Watchmen Long-Awaited Adaptation Of Graphic Novel An Underwhelming Disappointment By Kam Williams (March 9, 2009) It's hard to imagine how Hollywood in 2009 could possibly continue to crank out such satisfying, comic book hero adventures one after another as it did in 2008, a year when we were treated to a quartet of outstanding offerings, including Iron Man, The Amazing Hulk, Wanted and The Dark Knight. Unfortunately, that impressive string comes to an abrupt end with the release of the Watchmen, an underwhelming splatter flick bound to be as well remembered for its casual display of male genitalia as for its ubiquitous gore. Based on the popular DC Comics series of the same name, this eagerly-anticipated adaptation was directed by Zach Snyder, who had followed his spellbinding debut, Dawn of the Dead, with an equally-compelling sophomore effort, the critically-acclaimed 300. Here, however, he takes a giant step backwards with an overambitious production plagued by a plethora of characters and a convoluted plotline that takes almost three hours to introduce, thicken and resolve tidily. Part of the confusion comes from the backdrop of the story, which is set in 1985 in an alternate reality where Richard Nixon is still president. Furthermore, America and the U.S.S.R. are at odds and teetering on the brink of mutual nuclear annihilation. The point of departure is the mysterious murder of The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), a retired member of the Watchmen, a confederation of superheroes who once worked for the U.S. government. His body is discovered by Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), a former colleague who sports a mask with a constantly changing symmetrical ink blot. Rorschach decides its time to reassemble the old gang in order to get to the bottom of the crime, unaware that this endeavor will, in turn, embroil them in a subplot to save the planet from extinction. Most notable among the motley crew coming out of mothballs are brainiac Ozymandias (Matthew Goode); techno-wiz Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson); curvy Silk Spectre II (Malin Ackerman); her lover Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup); and her mother, Silk Spectre (Carla Gugino). One can't help but notice two things about the scene-stealing Manhattan: that he's blue, and that he's always naked. And the latter distraction tends to overshadow his amazing superhuman ability to bend matter with his mind, the result of the proverbial exposure to radiation in a lab accident. For, whenever the camera shoots him below the waist, we're treated to the shocking sight of his dangling family jewels in all their glory. Equally jaw-dropping is director Snyder's tendency to up the ante in terms of gratuitous violence. For instance, in the comic book, Rorschach killed a kidnapper simply by handcuffing him to a pipe, setting the house on fire, and calmly walking out. But in the screen version, Rorschach has inexplicably morphed into a sadistic vigilante who takes glee in hacking away at the same sicko's head with the cleaver. A morally-ambiguous parable designed to tap into homoerotic urges while satiating the bloodlust of the sanguine, post-Pavlovian Cyber Generation.
Nice renders, interesting story. It's great when the movie doesn't rewrite the original story. Horrible modeling on Manhattan's body. Horrid character development. Horrid costume development. Some of the acting was also horrid. We need a new Spawn movie. One that is rated R!!
Will not see this movie. Best friend said it was awful, and one of the worst he's seen. Most people said it was more or less a soft core porn flick. I heard Dr. Manhattan's blue thingy got more screen time than anything else in the movie. I'll pass.
It wasnt porn. Porn is sexual. Dr. Manhattan wasnt sexual in the movie, just nude. Like another blue superhero...
Oh, ridiculous. They had Rorschach splitting the guy's head open because the director and the screenwriters thought that the Saw movies made that scene from the 1986 comic redundant. That's all. If anything this film watered Rorschach down and made him softer and more likable than Alan Moore intended. The character in the comic was a rampant sexist, right wing nut job and a homphobe. In the book he was more abrasive and violent even towards the innocent. Kam should stop faking. Its obvious he didn't read the graphic novel. The film itself was good for me overall but I knew ahead of time it was never going to match the original comic maxi series. Hell, I knew it wouldn't be as good as the motion comic either. There are twenty things I can point out that was wrong about the film. There are also forty things that I can point out that were good to great about the film. Its not perfect but its ambitious and for Kam to knock it for being overambitious is a sad reflection of our increasingly dumbed-down society. We like things, especially our blockbuter films, to be predictable and safe. Seriously Kam is crying about too many characters? He's crying about too much violence? Is he serious? Could he not keep up with all six main protagonists. Hell, the X-Men give you more than that but those are such simplistic films taht I guess its either easier to keep track or easier not to give a damn as long as Wolverine has enough scenes. And I love the violence in the movie because it echoes the violence in the graphic novel which was for mature readers. No wimpy PG-13 for this flick. Seriously this flick was never going to be a typical mainstream phenom. Its long. Its violent. It doesn't compromise. It has characters mainstream America does not recognize. It has no stars. Its a period piece because its set in 1985. And maybe that's a detriment to its overall quality in the end. Maybe a better film could have been made with more compromises. But I won't fault Snyder for at least trying to give us something different than the same, tired, superhero cliches that we are getting on the screen again and again. As a movie Iron Man works better than Watchmen because it was a more successful at achieving its more limited goal to mindlessly entertain. But there is barely a scene that stayed with me from Iron Mountain once I walked out of the theater. The Watchmen film had far more cringe worthy scenes than Iron man. But it also provided moments that will stay vivid in my mind for years to come (and I'm not talking about Malin Akerman's ass). Also Kam has to get off his homophobia scare if he thinks this flick is homoerotic. Dr Manhattan was naked in the graphic novel as well. When you are essentially a god like he is it would make sense you would no longer burdern yourself with the human modesty, traditions or behaviour. There's probably a half dozen scenes with male frontal nudity. That's not my thing either but in this case it was easy to accept because 1)those flashes happened pretty quickly and 2)it was a freakin' blue cgi dick for goodness sakes. If anyone had a problem with it they should have just kept their eyes focused up at Dr Manhattan's face. Plus any film with Malin and Carla Gugino ain't homoerotic unless we're talking about straight female audience members being aroused by those ladies. "300"? Now THAT was a homoerotic film. The Watchmen though had a bunch of flabby, old guys covered completely in costumes.
Not true. Plenty of people who love the GN don't care for the film. And a lot of people who never read the GN came away adoring the film. Go to any highly visited movie message boards and you'll see that this is true.
