, I just think about my own life and extrapolate that out.

Don't we all have a little "face" up at work? I think this is normal. I work in a professional environment and although I am middle class, and work in a middle class environment, I certainly don't take my pub demeanour into work. Simply because it's not the place for it.

But, I never misrepresent myself. I am 100% comfortable with myself and the way I behave. I have been and am capable of mixing in many different environments. I look and represent myself as what I would consider to be educated, conservative middle class. When I meet and talk with people of a different background, I remain true to myself, but change my communication method to ensure that we can communicate. I find that this allows me to converse with anyone because they respect me for being me, they feel non-threatened because I am obviously comfortable and non-confrontational, and we are able to exchange ideas.

This, in turn, benefits me - because the greater variety of experiences I have, the more well-rounded I become.

 

I've always asked people what is it to be considered "too black" for white folks and "too white" for your black peers and I have yet to hear a coherent answer.

Almost all Western societies put pressure on black men, but then in general, here in the US, black people put pressure on other black folks if they are or appear to be different or act differently than them. Examples, Obama was attacked for not being "black enough" and Clinton was called and even praised to be the "First black president". Many black Americans I know who were very cultured and spoke English properly told me that they are often criticized by other black folks for "talking white" and "acting white".

So I hope I would finally get an answer: What the hell does that mean to "be black", "to act black", "talk black" or "acting white", "talking white" etc in the US? And what is a sell out? What are requirements for an individual to be called by such a "flattering" epithet? Who decide whether someone is qualified to be considered "black enough" or not? And finally, does the word individuality mean anything in this society?

 

K, it's not that I can't get along with people, that's not the case at all. I have a very aloof personality, combined with my 'look', apparently I'm not that 'welcoming'. I believe people stereotype me immediately when they see me, however, once they actually talk to me, it's a whole different world.

In the work setting, I have to make an effort to 'smile' and be approachable. Outside of work, I don't comprise my true personality...why should I? I don't get paid for that.

 

:smt054Thank you Luv, I'm glad you enjoy my contributions.

I appreciate your input and I agree. The reality for a BM in America is that we have to politic quite a bit, particularly in corporate America. It just depends on how far you're willing to go. I'm not outgoing, but I do try and build strong relationships with pple at work because they've been beneficial to me at one time or another. I've been able to earn respect due to my EXAMPLE rather than demanding it. So, I do believe you have to put on a 'gameface' at the appropriate time.

It's just like going to church...I may have left the AfterHours and gone to church in my "club-clothes", but I'm on my P's & Q's. LOL!!

 

LOL,
unless of course you're a trauma doctor and they are hemmoraging from a gun shot wound.

 

:smt023I have to agree with this. This has always baffled me. We limit ourselves. As I've said many times, we're our own worst enemies.

 

ah, the dance of corporate Amerikka

 

Fuck that! Regardless of where im at...whether at work, in the streets, or whatever...Im ME! Im not gonna lose a wink of sleep about how im preceived by others...whether its ww, wm, bw, or whatever.

Now when im at work, I do try to project a business/professional attitude, but thats because im being paid by my boss to do so. But when Im on my own time...then the image I project is usually a reflection of how I feel at the time...nothing more...nothing less.

For the short list of people who have seen my pic, they know that i dont smile...much. Thats just who i am. Now that doesnt mean im not approachable, or in a bad mood...thats just my everyday look. But once a person speaks to me, they realize that I no different that any other guy (black or white) on the street. (Actually...im very quick to smile, but dont tell anyone.)

If a ww...or any other person has preconceived ideas about black men because they watch too much television and dont know how to pick up a book...then thats their loss. Stereotypes and other types of misinformation are changed and/or destroyed when people step out of their comfort zone and explore the unknown.

 

I used to think a bit like this, until I grew up a tad and realised I was cutting off my nose to spite my face.

People are people - you may, in fact, be right with your opinion...but you still have to live in the world. I guess it all depends on what you want to get out of life.

If this works for you Jelly, then I'm happy - and even moreso if it makes you happy...But, I don't think this is necessarily going to achieve the best results.

 

I'm in agreement with JB (I knew he would come through!). I'm paid to perform at work, and because of that, I make certain adjustments to ensure I'm effective...I adapt.

I think FEHG & K have the same perspective, but like Jelly, I have no desire to compromise who I really am to 'appease' the general public...if you can understand that. It's not about 'growing up' at all. Should we put on a fake smile and do a song and dance to make others feel comfortable? We wouldn't be true to ourselves if we did.

Perhaps I have missed out on certain relationships...or as Jelly stated, it's their loss if they have a certain preconceived notions of who I am based on my looks or demeanor outside of the workplace. Like the women on this board have so admirably done, it's up to 'others' to see through the smoke and propaganda to realize who we are and not let stigmas dictate their attitudes.

Great input on this thread.:smt038

 

Yeah, I Just keep my mouth shut at work, never try to talk about anyone or put myself in compromising positions

 

Yeah. Perhaps. I just feel that for me, as I get older, it's a natural progression that I am making subconciously.

I used to have a "f*ck - this is me, if you don't like it, then fine" attitude, but am finding that I am changing as I get older.

Perhaps it is not so much the projection of myself that is changing, but my true self? I don't know....

Too much to think about on a Monday morning
Either way, we're all cool with where we're at...

 

Exactly.

There is a difference between dressing the part (as in dressing for success) and doing what works and is appropriate to the situation and putting on a major act and trying to be someone or something you are not. Just because someone dresses and behaves appropriately for the occasion or the environment doesn't mean they are not themselves.

As far as jobs and politics and all that...well that exists everywhere for everyone. I don't care if it's our children's activities, our jobs, school, whatever. There are always "politics". The key is to do what is needed (which is a CHOICE if you want to deal with it or not) and still be you.

 

Wow...now thats what i call a shot across the bow!

But last I checked, it was child-like jellybird - 3...shucking and jiving fehg - 0.

 

I don't hide I hate all them motherfuckers at work, I project it more than ever now.

 

dam bro 3 years.

You must be bored for all this digging

 

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